It's A Struggle~

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor 

and slander be put away from you, along with all malice."

Ephesians 4:31

 I've been struggling of late.  An event occurred in my family over Christmas which brought back to my mind a lot of negative memories from my past.  The more I remembered, the angrier I became.  I know in my heart of hearts that I cannot change anything in the past.  I also know in my heart of hearts that holding onto my anger and resentment is not only sinful, but it also destroys my joy.  This I openly confess: I've been angry and resentful about things I can not change or alter.

Having said that, Abba has reminded me, in His ever so gentle poke between my eyes, that the reason I entertained the anger and resentment was due to my own lack of faith!  In my own weakness, I listened to the whispers of the enemy.  You see, that is one of the ways our enemy works...waits until we are weak and then whispers to us to "remember when...?".

When Oliver Cromwell died and the monarchy was restored, the powers that be were so angry with Cromwell that they supposedly had his corpse exhumed, had it whipped, hung and beheaded.  Why do this to something that was already dead?  The same reason I brought to my own mind those "corpses" of past events...namely because I wanted to. It's just that plain and simple.  I listened to the one who does NOT have my best interests in mind and wants to keep my focus off of the ONE who does.  And I fell right into that pit.

Therefore, I am learning and will continue to learn to leave the past in the past.  Let it go!!!  Turn EVERYTHING over to Abba, and let Him deal with it!

 

Don't Drink The Poison

Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you your sins.

Mark 11:25

 

Have you ever tried to pray when you were angry with someone?  They did something to you that you found offensive.  Perhaps, they said something about you that hurt your feelings or your reputation.  The harder you try to pray, the more the enemy keeps reminding you of the reason you are angry and resent that other person.  After a while, you just give up trying to pray instead of seeking resolution for your resentment.

 

I found a quote from Max Lucado that I thought appropriate: "Resentment is the cocaine of the emotions, causing our blood to pump. And our energy level to rise. There is a dangerous point at which our anger ceases to be an emotion and becomes a driving force.  That's why bitter people complain to anyone who will listen.  And, like cocaine, resentment can kill. Physically - with high blood pressure and other conditions.  Emotionally - with anxiety and depression. Spiritually - as it shrivels the soul."

 

When we come to pray, God expects us to be ready to talk with Him.  Resentment steals our focus and sends God the message that He is not as important to you as your anger.  Guess what?  When you resent someone, they OWN you!!  BUT one of the most incredible feelings in the world is the freedom you receive by making peace with the other person.  Even if you just have to agree to disagree. Make peace!  Don't drink the poison of resentment.

 

 

Hello, My Name Is Inigo Montoya...

You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.

Matthew 5:43-47 

I admit it, all these killings of late have made me extremely ticked off!  Why is it so intolerable for someone to want to destroy so many lives of worshipers?  Is it because they disagree with one groups ideology?  Is it because they simply have been taught to hate others because of their beliefs?  The more I thought about it, the angrier I became!  Then...I realized that I was so angry that I could not pray for anything other than revenge, because my hatred for the perpetrators of these crimes had become my focus.  Because they had become my focus, I had taken my focus off of God and replaced Him with blind anger and rage and desire for revenge.

When we focus on anything more than we focus on God, then we can no longer worship Him because we have replaced Him.  I had to spend a lot of time praying for God to cleanse me and forgive me for my anger and for replacing Him with my rage.  I had given these killers the position in my heart and soul they did not deserve!  I had allowed them to own my thoughts and they didn't deserve that!  

Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies and those who hurt us.  That sounds good when you are just reading it from a distance of the hurt.  But when you are in the midst of the hurt and anger, that becomes a daunting action.  Yet, God is the one who will judge, He didn't give me that position.  Hatred and anger and desiring revenge will only escalate the situations.  I am still bothered by the senseless violence, but I am learning to turn it over to God.  My time on this rock is temporary, I must focus on the eternal.

I'm Mildly Discomforted

A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth.

2 Timothy 2:24-25 

 

I admit it, I can be a bit of an antagonist at times, usually more for my own selfish amusement rather than seeking to justify a position on a topic.  As a matter of fact, I was wholeheartedly in favor of school segregation with the students being in one building and the teachers in a completely different building.  It actually sounded quite advantageous to me....my parents, on the other hand, found no amusement in my ideas

 

As I have gotten older, I have witnessed countless protests and groups of people being offended by some other group.  We become offended because of the tiniest and, yes, silliest things.  It's as if we seek out reasons to be offended.  Everyone is so busy being upset and offended that no one seems to be returning to common sense or seeking actual solutions to REAL issues!

