What Do You Mean "Love Each Other"?

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.

John 13:34 

 

Yesterday, we talked about respect and that showing respect is, in its truest form, is an act of love.  Today, we need to talk about love....TRUE love!

 

We tend to love those who love us, don't we?  We tend NOT to love those who we don't know or who don't show us love, don't we?  Jesus told the young lawyer that the greatest commandment is "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength" and because of that, we are able to "Love your neighbor as yourself."  And we're pretty okay with that. Here, Jesus is telling us that we are to love each other in the same way that He loved us.  Now THAT is a challenge! 

 

Does Jesus REALLY expect us to love those who disagree with us?  Does Jesus REALLY expect us to love those who don't like us?  Does Jesus REALLY expect us to love those who hurt us?  

 

Well.....let me ask you this: Who did Jesus die for? 

We've Got A Problem

So God created human beings in his own image.
    In the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:27 

We have a problem!  That problem stems from our decision to withhold respect from those we believe are not deserving.  Yet we expect to be respected.  How does that work?  Why are we so stingy in showing respect, yet require others to show us respect?  For some, "respect is earned."  Really?  And how do WE earn the respect of others?

If you want to see how respect is NOT being shown, just look around.  Children mouthing off to their parents, teachers being attacked in school by students, "adults" having temper tantrums and lashing out because they didn't get their way, and the list seems endless.  So what do we do?  We start with ourselves!

My Grampa told me, "If you want respect then be respectful and respectable."  Now that sounds good on the surface, and I seldom disagreed with my Grampa on his wisdom, but the reality is...someone has to be the first to show respect.  Too many people seem to believe that showing respect for others is a sign of weakness, and they believe a lie!  

Think about it this way, look at today's verse.  We are the image of God!  He did that on purpose!  Therefore, when we fail or refuse to show respect to others, we are doing the same thing to God with our disrespect to one made in the image of God!  Now, showing respect does not mean you have to agree with the other person, but we are to show respect to those who have been made in the image of God!  Thus, if you love God, show respect to everyone made in His image!

Teach The Children Well

Teach them to your children and speak of them as you sit in your house, as you walk along the road, as you lie down, and as you get up. 

Deuteronomy 11:19 

Guess whose job it is to teach children?  Who gets to teach them respect for others?  Who is supposed to teach them about love for others?  Who is the teacher of conflict resolution to children?  Are you sitting down?  WE ARE!!!!  

I can hear it now: "I don't have kids!"  "My children are grown with children of their own." "Those aren't MY children."

I was in an electronics store recently to purchase a charger for my phone when I noticed a child about the age of 8 or 9 demanding that his father buy him a new iPad.  The father told his son that the iPad he already had was only 6 months old, to which the child screeched that this new iPad did more than his "old" one and Dad better buy it for him.  Sadly, I watched this defeated man use four credit cards to find enough credit to purchase this item his child had demanded. 

Guess what?  God didn't ask whose child they are because WE are ALL God's children!  Therefore, those who are older should teach those who are younger.  And guess what is the best teaching method for most children?  They follow the example of others!  Therefore, WE are ALL to teach children about respect for others; WE are ALL to teach children about love for others; WE are ALL to teach children about getting along with each other; WE are ALL to teach children about conflict resolution....WE are ALL to teach children!

Why?  Because if WE refuse to teach children, guess who will?  Want a hint? Turn on the television where children are in charge and parents are idiots with an open wallet. 

Performance Anxiety

Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For by the standard you judge you will be judged, and the measure you use will be the measure you receive. 

Matthew 7:1-2 

 

Have you ever considered how our society has become so competitive? We'll turn anything into a contest, won't we?  

"I can hold my breath longer than you" 

"I can spot more Buicks from out of state than you"  

"I am a better spouse than you will ever be"  

"I am a better worker than you can even consider"

 

We use our competitive nature to give reason to judge others.  Please don't misunderstand, standards are good and need to be in place, and they need to apply to everyone equally.  

