Time for a Chat?

There have been times when I was tired.  Not just tired but exhausted. So exhausted that it hurt to breathe.  Not from exercise, but from dealing with the things of life.  I tried to pray but couldn't because my mind was reminding me of all that had happened which left me so soul weary.  

Finally, I said, "Abba, I just can't do it anymore."  That may not sound like much of a prayer, but it was all I could manage.  I don't remember much after that prayer except waking up the next morning feeling much stronger.  Did it change the events of my life that lead to that point?  No.  But God (two of the most wonderful words ever) filled me with His strength and peace.

In the moments where we feel drained and weakened, talk with God.
In the moments where we feel strong and energized, talk with God.
In the moments where we feel happy, talk with God.

When we make a habit of talking with God, He will do amazing things through you.

Chuck Norris Walks The Talk

But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.

James 1:22-24

I admit it, you do NOT want me as your navigator!  I am horrible about following a map.  Which is why I was SO grateful for turn by turn GPS!  I have also learned not to leave my phone unlocked on the squad room table for ANY length of time.....last time, the voice on my GPS was changed from Australian to Indian.  Threw me for a loop there.  

Think about this, God has given us a map to follow.  We can read it and say, "Wow, that's a pretty good way, but I like my own way better" or we can read it and say, "Wow, I need to keep reading this and following the directions so I don't lose my way."

I was attending a Bible Study when we read a passage, the leader asked "What does this passage say?"  Guess what?  The first person who answered merely re-read the passage to the group.  Then the Leader said, "Okay, you know how to talk the talk, but how do we apply this so that we also walk the walk."

No one cares what you say if your actions don't prove your words.  Don't just Talk the Talk!  Walk the Walk!

Performance Anxiety

Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For by the standard you judge you will be judged, and the measure you use will be the measure you receive. 

Matthew 7:1-2 

 

Have you ever considered how our society has become so competitive? We'll turn anything into a contest, won't we?  

"I can hold my breath longer than you" 

"I can spot more Buicks from out of state than you"  

"I am a better spouse than you will ever be"  

"I am a better worker than you can even consider"

 

We use our competitive nature to give reason to judge others.  Please don't misunderstand, standards are good and need to be in place, and they need to apply to everyone equally.  

 

I was talking with a friend from a previous employer last night because he was upset and needed someone he could vent to without getting into trouble.  I found one statement he made extremely poignant:  "The only time I see [my supervisor] is when I get chewed out for something."  You see, that kicked my mind into thinking mode.  How many times have I heard people tell me that their supervisor makes it a point to come tell them that they are appreciated and compliment them?

But how are we to handle people who only seem to bring negativity?  Well, there's a reason why Peter reminds us to: "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."(1 Peter 5:7).  Give this person to God EVERY SINGLE TIME they come to mind and every time they come to talk with you.  Give God the anxiety you have in dealing with them.  And here's the kicker (we've talked about this before) LEAVE it with God and let Him deal with those people.  

You see, we cannot control how someone talks to us or how they treat us; the only thing we can control is our response!

When you talk with someone, make sure when the conversation is over that each leaves with a positive result.  Make sure people know they are appreciated.

In keeping with that, I want to publicly state that I appreciate my Lieutenant, Maria Yturria for her positive attitude and calm approach.  I appreciate my Captain, Heidi Jackson, for her encouragement and for her positive attitude. I also declare my appreciation for my fellow Chaplains for their dedication, positive outlook, their willingness to work as a team for the betterment of each other and our Department.  Each of these, and so many more, have my respect, care, and love.

See?  That didn't hurt AND it's the truth!

 

What's That You Say?

Let everything you say be good

and helpful, so that your words

will be an encouragement

to those who hear them.

Ephesians 4:29

We talk too much about meaningless stuff, don't we?  And we get upset about pointless issues?  Our brains are so full of useless information that it's amazing that we can think at all anymore.

What is the longest word that, when written forward or backward, remains the same?  REDIVIDER

What is the only bird that can fly backwards? HUMMINGBIRD

You see your nose all the time, but your brain chooses to ignore it.

We like games like Trivial Pursuit and other games that contain pointless information.  Let me ask you something, when was the last time you sat down with a friend or a family member and had a deep and encouraging conversation?  When was the last time you took the time to genuinely encourage others?  

