Conflict Resolution Day

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

Romans 12:17-18 

 

Today is International Conflict Resolution Day.  If you had friends, siblings, cousins, or human contact of any sort, you are well aware that there will be conflicts.  My brother and I had MANY conflicts from "He's looking out of my window" to physical altercations.  Needless to say, our parents took a very hands on approach to our conflict resolution.  There were several times, on family vacations, when Dad would actually pull to the side of the road and run us until we were too tired to continue with our conflict.

  

For the longest time, I viewed Conflict Resolution as getting MY way because, after all, I believed it was the correct way of viewing life.  However, the older I have gotten, I have learned that Conflict Resolution is not about getting ones way, it is about resolving the conflict so that the issue is no longer an issue.  What an eye opener that has been on this journey through life!

 

Think about this, when an issue arises where the result is a conflict, it is best to consider if "getting my way" is worth destroying a friendship, marriage, family, or potential friend.  You see, when our first response is to attack with all guns blazing with the determination to utterly destroy the person with whom we are in conflict, how will we be viewed from that point onward?  As a person who is difficult; as a person who is best to avoid; as a person who does not care on iota about anyone but themselves.

 

Now think about this: We may not always agree with the way God guides our lives, should we howl and rage at Him?  Oh, He'll listen, and then, as He told Job: "Put on your adult britches and listen whilst I explain it to you."  

 

There's an old adage well worth remembering: "Before you start a war, seek to reconcile, for it is best to have a potential ally than a permanent adversary." 

 

Be Someone's Blessing

The generous will prosper;
    those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.

Proverbs 11:25 

There is nothing quite so refreshing as an ice cold drink when you are hot and sweaty.  There's nothing quite so refreshing as an encouragement when you're feeling a bit down.
There's nothing like a friend asking to spend time with you, even if you don't feel like it, because when you get together the fun and laughter is so uplifting.
There's nothing quite like being someone's encourager, friend, or refreshing them with your care.

Let's face it, today is never going to come again, so why wait?  Let's refresh others, encourage others, care about others!

Each Morning

Let me experience Your unfailing love each morning,
    for I am trusting You.
Show me where to walk,

because I long for You.

Psalm 143:8 

 

Let's take a moment to consider a few things:

     - God loves us SO MUCH that each morning, we get to see His gift of today.

     - God has NEVER let us down, so we can trust Him completely!

     - God's plans for us are so amazing that He will show us the path.

     - Because God cares SO MUCH for us, our very being craves His presence in our lives!

 

 

I Hope

For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope, because who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with endurance.

Romans 8:24-25 

 

I was talking with a friend recently, who told me that in the last 5 weeks she had lost a friend to suicide.  One of the reasons people attempt suicide is they have lost hope.  They feel as if there is no reason for them to continue existing.  Yet that is a lie we are being fed every single day!

 

You see, the English word "HOPE" conveys doubt.  "I HOPE is doesn't rain."  There is some question as to whether it will rain or not.  However, the Greek word "ELPIS" which is used in today's passage, means "Joyful & Confident Expectation."   And it's companion word in Hebrew "PATAH" means confidence, security, being without care.  In the Greek and Hebrew, the word "HOPE" does not have even the concept of doubt as part of the word.

 

So what does that mean to us?  When we HOPE in Christ, we have confidence and security that He will do as He promised.  When He said 'I will NEVER leave you or reject you' we don't have to wonder if that is true because we KNOW it is true.  And here's the Kicker...even when we don't SEE Him working in our lives, we can rest in the knowledge that He is, and THAT is HOPE.

 

Think about this, when we see someone struggling, we become that messenger of HOPE for them.  As the Apostle said in 2 Corinthians 1, "God didn't comfort us to make us comfortable, he comforts us so that we may comfort others" and THAT is one way we can become the HOPE for others. 

It's A Struggle Sometimes

Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.

John 13:35

 

Have you looked at our society today?  Have you noticed how much anger and bitterness seems to ooze from every word and glance?  Have you heard all the rage being spewed from the mouths of those who manage to get the media's attention?  

 

I can't speak for anyone except me, but I was taught to keep quiet if I had nothing nice or constructive to say. Granted, there have been times I have not lived up to that standard, but I am still trying to adhere to that teaching.  Yet if we look around us today, we hear everything BUT nice things being said....and very loudly too.  Yet Ecclesiastes reminds us that this is nothing new ("There is NOTHING new under the sun")  We seem to relish insulting, bashing and lashing out at anyone and everyone.

 

Now look at Jesus' teaching.  We prove to the world our character by our love or lack of love. What a punch to the chin that was for me when I read that this morning.  We must learn to love each other!  I came across a wonderful quote this morning from that famous philosopher Anon E. Mous: "The best love is the one that makes you a better person without changing you into someone other than yourself."  The best love brings out the best in others!

 

The more I thought about bringing out the best in others, the more I began to understand that it begins with me!  If I am not willing to love others and bring out the best in them, why would they want to do that for me?  Love begins with us! Each of us! Isn't it time to start?

 

Peace Takes Work

Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.