 

Here's my point, Paul reminds us that we are to be kind to all.  Imaging how disarming  simply being kind and respectful can be?  You see, when we get upset because others are upset, what difference are we making?  However, if we remain calm when everyone else is upset, people will notice and begin to ask questions as to why we are different.

 

And here's one truth to always keep in mind; THIS isn't our real home anyway!  We are merely passing through for a few short years. And spending those few short years angry, upset, frustrated, and generally unpleasant to be around, is not very appealing, is it?

Anger.....Not Always A Good Thing!

Commit everything you do to the Lord.
    Trust him, and he will help you.
⁶ He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
    and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

⁷ Be still in the presence of the Lord,
    and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
    or fret about their wicked schemes.

⁸ Stop being angry!
    Turn from your rage!
Do not lose your temper—
    it only leads to harm.

Psalm 37:5-8

I have a confession to make...I have anger issues.  No, not the kind where I will end up in a slasher movie.  But I tend to let things get under my skin and eventually they reach the point where I can't take anymore and the explosion is resounding......and my anger explosion gets me in more trouble than if I had just kept my mouth shut.  

There have been many times when I wondered what could God possibly be thinking!  I tried to follow the rules, color between the lines, keep to the Standard Operating Procedure, yet someone else always managed to step in and get recognized or given the credit or didn't get punished or even flourished.  And I got angry!  Guess what my anger got me?  

It's amazing how many times Scripture reminds us to "Be Still" and "Don't Worry" yet we can't seem to follow those simple instructions.  When I am thinking about something and concentrating, I am either walking or pacing (depending on how much room I have).  If I find something disconcerting, I have the tendency to worry.  And guess what all my worrying helps?  

God is the one in control!  All our worrying; all of our anger; all of our discontent; all of our rage; all of our impatience does not negate the truth that God is in control!  We have to learn (yes I am talking to myself) to go through our lives remembering that God loves us; is in control of all things; and everything He does has a purpose that we may never see.  

I pray, even now, that God would teach us to be still and know Him! 

Everybody's Talking AT Me!

My dear brothers and sisters, always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants. 

James 1:19-20

 

 

You've seen the look. That glassy-eyed, glazed over stare of someone who, while sitting right in front of you, has left the chat long ago.  Why?  Is it because they're bored?  Perhaps.  Is it because they don't like you? Not necessarily.  Could it be you've been doing all the talking and not listening? Most likely.

We like to talk. We have lots to say and some of it might even be relevant. Some of the time we just talk to fill in where there might be an "awkward" silence.  But here's what I have discovered in working with people, especially couples, each person is talking AT their spouse and no one is listening.  There's no give and take in this two sided monologue.

Today's passage gives us three vital points which will benefit EVERY relationship:

FIRST, "Always be willing to LISTEN."  Notice that LISTENING comes BEFORE talking!  How can you even begin to understand what someone else is thinking unless you listen?  And if you don't understand what they are enduring, then how can you help them?

SECOND, "Slow to speak." Don't just blurt out the first thing your mind thinks!  If someone tells you their spouse gets in their face all the time so they just shut down, and the first thing out of your mouth is "Well, you don't have to put up with that.  You should just LEAVE!"  How is that helpful?  Be slow to speak. "Taste your own words before you spew them onto others."  Most arguments begin because we forget to LISTEN because we're too busy TALKING.

THIRD, "Be slow to anger."  This is probably the biggest hurdle couples face right not.  We are SO quick to get angry.  Which all comes from our desire to not listen and not thinking before we speak.

One of the tools I use in couples counseling is a simple game.  I ask one spouse to say something or ask a question to the other.  Then I ask the other what they heard.  It might be similar to what was said or it might be completely different. And herein lies the issue which leads to most arguments.

Listen, weigh your words, and learn to curb your anger.

The Eagle Has Landed!

You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:27-28

Remember the 10 commandments that God gave to Moses?  The "church folk" were so hung up on making sure they appeared to be following these commandments to the letter that they forgot one very important aspect.  And when Jesus pointed it out to them, they were none too happy.  

When I was a teenager, I went with our church youth group to the beach for a week as sort of a Spiritual Retreat.  One of the leaders tried to teach us the difference between lust and adultery by using a bird and tree analogy.  He said, "If a bird sees the tree and flies over it, that is just a passing thought, which is lust.  However, if the bird lights in the tree, that is an intentional action, which is adultery."  Not long after that class, several friends and I were walking along the beach and, seeing a pretty bikini-clad young lady, one of our group said, "The Eagle Has Landed!"