 

I was talking with a friend from a previous employer last night because he was upset and needed someone he could vent to without getting into trouble.  I found one statement he made extremely poignant:  "The only time I see [my supervisor] is when I get chewed out for something."  You see, that kicked my mind into thinking mode.  How many times have I heard people tell me that their supervisor makes it a point to come tell them that they are appreciated and compliment them?

But how are we to handle people who only seem to bring negativity?  Well, there's a reason why Peter reminds us to: "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."(1 Peter 5:7).  Give this person to God EVERY SINGLE TIME they come to mind and every time they come to talk with you.  Give God the anxiety you have in dealing with them.  And here's the kicker (we've talked about this before) LEAVE it with God and let Him deal with those people.  

You see, we cannot control how someone talks to us or how they treat us; the only thing we can control is our response!

When you talk with someone, make sure when the conversation is over that each leaves with a positive result.  Make sure people know they are appreciated.

In keeping with that, I want to publicly state that I appreciate my Lieutenant, Maria Yturria for her positive attitude and calm approach.  I appreciate my Captain, Heidi Jackson, for her encouragement and for her positive attitude. I also declare my appreciation for my fellow Chaplains for their dedication, positive outlook, their willingness to work as a team for the betterment of each other and our Department.  Each of these, and so many more, have my respect, care, and love.

See?  That didn't hurt AND it's the truth!

 

This Is Going To Irritate A Few People But.....

Train children to live the right way,
    and when they are old, they will not stray from it.

Proverbs 22:6 

 

What I am about to say will most likely irritate some, but here goes.....  Children do NOT come first in the marriage. I know that isn't what we are being told, but who came first....the children or the parents?  Remember, God?  Didn't He put Adam and Eve on the Earth BEFORE their children, Cain and Abel?

 

Children learn things by watching and imitating, and they soak it all up like sponges!  Don't think so?  How many times have you seen parents portrayed in the media as idiots who teach their children bad habits or that parents answer to the children?

 

Solomon, the wisest and wealthiest person in Scripture, tells us to train children to live the right way so, when they get older, they will know the right way to live.  And just how are we to do that?  By being a living example for them!  We are to EXAMPLE that the spouse comes first in the marriage.  We must EXAMPLE the proper ways to deal with life's issues.  We must EXAMPLE life for our children.  

If we don't example respect for each other in front of our children, we shouldn't be surprised when they grow up not respecting anyone else. Think about it...

 

 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.

Romans 13:1 

 

Respect.  This is something we expect from others, require from others and even demand from others.  But do we show respect?

 

If you've watched the events of the last year, you will see great hordes of people marching, loudly demanding respect and to have their opinions heard above all others.  We have become a volatile society of knee-jerk responses to rumors or tidbits of information.  We are very quick to jump to that boat "Conclusion" and take it to the farthest extreme and demand respect, with no one listening.

 

The requirement remains, if you want respect then be respectful!  If you want to be heard also learn to be quiet and listen. 

Come Together

Remind the believers to yield to the authority of rulers and government leaders, to obey them, to be ready to do good, to speak no evil about anyone, to live in peace, and to be gentle and polite to all people.

Titus 3:1-2

I see a lot of commercials on television and hear them on the radio about companies who will for a "small fee" will check your DNA to see where your ancestors came from.  Honestly, I thought about this for a long time, then I saw how much the "small fee" turned out to be, and decided that WHERE I came from is not as important as where I AM.

We are where we are.  I'm not saying our personal ancestry is unimportant, but can you go back in time and change any part of it?  We are right HERE right NOW, so let's work on getting along and MOVE FORWARD so our ancestors can look back and see that we did the most amazing thing ever....realize that we are all human beings!

We should be ready to do GOOD to others.  Not for any reward from them, but simply because it's the right thing to do.  We should speak evil of no one.  This is a hard one to stick to, and I struggle with this sometimes, but am working on that.

Living in peace with others makes a great place for others to want to come live.  Especially when we are gentle and polite to ALL.

Ponder that for a bit.

Do We Really Prove It?

Honor everyone. Love the family of believers. 

Have respectful fear of God. 

Honor those in authority over you.