Deep discussions tend to make us uncomfortable.  It's rather like having your boss come to your office to "discuss a few things."  But they don't have to be uncomfortable.  Being honest and encouraging doesn't have to be a difficult conversation.  It only takes being brave enough to be honest...with yourself, with the person you are talking with, and with God.  Prayer is also a deep conversation with God, which is why so many don't want to pray.  We like being superficial and insincere.  But God knows us!  He knows everything about us!  Why try to hide from Him that which He already knows?  Take time this week and have a deep conversation!  

Everybody's Talking AT Me!

My dear brothers and sisters, always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants. 

James 1:19-20

 

 

You've seen the look. That glassy-eyed, glazed over stare of someone who, while sitting right in front of you, has left the chat long ago.  Why?  Is it because they're bored?  Perhaps.  Is it because they don't like you? Not necessarily.  Could it be you've been doing all the talking and not listening? Most likely.

We like to talk. We have lots to say and some of it might even be relevant. Some of the time we just talk to fill in where there might be an "awkward" silence.  But here's what I have discovered in working with people, especially couples, each person is talking AT their spouse and no one is listening.  There's no give and take in this two sided monologue.

Today's passage gives us three vital points which will benefit EVERY relationship:

FIRST, "Always be willing to LISTEN."  Notice that LISTENING comes BEFORE talking!  How can you even begin to understand what someone else is thinking unless you listen?  And if you don't understand what they are enduring, then how can you help them?

SECOND, "Slow to speak." Don't just blurt out the first thing your mind thinks!  If someone tells you their spouse gets in their face all the time so they just shut down, and the first thing out of your mouth is "Well, you don't have to put up with that.  You should just LEAVE!"  How is that helpful?  Be slow to speak. "Taste your own words before you spew them onto others."  Most arguments begin because we forget to LISTEN because we're too busy TALKING.

THIRD, "Be slow to anger."  This is probably the biggest hurdle couples face right not.  We are SO quick to get angry.  Which all comes from our desire to not listen and not thinking before we speak.

One of the tools I use in couples counseling is a simple game.  I ask one spouse to say something or ask a question to the other.  Then I ask the other what they heard.  It might be similar to what was said or it might be completely different. And herein lies the issue which leads to most arguments.

Listen, weigh your words, and learn to curb your anger.

When You Feel Lost And Alone

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.

Deuteronomy 31:8 

As you know, I like music almost as much as I love (am addicted to) coffee.  A number of years ago, and I'm dating myself here, Bob Seger performed a song called "Turn The Page" and if you listen to the lyrics it's about the lonely life of a performer.  

During the holiday season, there are many who feel lost and lonely. Matter of fact, there are those who feel that way all year around or at some point during the year. I can admit to you that I have felt that way, even when in a crowd of people.  I encourage you, if you are feeling that way, talk to someone!  

Our instinct is to merely withdraw into ourselves (especially if you are like me and are Introverted).  However, unless we talk with someone how will anyone know what's going on in our hearts?  I've said it many times before and am saying it again, if you don't tell someone how will they know?

Don't Stop!

Never stop praying.

1 Thessalonians 5:17

 

Think about the people you know.  

Think of the people you meet.  

Think about the people you like.  

Think about the people you have seen but may not know yet.  

Think about the people you know that you don't particularly like.

Think about the people who have hurt you.

Think about the people you have yet to meet.

 

Did you know we are to pray for them?  We are to pray about everything and for everyone!  Praying is a conversation with God.  When we keep the conversation ongoing, we are better able to navigate through this jungle called "life."  AND this conversation with God is to be honest, natural and real.  

 

As you are going through your day's activities, talk with God. And, no, God does NOT require that we speak to Him in King James English!  He wants us to talk to Him because we rely on Him for everything.  Everytime I see someone, especially if I am familiar with them, I talk with God about them.  Every time I go about handing out Tootsie Rolls, I am praying for each and every person.  Every time a person comes to my mind that has, or is, REALLY ticking me off, God hears about it.

 

Talk to God!  Just talk with Him.  He knows more about you that even you do, so nothing will shock Him or surprise Him.  Talk with Him and you will see your life change. 

The Rest Of The Story

The Lord our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable forever for all that he has revealed to us, so that we may obey all the terms of these instructions.