Hebrews 12:14-15 

 

Peace takes work!  It really does!  We have to WORK at being accepting and understanding of each other, and in so doing, we will find peace.  Living the Holy Life takes work!  We have to WORK at focusing on God and let our own ambitions and desires fall away in the process.

 

We are supposed to look after each other.  How do we do that? Encouraging each other, building each other up, making sure we treat others just like we want to be treated by them, by doing life together side-by-side...Why do we need to do that? So that the poison of bitterness will have no place to take hold!  Nothing breaks a home and family apart faster than bitterness!

 

We claim to love God and we claim to love each other, let's not just claim it, let's prove it in our lives!

Noisy?

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

1 Corinthians 13:1 

 

Okay, I must confess...I watched "Dumb and Dumber" and the odd thing is, I got an idea for this devotional from it. 

 

The Apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:1-4 that even if he had ALL the answers to ALL the questions, no one would listen if he didn't have love.  Think about it. Have you ever had someone just start preaching to you instead of listening?  Have you ever have someone try to TELL you how to deal with heartbreak instead of just sitting with you while you wept?  Have you ever had someone ignore you question so they could "witness" to you by condemning you with Scripture?

 

I took a college psychology class.  The professor wrote the book and his wife wrote the study guide...neither of which we used in class (but were required to purchase).  The professor obviously knew his subject, but he didn't seem to grasp the idea that in order to teach the subject, your information must be understandable by those you wish to teach.  This was a freshman class being taught on a doctoral level.  Needless to say, by the third class most of the students had dropped it, because the professor was just making noise to these students.

 

There's an old adage (older than me, if you can believe it) which says: "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."  And it's true! People are not idiots.  People know when you actually care about them and when you are just making noise.  Which is why I love the quote attributed to Francis of Assisi: "Preach the Gospel...and if you MUST, use words."  SHOW people that you care! Be the EXAMPLE of the Gospel instead of just telling people about it.  REFLECT the love of Christ!

 

You see, if we don't SHOW that we care, nothing we say will ever matter! 

Do You Truly Care?

This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another.

1 John 3:11 

 

Today is Valentine's Day (I hope you got something for your Valentine).  Yes, Valentine's Day is all about love, but I contend it's not just about couples rather it's about LOVE, friends included.  Let's face it, friends are friends for a reason.  But here's my question, when was the last time you let them know you appreciate and care about them?  Doesn't have to be in some "mushy" way either, just let them know they are important to you and that you care.

 

After all, Jesus reminded us that we need to love one another (the word He used was the word agapaō which means "to be fond of, to love dearly" and gives the impression of unconditional love and caring).  So.....do you care for those you call "Friend"?  How about those with whom you interact daily?  When was the last time you actually let them know?

When Will We Become United?

And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 3:27-28 

 

Why do we spend so much time and effort focusing on our differences instead of our commonalities?  

 

Didn't God create all of us in His image?

 

Yet we want to be divisive instead of uniting.  Why?

 

Yes, we do have differences, but we all share things in common.  For example, when the heart stops, we die.  Ever hear of anyone living a regular life with no heartbeat?

 

You see, the truth of Christ is simple: We are all the same in His eyes.  He died for me just like He died for you.  He never said, "I'll hang on this cross only for those who are over 6' tall with green hair" now did He?  

 

I don't care who you are, in Christ we are family (don't look so scared).

May We Be Honest?

But this is what you must do: Tell the truth to each other. Render verdicts in your courts that are just and that lead to peace.

Zechariah 8:16 

 

Have you ever had a horrible day and someone asks you how you are doing?  What answer did you give?  I'll wager the answer was "I'm good" or some derivation of that.  You see, we are willing to lie because we don't want anyone to know that we are struggling.  We want to have the appearance of being impervious.  

 

Let me plant a thought: How can anyone help you if you don't tell them what's going on?  When you go to the Doctor, do you tell the doctor "I'm okay" or do you tell the doctor what's going on so the doctor can help you?  Then why do we hide from those we know and trust?

  

If someone tells me that they trust me and then lie to me by telling me "I'm fine" when I KNOW differently (by the way they are acting) then you have just offended me.  Now, I will forgive you for offending me, but I will also remind you that I KNOW you are not "fine."

 

"Tell the TRUTH TO EACH OTHER" It doesn't get much clearer than that!  We are friends for a reason: so lift each other up, pray with and for each other, rely on each other, encourage each other, sharpen each other!

Today's Challenge....Getting Along!

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

Colossians 3:13-15 

 

Wonder what would happen if your fingers no longer liked being part of the same body as your mouth and, as a result, decided not to put food in your mouth anymore? What would be the end result?  Your body would slowly starve to death.  Now, while that is a far-fetched analogy, isn't that the same thing we do when we refuse to be part of one another?  

 

Someone says something that we don't like, or does something that offends us, and we get angry then we just ignore them (much like the fingers ignored the mouth), and what is the end result?  We are called to live in peace with one another, encouraging each other, being thankful for each other, and loving each other (sometimes in spite of each other).