1 Peter 2:17 

Respect...we all want it.  Some even DEMAND it.  But are we willing to show it?   Some would call it "courtesy" because what was once "common courtesy" is no longer common.  But when Jesus reminded us to treat each other in the same way as we want to be treated by others, He wasn't kidding!

But prove your respect for others by your actions, rather than mere words.  Words are easy and cheap and we tend to forget many of the promises we speak ("I'm praying for you", "I'll always be there for you", "I love you").  Words are only proven by our actions! 

The word Jesus uses that is translated "Treat" is an action word.  It requires intentional and direct action!  If you want to be respected and honored, RESPECT AND HONOR others!

When I Grow Up...

Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature 

and in favor with God and all the people.

Luke 2:52 

 

 

Were you ever asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up"?  I was asked that by many people throughout my childhood.  There were even some people (my Bride) who wonder if I will ever truly grow up.  Then there were those who would always tell you to "act your age."  And there were those who would tell you, usually in exasperated tones "Just Grow Up Already".

But if you look at today's verse, you will see that Jesus already knew what His life's journey was going to entail because "Jesus grew in WISDOM and in stature and in favor and all the people."  Jesus didn't just grow up...Jesus GREW COMPLETELY! 

 How many of us can honestly say we have grown in WISDOM?  And, NO being a sarcastic smart aleck doesn't count.  Wisdom includes accepting that others will see thing differently than you.  Wisdom means you understand that the right thing to do IS the right thing to do (even if it's not popular).  Wisdom doesn't mean you can't have fun, but wisdom teaches us when to have fun and when to be serious.  Wisdom includes learning that childish tantrums do not solve problems, they create problems.

Jesus also grew in STATURE.  He grew up physically.  As a trained carpenter, He knew about hard work.  He needed to learn the skills to make all the things He built would be sturdy and of good quality.

Jesus also grew in FAVOR WITH GOD!  Yes, Jesus is God's Son, but that didn't mean He didn't have the choice to rebel.  He could have very well made the choice to go His own way and done His own thing.  After all, Satan was once one of God's most High Angels until he chose to go his own way.  But He chose to use the Wisdom He had learned to do what was right.

Jesus also grew in FAVOR WITH ALL THE PEOPLE!  Jesus was well liked.  He was respected.  Why? Most likely because He was respectful and courteous, sincere and likable.  I've met some people who acted like they hate everyone, and I've met people who were very likable.

The fact is simple: WE decide how we will grow up! 

Empowerment?

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. 

Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

Romans 12:10

I hear quite a lot about "Empowerment."  Entire seminars, programs, communities, and facilities have been dedicated to "Empowerment."  Yet, at the same time, while I'm hearing the call for "empowerment" I am seeing the need more for RESPECT to be the topic to be shared, taught, embodied and lived out.

  

You see, when we have respect for ourselves AND we also respect others, our world will become much more tolerable and tolerant.  The Apostle Paul reminds us that we shouldn't be selfish or try to impress others, instead we are to be humble (not humiliated, but humble also known as respectful!).  

Jesus, Himself, reminds us that we are to treat others as we want to be treated.  So think about how YOU want to be treated and then treat others the same way.  It's really quite simple: If you want to be respected, then BE respectful and in so doing you ARE empowered because YOU control how YOU treat OTHERS!

This means we will need to step out of the ME FIRST AND ME ONLY mentality!

I once had a professor who was to teach our class of learned imbeciles about how to help people who are hurting.  On the first day of class, he walked in an we were all talking amongst ourselves, not realizing that he had entered the room, until he raised his voice and informed us that we had just failed his course, at which point he walked out.  On the second day of class, about half of us bothered to show up and when the professor entered the class, conversation stopped and we gave him our attention.  He told us, "One of the lessons about helping people who are hurting is helping them realize that forgiveness is always an option.  And with that comes respect.  From this day on, I will treat you with the respect and forgiveness or disrespect and selfishness with which you treat me."

To be truly EMPOWERED is to have the power to show respect even if or when it is not shown to you, because YOU have that power!

UGH....Politics!