Deuteronomy 29:29 

 

I was reading an article, by one of my favorite author's, this morning and at first I didn't like his perspective, his point or his point of view.  However, the more I pondered it, the more I realized what a complete idiot I have been for so long.

 

When God is silent, I figure He either is not interested in talking with me or I've "lost my touch" so to speak.  Because sometimes, not matter how many words I use to get my point across to God, I hear only silence. But I discovered something about myself this morning....silence can be deafening.

  

One of the things the article stated was that God doesn't give us the whole story, because we could not handle it if He did.  Can you imagine if God told you how long you would live, what you would face during your life, and the exact moment and method of your passing?  I think my response would be "Okay, that's pretty horrific, so can we just go ahead and end me now?"  

 

God has knowledge that we don't need to know.  But we are stubborn little cusses who think we need to know everything about everything.  We are IDIOTS!  

 

I've shared with you before that during my quiet time, I crochet, using each stitch as a prayer.  Normally, I have no idea what design, if any, to use and I have no idea who to give it to, but God does.  And usually, when I get to the last few stitches,  God doesn't say a word, He merely puts a face in my mind and then I know.  I don't know their story and don't need to.  What I DO know is that in God's Silence, He knows who needs what and when.

God is not silent because He's ignoring us.  God's silence is protecting us because He loves us too much to tell us everything.

 

 

Inseparable!

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

~Romans 8:38-39

Ever had situations where you wondered if God even remembered your existence?  Ever felt so alone that you thought even God had abandoned you?  I have.  I admit it, I even yelled at God for leaving me to face the torments of life alone!  Even saying something to the effect of, "YOU claim that You love me!  YOU said You would be with me always!  YOU claimed that You would never leave me or turn Your back on me!  Okay Big Boy.....WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEED YOU?"

To my surprise, and annoyance, within my soul I heard God chuckle. Not in a mocking way, but the way my Grampa used to chuckle when I would tell him about my day.  It was the chuckle of infinite love.  

In THAT moment, my mind played the conversation: 

     God: "What's got you all riled up?"

     

     Me: "Can't YOU see all that I'm having to deal with?"

     God: "Yeah....I can see it.  I also can see how everything will play out.  I can also see how this will be helpful later on."

     Me: "Hang on!  If that's true, then WHY not skip to the 'helpful' part?"

     God: "Because you have to learn to trust Me through this so you can use this experience to help someone else later."

     Me: "On REALLY!  Who will I help with this chaos pulling my life apart now?"

     God: "First, let Me take care of the details.  Second, trust Me especially with the painful parts.  Third, remember that I love you.  Finally, stop trying to do MY job."

Here's what I learned through that absolute crushing period of life....God REALLY does know what He's doing.  Through the darkest and most painful parts of life, God's plan is working.  He's always, always, ALWAYS with us, loving us, caring for and about us, and, believe it or not, God is ALWAYS protecting us. 

If You Say It...Prove It!

Just say a simple, ‘Yes,’ or ‘No,’ 

Anything beyond this is from the evil one.

Matthew 5:37

Words! We use them all the time.  In fact, many of the words we speak are so automatic that they have lost most, if not all, of their meaning.  When asked "How are you doing?" our automatic response is usually "Fine."  What does that really mean?

 

We are quick to spin our words so that we appear either the "victim" or the "hero" depending on the situation.  Why? It's uncomfortable for us to actually take responsibility for our words and actions, so we seek to deflect responsibility OR we seek to gain adoration by spinning our words to make us appear more than we are.

 

Would it be nice to be able to "Say what we mean, and mean what we say"?  Want to know what's stopping us from doing just that? Look in the mirror!

 

One of the lessons that was drilled into my rock hard stubborn noggin was "If you say it, PROVE IT!"  If I said I was going to do something, I was expected (and required) to actually do it.   As a result, I have come to expect the same of others.  

 

Think about this:  

     *   How many times have I said "I'm praying for you" or "I'll pray for you"?  And was that word kept?

     *   How many times have we promised to make changes and then slip right back into our comfort zones?

 

Think of your spouse....have you ever not been honest with them?  Can you talk with them about anything and everything (even if it is painful or you know it will upset them)? 

 

Jesus tells us to keep it simple!  If you mean "Yes" then simply say "Yes."  If you mean "No" then simply say "No."  On our abundance of words or absence of words our reputations are build.