I learned what Jesus meant later when I was in college and heard, what I thought was, a radical teaching.  Jesus wasn't talking about literal actions!  Jesus was talking about our INTENTIONS!  When I thought back to that day at the beach, I was ashamed of myself.  Here I figured as long as I didn't act on my thoughts, it was okay.  After all, what did it hurt?  Then I began to understand that how I programed my mind, determined how I treated others, respected others, saw others.  If I was angry with someone (and really wanting to knock their block off), I would treat them with disrespect and contempt long after our disagreement had been resolved.

Like the old computer adage: "GIGO"  Garbage In, Garbage Out.  Be careful what you allow in your mind, because it will come out eventually.

I Ranted And Raved And Guess What It Got Me?

The Lord will fight for you. You just keep still.

Exodus 14:14 

Last week was one of the worst weeks I have had in a long long time.  I was out of town in what was supposed to be a three-day training.  Things don't always work out the way we envision them or plan them or hope they will or even how we think they ought to go. You see, I thought I was going to have a chance to get away, learn some very insightful and useful things I could then bring back and use to help my Department, then I could come home and share my wisdom with all.  

 

But....didn't happen that way.  On day one, I was trying to answer emails during the breaks, return phone calls during lunch, and when I got back to my lodging a whole new set of issues.  I was hoping to review the material and get some rest.  There were three reasons that didn't happen:  First, hotel mattresses are almost always uncomfortable to me and no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't get comfortable.  Second, my neighbors on one side sounded like they were having quite the professional wrestling match, while on the other side the sounds and noises were, shall we say, not something I wanted or needed to hear.  Third, the air conditioning was not working.

 

On the second day of class, more of the same of answering messages during breaks and returning phone calls during lunch, until....I got the message that a dear member of our Department had passed away.  I had to read the message several times before it finally sank in.  I had just visited the dear lady and now she was gone.  So when I got back to my room, I tried to put some thoughts together to deliver her funeral message but couldn't think.  I prayed for peace and none came.  Suddenly, I got the strong need to get back home to deal with this up close.  So, I packed, got in the car, notified my instructor what had happened, and came home.  

 

On the way home, traffic was frustrating and infuriating.  At one point, the three lane interstate had been converged into a single slow moving lane due to road construction.  Not only that, but I got behind that ONE person.....you know the one....who has to keep half a mile between their car and the vehicle in front of them (and they aren't about to move).  So I was stuck behind them for what seemed like hours.

 

All this time I am letting God have it!  I am unloading a barrage of my opinions and perspectives, directives, expectations, and in language I didn't remember learning in the Army.  When I finally got home, I was still fuming.

 

I spent the night tossing and turning and, true to form, at 4:19am, I was wide awake and knew God was ready to have a chat.  I began this prayer time with my sincerest apology for my ranting and raving and for my frustration.  And guess what I got in return?  The peace that I cannot explain, the lightening of my burden because of the forgiveness I had been granted, and such a clarity that I knew what needed to be said at the funeral.

 

I wrote some things down, let the family read it, and was ready to deliver it on Thursday.  Thursday Morning, I got a call from the family asking for a couple of changes to what I had written.  Again, I prayed for focus and the help to say what the family wanted.  I jotted down the notes given to me by the family, and let God take it from there.

 

All my ranting, raving, frustration, and anger....and God reminded me to "BE STILL!"  God reminded me to let HIM do the fighting for me.  Let Him speak through me.  

 

We're never to old to be reminded that God is God and we are not!

Time To Strip Down!

We are surrounded by a great cloud of people whose lives tell us what faith means. So let us run the race that is before us and never give up. We should remove from our lives anything that would get in the way and the sin that so easily holds us back.

Hebrews 12:1

In the days of the original Olympic games, the athletes participated in their events without any sort of uniform, or with any clothing at all for that matter.  Why? Because it was considered to be more fair and equal to run without any sort of hindrance or burden.  Look at our Olympic athletes today, especially the runners.  They wear as little as possible and it is as lightweight as possible so as to not be a hindrance to their performance.

Yet as we stroll through life, many of us struggle to walk because of all that we are carrying.  Marital issues, family discord, financial burdens, job struggles, emotional struggles, health issues, addictions, arrogance, laziness, not doing what we know is the right thing....they just seem to keep piling up.  Eventually, we are barely able to claw another inch forward.  Our lives become more of a burden than a joy.  And we wonder why.