Fear God, dear child—respect your leaders;
    don’t be defiant or mutinous.
Without warning your life can turn upside down,
    and who knows how or when it might happen?

Proverbs 24:21-22 

 

Yep....it's that time again.  The gloves and muzzles come off and the mudslinging begins.  And we hear many, Many, MANY variations of "Yes, I'm awful and not very good, BUT THEY'RE WORSE!"  And then there are those who want to "speak truth" by hiding behind a mask...and we're supposed to just take their words at FACE value from a hidden FACE?

 

Let me be extremely clear: my political beliefs are mine!  I know there are those whose political views are different from mine, and I accept that.  I am not here to try to convince anyone to think as I do about politics.  I just want to ask a question: "When did being respectable get removed from the looked for qualities list?"

 

Each election we see the tantrums, we witness the disruptions, we hear the name calling, we find out the dirty laundry of the participants, and we are even beginning to hear how one candidate is the lesser of the evils running for office.  

 

Believe what you will, but know that we are commanded by the Bible, so many tout as their political source of inspiration, to RESPECT your leaders (whether you like them and agree with them or not).  We are also told over and over to PRAY for each other and to LIVE IN PEACE with each other.  My sympathy to our candidates who seem to have forgotten that, and for their supporters who embody that forgetfulness.

 

Isn't it time we return to the point where we pray for each other, our country, our leaders, and thank God for His provisions?  

What Kind of Farmer Are You?

Do not be deceived. God will not be made a fool. For a person will reap what he sows, because the person who sows to his own flesh will reap corruption from the flesh, but the one who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life from the Spirit. 

Galatians 6:7-8

I have a confession to make, I do NOT enjoy gardening in the least.  If I were the only farmer left on earth, we'd starve....that's how much I do NOT enjoy gardening.  I know there are some who find it extremely relaxing to dig in the dirt, swat the gnats, mosquitoes, and whatever other annoying bugs decide to descend upon you, and I am glad for those....I applaud them.....I thank God for these people with every salad I eat!  

Here's a rule of thumb for those who like planting and all that goes with it: "If you want oranges, plant oranges; if you want weeds, do not plant anything."  While, on the surface, this is self explanatory, but if you look beyond the surface, you will see the true meaning: 

          *     Study = Good Grades

          *     Job = paycheck

          *     Teach children respect & boundaries = Respectful & Respectable Adults

          *     Teach children responsibility = responsible adults

You see, if we choose (and YES we do choose by our actions or inaction) to do nothing, should we be surprised when we have a generation who thinks everything is owed to them?

Honestly, I take umbrage with the Halo Orange advertisements that seem to encourage parents to fear their children, while it teaches the children that THEY, not their parents, are in charge.  We've seen it for years, children are smarter than parents.  Children know better than parents.  And parents are too busy, too tired, too career focused, or to apathetic to teach their children the way they should GO!

We get what we plant! And here's another consideration, it's never too late to clear your fields and replant your garden.  

  

The Lion Roars Tonight

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8

I like to learn about animals, and the big cats have always held a fascination for me.  Take lions, for example, the male lion is referred to as "The King of the Jungle" but it is the female who does the hunting, cares for the young, and seems to have the final say in most matters.  The male lion will announce his presence with a tremendous roar but if the lioness is not in a good mood she will get in his face and roar back.  

But lions are usually pack hunters.  They will locate a herd of some tasty beast, and once everyone is in position, they will roar which startles the herd.  The startled herd will start running to escape which will reveal to the lions which are morsels are too young and slow, too old and slow, or too sick and slow.  You see, when the herd runs they are concerned only with their own safety.  There are exceptions, of course.  I saw an episode on Animal Planet where lions decided their meal was to be baby elephant, not counting on the rest of the herd standing their ground.  Let's just say, the lions didn't dine on elephant that night but had to go nurse some rather nasty bruises.

What's my point in all this babbling?  We, as humans, are prone to knee jerk responses.  We will not hesitate to throw someone under the bus to save our own hides (reputation, job, fill-in-the-blank).  We are quick to REact instead of being PROactive in planning.  True we cannot plan for every eventuality, but we can have a plan of action framework.