 

My mentor told me many years ago, "Words without meaning are wasted breath."  Thus, if you say it.....PROVE IT!

Courtesy of God

¹ The heavens proclaim the glory of God.
    The skies display his craftsmanship.
² Day after day they continue to speak;
    night after night they make him known.
³ They speak without a sound or word;
    their voice is never heard.
⁴ Yet their message has gone throughout the earth,
    and their words to all the world.

Psalm 19:1-4 

Have you ever seen a sunrise?  I'm not a "morning person" usually, but every once in a while I am up before the sun and get to see it rise.  That sight is amazing in its beauty! And it's courtesy of God.

Sunset is equally as breathtaking.  And there's truly nothing like a clear night where the stars stand out like lanterns and the full moon glows.  Again, courtesy of God.

And even though there are no words that can adequately describe the sights, God speaks to us through His creation as loudly as through a megaphone...but only if we are listening.  

The question I have to ask myself, and you need to ask yourself as well, are we listening to God?  

 

Words Words Words....Time to GROW UP!

It’s just the same with our tongues! It’s a small muscle, capable of great eloquence.  And do you know how many forest fires begin with a single ember from a small campfire? The tongue is a blazing fire seeking to ignite an entire world of vices. The tongue is unique among all parts of the body because it is capable of corrupting the whole body. If that were not enough, it ignites and consumes the course of creation with a fuel that originates in hell itself. James 3:5-6 

Ever had someone say something about you that really hurt?  When I was a child, I was almost always the smallest person in my class.  And, thus, almost always the target of the comments and insults children are prone so fire as a "joke."  I was told to just remember, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  

May I share a bitter truth?  That little quip I was told to remember was, and is, a LIE!  I would rather have been beaten senseless with sticks and stones than have to endure the bitter, sharp, cruel words.

Did you know that what we say can not only hurt someone's feelings, but can also damage or destroy their reputation, or worse, destroy the person's life?  Enter the internet's Social Media sites.  People take things posted on Social Media WAY too seriously.  I have to shake my head when I see some of the cruel and hurtful things posted.  I have to wonder why.  Why was it SO important to air your drama?  Was it to seek support from others who don't know (or care to know) ALL the facts?  Was it to try to get others to feel sorry for the poster (oh you poor thing)? 

My Gramma once told me, "If you wouldn't want it said about you then don't say it about anyone else."  Wise advice!  

We must be careful of what we say and to whom we say it.  Ecclesiastes 5:2 reminds us "Don’t shoot off your mouth, or speak before you think.
Don’t be too quick to tell God what you think he wants to hear.
God’s in charge, not you—the less you speak, the better."

Speak less, speak truth, speak only in love! 

 

THINK BEFORE TALKING!!!

Think before you speak,
    and be careful about what you say to God.
God is in heaven,
    and you are on the earth,
    so say only a few words to God.
The saying is true: Bad dreams come from too much worrying,
    and too many words come from foolish people.

If you make a promise to God, don’t be slow to keep it. God is not happy with fools, so give God what you promised. It is better not to promise anything than to promise something and not do it. Don’t let your words cause you to sin, and don’t say to the priest at the Temple, “I didn’t mean what I promised.” If you do, God will become angry with your words and will destroy everything you have worked for. Many useless promises are like so many dreams; they mean nothing. You should respect God.

 Ecclesiastes 5:2-7

I like to observe people.  People are fascinating to me.  Especially those who have some quirks.  But one of the quirks I have noticed becoming more and more prevalent is talking without thinking.  Let's face it, people like to talk.  Let's also face the cold hard truth that people don't like to think.  Whatever is on their mind is coming out like a bull at a rodeo!

Sadly, many of those who speak without thinking seem to be pretty proud of that fact.  One person I recently spoke with boldly told me, "I'm straight up saying what is on my mind and if people don't like it that's THEIR problem, not mine!"  Hmmmmm.......so by that logic, I can destroy someone's reputation because I say whatever is on my mind....and that's okay?  I can ruin someone's marriage because I say whatever I am thinking....and that's not MY problem?

But what we say IS our problem!  Why?  Remember the very words of Christ recorded in Matthew 7:12: "Do to others what you want them to do to you. This is the meaning of the law of Moses and the teaching of the prophets."  If you don't want it said about you, then don't say it about anyone else!!!  How difficult is that?  