The writer of Hebrews tells us that we should RUN the race that is our life and NEVER give up.  How can this be possible?  By removing, letting go of, dropping ANYTHING that holds us down and especially any sin that burdens us.

Think about this:  This means we need to let go of what we cannot control (which is pretty much everything) and allow God to help shape our lives so we can run with the Grace that He offers us.  That means we will have to make some changes, especially in ourselves.  It also means we cannot keep those around us who drain us.  

Are You A Peacemaker?

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.

Matthew 5:9

I have seen this used by Law Enforcement as one of their motto verses.  And it is true that one of the duties of Law Enforcement Officers is to make, and keep, the peace.  But guess what?  Jesus didn't say "Blessed are only the Police for they shall be called children of God."

Guess who is eligible to be a Peacemaker?  YOU!  That's right, YOU are eligible to be a peacemaker!  Just as YOU are eligible to be called a Child of God.  

Peace Makers are just that...makers of peace!  They aren't riotous! They aren't destroyers!  They don't demand their own way!  Peace Makers realize that, while each of us is different, we can all still work together and get along.  

I've watched some of the demonstrations across the country on the news.  Some are very peaceful, but some are, for lack of a better way to say it, a riot looking for a chance to explode. And when these demonstrations explode into rioting, what does that accomplish? Businesses pull out of those areas, thus jobs are lost; property is damaged or destroyed thus insurance rates go up and the cost of living also rises.

I remember watching movie about Gandhi.  He helped bring about MASSIVE change to India without riots, destruction, and violence.  Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. helped bring about MASSIVE change to the United States with his dream of people being united and living in peace.

Somewhere along the way, we seem to have lost that desire for peace.

How Guilty ARE You?

But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.”

Luke 9:62

I remember watching a farmer try to teach his son how to plow the field properly.  The cow did exactly what it was supposed to do and pulled the plow.  The son, however, kept looking back at the furrows to see if they were straight and could not understand why they weren't.  The farmer told the boy to focus on a point straight ahead of him and guide the cow toward that point and the furrow would be straight.  The boy did fine for the next couple of furrows and then he began looking back again to see how they were going and got angry that the furrows were not straight.

 

Son: "That stupid cow can't plow a straight line for anything."

 

Farmer: "It ain't the cow's fault boy. You're the one who kept looking behind instead of ahead."

 

Son: "But that stupid cow kept messing up.  That cow knew how to walk a straight line and didn't. That cow should be shot!!!  That cow is SO Stupid!  How can that idiot beast do this to ME?  Now my friends will never thing I can be a farmer."

 

Farmer: "Son, when you're finished blaming, put on your big boy pants, and stop focusing behind.  FOCUS ON WHAT'S AHEAD!  The cow goes only where you LEAD her. So stop being a jackass or I'll let you try plowing with a jackass, ya'll have a lot in common."

 

This story makes quite a number of points, but the one I want to focus on is the GUILT FACTOR.  How many times do we look at someone's past, after they have admitted their mistakes and have taken steps to correct their mistakes, but we just keep hammering the guilt factor home like a blacksmith pounds iron on his anvil.

 

When you're feeling the need to drop the guilt hammer on someone for their past faults that they have admitted to and are working to restore themselves to you, do this:

 

          Go look in the mirror and remember: "For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard." Romans 3:23

 

So before you break out the Guilt Hammer again, ask yourself if you are perfect.  "I'm not perfect, but as least I didn't do what THEY did!"  True, but that still doesn't make you without sin, now does it?

 

Remember the story of the Adulterous Woman in John chapter 8?  The Self-Righteous folk demanded that this woman be found guilty and then beaten with rocks until she was dead.  Was she guilty?  Absolutely. She was caught "in the very act."  So what was Jesus' response to the Self-Righteous Folk?  "If you are incapable of sin, throw the first stone" (John 8:7).  

 

What was Jesus' to the woman guilty of adultery?  "I will not condemn you.  Go and THIS sin do never again!"

 

So my question to you holding the Guilt Hammer ready to rain down destruction....how guilty are YOU? 

 

 

Hold My Hand, My Child.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

 

What do you do when you get devastating news?  What do you do when things don't go as planned?  

 

We lash out!  We lash out at anyone who is close. We lash out at God because, after all, how could HE let this happen!