• Want to save your marriage? Remove the ticks and decide to love each other!
• Want to save your job? Do your best and remember that God is your true boss.
• Want a better work environment? Treat people like you want to be treated by them.
• Want a better society? Hold each person accountable for their actions and treat everyone like you want to be treated by them.
• Want respect? Be respectful AND respectable!
• Want a good reputation? Work hard, keep your word, make only the promises you will keep.

Combine all this with keeping the conversation with God ongoing and we have a PROactive plan.

In doing such things, when our enemy roars his presence, and he will, we will be like the elephants and God will cause the enemy to go home empty handed to deal with his wounds!

Let's Talk About Gratitude, Shall We?

So God expelled them from the Garden of Eden and sent them to work the ground, the same dirt out of which they’d been made. He threw them out of the garden and stationed angel-cherubim and a revolving sword of fire east of it, guarding the path to the Tree-of-Life.

Genesis 3:23-24

We like to be appreciated.  We like for our efforts to be noticed.  We like to be rewarded for doing our best.  Let's face it, go to any restaurant and the servers who truly want to a good gratuity will prove themselves worthy.  What would happen if you were only paid a gratuity based on proving your gratitude?  Some days, I would rack up...but, sadly, there would be many days I would have nothing but pocket lint.

Here's a little equation that might be helpful (yeah, and here I thought Algebra was pointless):  g*h = r 

Think about it for a moment.  It's not that difficult, Gratitude times Honor equals Respect!  But we are an ungrateful lot!  We take things for granted constantly!  We seem to have the mindset that, for some reason, we are OWED simply for existing!  Look at today's passage.  Adam and Eve took the Garden of Eden for granted!  They had THE perfect life and could do whatever they wanted EXCEPT to eat from the tree in the middle of the garden.  Had they been grateful for all that had been provided for them (and no effort from them was required), and honored God by following His SINGLE rule, the Garden would still be their dwelling place.  But they chose to be ungrateful and take all God's provisions for them for granted. 

I cannot emphasize this enough: Gratitude, Honor and Respect are CONSCIOUS DECISIONS we make every day.  Now.....also keep in mind that the opposite is also true: Ingratitude, Dishonor and Disrespect are also CONSCIOUS DECISIONS we make.  

Our words can NOT hide what is in our hearts!  We can speak the right words and get what we want from others (abusing the relationships and trusts), but eventually our actions will reveal the true person we are!  Are you truly a grateful person who honors God by respecting others and you don't have to "fake it 'til you make it"?  Or are you full of manure and you're busy trying to hide the flies?

God Don't Play!  And He holds us accountable!  Disrespect, Dishonor and an Ungrateful person will not be a happy camper!

God Don't Play!

I'm going to start by ticking some of you off, but I ask that you grit your teeth (grind them if needed) and read all the way through before calling forth the Fork & Pitchfork Brigade.

I am not a respecter of titles.  Don't care what you are called, how many degrees you have, how much education you claim, how many letters of the alphabet you have after your name, who you know, who you claim to know, what kind of clothes you have, what kind of car you drive, how much money you have, what kind of watch you wear, where you live, what your personal politics are.....I don't care!  

I don't care what color your hair is this week.  I don't care what color your skin is.  I don't care if you are tall or short or portly or thin.  

Why?  Because all of these are EXTERNALS and are not who you truly are in God's eyes!  We can easily be impressed and influenced by externals.  And we can be fooled by externals as well!

Keep this in mind: "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

God see who we truly are and loves us anyway!  Want to be truly respected? Be respectful, Be true and Be Respectable!

Think about this too: Then Peter replied, “I see very clearly that GOD SHOWS NO FAVORITISM. In every nation he accepts those who fear him and do what is right." Acts 10:34-35.  

So why do we focus so much on the irrelevant externals instead of being real, honest, true, and respectful to each other?

You see, you can fool me, but I don't count.  The one who does count is God and you can't fool Him because He doesn't show favoritism!  He loves me just as much as He loves you!

Want An Easy Life?

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. 