God created us with a brain.  That brain is more than just a way to keep our ears apart!  That brain is to be used to think about what we are saying or doing and how that will hurt or help others.   But we like to blame everyone else when we are the ones who caused the damage because we spoke without thinking.  

Speak truth!  Not the "truth" we want others to believe, but the clear truth before God!  If you were standing before God and He would render the verdict as to the truth of your words, would your words meet HIS standard?

And yet all it takes is THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!  

Ask yourself, is what I am about to release from my mouth:

•  Helpful?
• Encouraging?
• Uplifting?
• Truth?

If not, then is shouldn't be spoken.  Remember, if you don't want it said about you.....

Let's Talk About Prayer, Shall We?

And because we are His children, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.”

Galatians 4:6

My daughter loves to talk (sorry Punkin, but it's true).  When she was a toddler, she would talk to me about every aspect of her day from the color of the bug she saw to the sound of the wind in the trees to the colors she used to draw the picture, and OH, the picture was of....  As a child, she was talkative and liked having conversations with me (I'm not much on small talk so she did most of the talking).

Have you ever listened to a child talk to their parent about something they are excited about?  Children like to talk!  It's just that simple.  And they don't hold anything back (if you're child has ever blurted out something they shouldn't have, you know what I mean).

Never once did I ever expect my daughter to come kneel before me and say, "Oh Fathah! I beseech thee to bestow upon me thy many and manifold blessings!  Look down upon me with thine goodness and mercy and givest unto me of thy bounty from whence I may partake of sustenance and behold, shalt be made full."  If she did speak to me like that, I would wonder what she had gotten into.  So why do we think this is how we should talk with God, our Heavenly Father? 

When our children talk to us, they are plain and, many times, bold! We are His children!  When we come to talk with Him, Hebrews 4:16 reminds us: "So let us come BOLDLY to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most."  We need to talk to God about everything that is on our hearts and minds!  

I've said it before and I'll say it again, READ THE PSALMS!!!  David was called, The Beloved of God, yet in some of his psalms, he was not exactly polite when talking with God!  He was plain and bold!  Are we timid with God because we think He can't handle our honesty?  Are we afraid that the same God who loves us so much that He sent His ONLY Son to pay the price for our sins, is sitting on His throne with His might stick of smiting ready to knock our block off?  If you're going to pray....then PRAY!  If you are going to be timid and fearful...you really don't know your Father very well!  Jesus called God "Abba" which means "Daddy".  The writer of Hebrews reminds us that as His children, we get to call God "Daddy".

Prayer is a conversation! So to pray is to talk with Daddy!

If You Want Someone To Know...TELL THEM!

How are they to call on one they have not believed in? And how are they to believe in one they have not heard of? And how are they to hear without someone preaching to them? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How timely is the arrival of those who proclaim the good news.” But not all have obeyed the good news, for Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed our report?” Consequently faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the preached word of Christ.

~Romans 10:14-17

 

Let me ask you something, can you read minds?  Yes, I know Moms and School Teachers seem to have that special ability.  But can we REALLY know the thoughts of others?  When I was younger, I dreamed how fun it would be to be able to read the thoughts of other people.  Then I contemplated the reactions I would get if people could truly read my mind, and my outlook on that super power changed drastically.

 

As a Chaplain, part of my job is to visit with folks who are in hospital.  But if no one tells me about those in hospital, I don't know to visit with them. I cannot tell you how many times I have been told, "How could you NOT know!"  To which my response has always been, unless someone tells me, I don't know.  

 

Here's today's nugget of wisdom, "If you want someone to know...TELL THEM!"

 

Look at today's passage.  Paul is laying out the logical argument of Christianity: How can people pray to a God they don't believe in?  How can they believe in this God if no one tells them?  How can someone tell them about God if they aren't sent to share this incredible news? 

 

I'm not a fan of yelling at people telling them to "Believe in Jesus or DIE!" Some people respond positively to such a methodology, but I'm not among them.  You see, Preaching doesn't always mean pounding a pulpit and yelling.  I have found that the most effective preaching I do is talking with people...just talking.  Now, I admit that I am usually packing Tootsie Rolls, which is also a great way to start a conversation, but just talking with people has a huge impact.

 

The point of all this is simple: People don't know unless they are told.  So.....TELL them!