 

A few things to ponder:

1.  First, it's okay to be mad at God for a while. When we get mad with God and lash out at Him, His love is big enough to take it.  Nothing we say to Him will change the fact that we are His children and He loves us.  Read through the Psalms and see how David, the Beloved of God, let God know exactly what he thought of all that was happening to him.
2. Talk to God about EVERYTHING that is on your heart and mind! Everything that happens to us, God can use for our good and His glory.  And He WILL use it.  Just because we think of our situation as devastating, doesn't mean God's plans for us are finished or have become unraveled.
3. Be flexible! God's plan may include having to learn to let go of some things that might have become our focus in place of Him.  The Apostle Paul reminds us: "I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little" - Philippians 4:12
4. Don't Give Up!  Remember that God is not through with you yet!  Not by any stretch of the imagination. As long as we draw breath, God's got something for us to do.
5. Change Your Perspective!  God may have allowed this situation to happen to shake us out of our comfort zone.  Perhaps God needs to get our attention.  Perhaps He saw fit to take you out of a miserable situation.  Look at your situation from more angles than just through the eyes of hurt.

 

Struggles are never easy!  EVER!  But they come into our lives when we least need then, want them, or expect them.  We have a choice of drowning in our own depression and sorrow, or we can keep moving and let God deal with the matter.  God promised to always love us!  Even when we don't think He does. 

 

Ya'll Watch This!

I honestly expect and hope that I will never do anything to be ashamed of. Whether I live or die, I always want to be as brave as I am now and bring honor to Christ.

Philippians 1:20

If you've ever wondered whether or not God has a sense of humor, look at the actions of some of humanity.  Humans aren't exactly noted for being the brightest or the sharpest.  We may have conquered travel to the Moon, but I've seen these same brilliant people bang their face while pushing the door clearly marked "Pull."

I had a professor in college who would fill eager minds with knowledge and when each class ended he would always remind us, "You reflect what you've learned here...don't embarrass me!"  

The Apostle Paul was a very proud man.  And, by all intents and purposes, had every right to be proud.  He was a Roman Citizen. He was born into the Tribe of Benjamin which was a HUGE deal.  He was a "Hebrew among Hebrews" which meant he and his family were pretty big muckety-mucks in their society.  Paul was also circumcised on the eighth day (as prescribed by Jewish Law), notice it wasn't the 7th day or the 9th day but Paul emphasizes the 8th day!  Paul had studied the Law of Moses and because of his strict adherence to the Law, he was made a Pharisee.  All these great things, yet he wanted to make trouble for the church so off he went to destroy the church of Christ.  God had to put a stop to this less than brilliant strategy.

Now look at the Apostle Peter.  Peter was a proud man.  He had the base education required of all Jewish boys.  Peter was a fisherman by trade.  He was wise in that it takes much wisdom to know where to throw your nets in order to catch the fish you need to survive.  But Peter was also among the "Ya'll Watch This" group.  Peter fell all over himself trying to impress Jesus or trying to avoid punishment.  Read about the exploits of Peter and if you don't chuckle a few times, you're not reading it right.

We don't like being an embarrassment to those we care about.  We don't want to bring shame on our family or group of friends.  But do we bring shame to the family of Christ by our words or actions or thoughts or intentions?  Worth a think?

 

Brains.....They're Actually Useful!

And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Ephesians 4:26-27

Remember Paul and Barnabas?  They spent years traveling together taking the Gospel message of Christ to places who had never heard such news before.  Barnabas was the one who actually got Paul and the Disciples in the same place to talk, because Paul, after all, had been Saul and had been going about the countryside terrorizing and punishing Christians.  And after years on the road together, Paul and Barnabas had a rather strong disagreement (Acts 15:39).

Paul was like a snapping turtle in the regard that once he set his mind to something, nothing was going to stop him.  He was, how can I say this politely, STUBBORN and hard-headed.  Which might explain why God chose to blind Saul in order to get his attention and turn him into Paul.

Have you ever been so angry with someone that you couldn't think of anything else?  Couldn't enjoy any activities?  Turned your whole mood to that of a rabid badger in a bad mood without coffee?  So angry that you couldn't sleep which made things worse the next morning because you were still ticked off AND now you're extra irritated because you're tired.  I have.  And there was not enough coffee in the world to make it any better.

Notice that Paul reminds us to not let our anger control us.  Anger, in and of itself, is not wrong.  BUT when we choose to hang on to the anger....that is when we get into trouble.  

Try this: next time you get angry, pick up a rock and squeeze it as hard as you can.  Eventually, you will get tired of squeezing and let it go.  