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. 

But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

~John 16:33 

"Why is life so hard?  Why can't it be simple?"  I have heard this, and said this, many times.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if everything in life was easy?  And I remember something my parents taught me from an early age, if it's easy it's not appreciated.  I was taught that if I wanted an allowance every week, then I had chores to do.  If I didn't do my chores, and do them well, then I would not receive the allowance.

Keeping that in mind, consider this: Jesus stated "Here on earth you WILL HAVE trials and sorrows."  There's no question about that! We are going to have struggles.  But these struggles are not meant to destroy us, but to strengthen us!  Now, there ARE people who seem to believe that they shouldn't have to do anything because they expect others to give them everything.  This is not life!  This is being a slave to convenience!

When you have a rough spot on a piece of wood, what do you do?  You use sandpaper (which is a rough surface) to smooth out the rough spot.  The friction and the scraping of one rough surface against another produces a smooth surface.  Hmmmm....."Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another" - Proverbs 27:17

Life is rough?  Good! Because if it were easy we would have no adventure.  If it were easy we wouldn't learn anything.  If it were easy, it wouldn't be a life, it would be merely an "existence."   If it were easy, we wouldn't need to turn to God.

Come To The Dark Side

Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.

~ 1 Peter 4:12-13

 

I remember seeing a documentary on salmon when I was in grade school (and we had a substitute teacher with no lesson plan).  The thing that struck me about salmon is that when it is time to spawn, they head upstream against the current, fighting to overcome the waterfalls, the bears, the fishermen, and all sorts of challenges just so they can spawn. This made me wonder, would it not have been much simpler to just find some shallow pool along the way to spawn?

 

I asked my Grampa, who was an avid fisherman, why the salmon endured all that just to spawn.  Honestly, I was expecting some of his sage wisdom like "because they are stupid" or "Bears and fishermen have to eat."  Instead, his answer made me thing even more because he said, "They do it to teach us."  I didn't understand that answer no matter how much I pondered it.  It wasn't until I was in college that the simplicity of his wisdom hit me like a speed train.  During chapel one Tuesday, the speaker said "Let's face facts, if sin wasn't easy and fun our enemy would be out of a job.  If you aren't bumping into the enemy, you are walking with the enemy."

 

This made everything pretty clear for me.  I shouldn't be surprised when I am tempted to do wrong because the temptation comes in the fact that doing wrong is easy, popular, and fun.  Doing what is right is often difficult because you are going against the popular opinion, and because it is unpopular doing what is right is not fun.  BUT doing the right thing in spite of popular opinion and personal discomfort is what God has called us to do.  God calls us to be different than the world.  God calls us to be weird like that.  

 

So......HI, My name is Paul and I rather like being weird.  Don't always get it right, but I do try and do try to learn. How about you? 

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

It is God’s will that your honorable lives should silence 

those ignorant people who make foolish accusations against you.

 For you are free, yet you are God’s slaves, 

so don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. 

Respect everyone, and love the family of believers. 

Fear God, and respect the king.

~1 Peter 2:13-17

Respect...what has happened to it?  As a Chaplain and a Minister, I have duties that are celebratory and duties that are somber, and I get to observe how respect is played out in both instances.  For example, I had the honor of conducting a funeral for a man who was, by all accounts, very respected.  Yet, at the service people arrived dressed as though their day at the lake had been interrupted by having to attend this funeral.  

Brace yourself, my inner 'Old Guy' is being released!  When I was growing up, I was taught (painfully at times) that when one enters a building, men are to remove their hat and sunglasses.  I was taught to stand when a lady comes to sit down at the table.  I was taught that, even though we celebrate the life lived, funerals are serious enough to actually come fully clothed.  I was taught to be the first to show respect to others. And most of all, I was taught to respect the flag of this country I have the privilege to inhabit.

We seem to have taken our "Land of the Free' to mean no one matters except ME! We don't show respect, we DEMAND respect to be shown to us.  And respect for our nation's flag has become more of a joke than an actuality. Does anyone else see the problem?

I was taught "Respect is the gift we give that shows others who we are."