We can do the same thing with our anger.  Squeeze it....look at it from every perspective.....and then ask yourself, "Is my getting angry REALLY going to resolve this issue?"  You see, anger is a reflexive reaction and is an easier response.  A proactive action would be to see a situation, accept that we don't agree with it, and make a plan to find a peaceful resolution, which makes it unpopular because we have to actually think.

Remember, God gave us brains to actually use for something other than a way to keep our ears apart!  

What If I Don't Like You?

And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”

~Mark 12:30-31

Last week we talked a little about how true love is a conscious decision and we are choose to love often in spite of each other.  Well, guess what?  Jesus teaches us what love looks like!

Jesus and I have something in common...neither of us are overly fond of "church folk."  You know the ones.  They go to lots of conferences, memorize Scripture by the book, pray in Ye Olde English because they don't think God understands the voice of our hearts, and they are very quick to tell you how you are doing life wrong (without ever looking in the mirror).  "Church Folks" almost drove me away from the church completely, until God showed me something from today's passage: When I love God with everything that I am, I understand how much He loves me, so how can I not love other people?

Now let me be VERY clear...loving others does NOT mean accepting or agreeing with their choices.  For example, I disagree with the militant vegans who will have nothing to do with anything that is not a plant, but I still love them because they are also God's children.  People disagree with the fact that I am rather unorthodox in the sharing of my faith, but they still love me anyway (I am led to believe). After all, Tootsie Rolls and other candies open doors to conversations that a Bible upside the head won't (go figure).  I am not a fan of the "christians"  who insist on yelling and screaming that I am going to Hell if I don't agree with them, but they are God's children too and deserve my love (and prayers and compassion and help if needed).

You see, Jesus didn't hide behind a pulpit, He went where the people were who needed Him.  He didn't condemn people, He loved them (even the "church folk" if you remember Nicodemus).  Jesus CHOSE to love others as much as, and even more than, Himself.  He shared wine and meals with people who the church didn't want.  He went to weddings and celebrations where the "pious" would not be caught dead attending.  He touched lepers, let a prostitute was His feet with her own tears (that's a LOT of tears).  He made friends with the rejected.  He told an adulteress that He did not condemn her as a person, but He did tell her to stop with the adultery. He that loved people!

Yet we look at someone and see what we DON'T like about them.  WE choose to be divisive! WE throw up fences!  WE stab people in the back instead of building them up! WE discourage others instead of encouraging!  WE CHOOSE TO BE JUST LIKE 'CHURCH FOLK'!  And we can CHOOSE to think differently.

Let me put it another way....I have an eclectic taste in music but I am not a fan of Country Music (sorry to all the country music fans).  BUT that doesn't mean I will not spend time with, ride with, or enjoy the company of those who like country music.  And I hope they will still love me when I listen to my classical or rock or Harry Belafonte or any of the other non-country genres on my MP3 player.

We must learn to love and care for other people as much as we care for ourselves!  One way to do that is to pray for the people we don't like!  

Buddhist student: "Master, I am discouraged."

Buddhist Master: "Then Encourage!"

You see?  Pray FOR those we don't like and we will begin to see them as God's Children too because God will remind us that people who don't like us are praying for us as well.  Make a difference and make a friend, love others as yourself by loving God above all!

So...You Like To Argue?

Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools,
    or you will become as foolish as they are.

Proverbs 26:4

Ever know anyone who enjoys arguing just for the sake of arguing?  No matter what the issue, they will take the opposite stance of everyone else, just for the sheer enjoyment of arguing.  And guess what?  We fall into their trap time after time after time.  

Let's face it, we don't like being wrong!  We don't like being anything but right! Why? Because we are just that full of......we can call it "pride" if you want, but we know what we are truly full of stinks and makes pretty good fertilizer.  Yet we will quite literally beat each other to death just to prove that we are "right."

A number of years ago, Monty Python's Flying Circus did a skit called "The Argument Clinic" that does an outstanding job of showing how arguing just for the sake of arguing is among the most idiotic exercises in futility ever. I have talked with several people who love to argue and have not been given a reason why they get so much enjoyment out of just being disagreeable.

But notice what Solomon tells us: If you engage in stupid arguments then guess what that makes you?

We need to reach the point where we are wise enough to concede that we are wrong (if we are truly in the wrong) and apologize.  BUT we also need to become wise enough to understand that not every argument is worth the fight.  Sometimes the best way to settle a petty argument is to simply smile and walk away.