Yeah, I got a whack between the eyes with this one too.  Today's challenge is to get along with others.  Talk with someone you haven't spoken to in a while because of a falling out.  Lift each other up and encourage each other.  Be thankful for each others, after all, God brought each person into our lives for a purpose.  Remember, we are ONE body!

Gluttons For Punishment?

Your kindness will reward you,
    but your cruelty will destroy you.

Proverbs 11:17 

 

Are you a driven person?  Are you the type who simply will not stop until the job is finished, regardless the cost?  Are you among those who willingly sacrifice everything, including your family and your own health, to get the job done?  Do you push yourself without letting up?  Do you find yourself anxious, frustrated, irritated, and even angry by things you cannot control?

 

You see, we ALL are like that to some degree.  We ALL have things we want to accomplish.  We ALL have dreams and goals.  We ALL push ourselves, at times, beyond the point of being healthy.

 

I was recently reminded, rather unkindly, by one of our volunteer Chaplains, who shall remain anonymous (but it "not" Chris Hutnyak), that I'm not as young as I used to be.  This Chaplain even told me that he was glad to know someone who was there when the Ark was built.  After my heart started again, I realized that he was right.  You see, I had allowed the Chaplaincy to take over my life, and I needed to be reminded that it's okay to take a vacation to prevent burnout.  Still not thrilled with the whole "there when the Ark was built" comment, but that's another point for another day.

 

How can we take care of others if we don't take care of ourselves?  We treat others with kindness, yet we punish ourselves by not stopping to take a breath or a break.  And being cruel to ourselves WILL destroy us!  How do I know?  I've already had one quadruple bypass surgery....because I didn't take time to unwind and relax and take better care of myself.

 

I heard a proverb, but I can't remember where (no cracks about age please) that said, "The unmended bucket is of no use to anyone."  Take time to take care of yourself!

Oh...I'll PRAY for you alright!!!

But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. ²⁸ Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.

Luke 6:27-28 

Ever been hurt by someone?  Ever had someone treat you like something they stepped in whilst wandering through a cow pasture?  Ever had someone stab you in the back?  Me too!

Ever stub your toe in the dark?  Did you get angry and try to destroy the thing upon which you stubbed your toe? When we are hurt, our natural response is to lash out and hurt whatever hurt us.  When someone hurts us, the only prayers we want to offer are prayers that God will rain down vengeance upon them.

But wouldn't that simply escalate the situation?  And what good comes out of escalating a bad situation?  NONE!  Jesus had a different way of thinking which goes against the grain of our natural responses most times.  Jesus teaches us to DE-Escalate situations by doing the unexpected.

I'm not about to say that it's easy to do, and I won't lie and say that I no longer struggle with this, but I'm learning.  Life here slurps swamp water at times!  But that doesn't mean we have to wallow in it either.  In John 10:10 we read "The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."  Did you catch that?  The thief represents everything that happens to us that takes our focus off of Christ!  If we allow it, the thief will destroy our lives, our relationships, everything!  BUT Christ came so that we can have a much better life because we remember whose we are! 

The Lord your God is in your midst;
he is a warrior who can deliver.
He takes great delight in you;
he renews you by his love;
he shouts for joy over you.

Zephaniah 3:17 

 

I don't know about you, but knowing that God is not only with us always, He fights for us better than anyone else could.  He's also happy that we are His and He loves us without bounds.  He even shouts for joy because He cares so much about us!

 

When was the last time you shouted for joy over someone you cared about?  Who makes you so happy that you almost can't stand not shouting it out?

 

God loves you more than we can ever imagine.  It's just that simple!

Care For Others!

“I give you a new command: Love each other. You must love each other as I have loved you. All people will know that you are my followers if you love each other.”

John 13:34-35

One of the great things about being on this earth is that we have the opportunity every day to care for others and to show it.  We show that we care in small, simple ways: Saying "Hello", holding the door open for someone else, sharing what you have with others, making the new person feel welcomed (without overwhelming them), laughing together, talking together, sharing coffee, the ways are endless.

Let's face it, Jesus commanded us that we are to love others the same way He loves us.  We are to be the reflection of His love and caring!  Sounds easy, doesn't it?  But putting it into practice is often the hardest thing we will ever do.  But we can do it.  Jesus has never commanded us to do anything that we couldn't do.  

I love this picture.  The story I found with this photo stated that these two dogs (a pitbull and a chihuahua) were found together and were adopted together because they were inseparable.  How about us?

Ummm....Yeah....Don't Care!

 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

Philippians 2:4 

 

Have you ever heard someone telling you about something that's been on their mind and you are fighting very hard to not yawn in their face because your own mind is saying, "I have my own truckload of life that I have to deal with, so why should I care about their problems? I just don't care!"?  Yep....I'm Guilty, but I'm learning.

 

I talk with people all the time.  And some of the things I'm told are awful, and the most distressing part of such conversations is that I don't always have the resources to help.  But I will listen to them, I will make inquiries to see what's available to help.  But I'm learning more and more that, while I must care for myself, I also need to care for others.

 

The excuse I have heard over and over (and have used), "I don't want to get involved!"  Then it hit me like a plane load of rocks!  If I am unwilling to help others, then why would anyone else be willing to help me?  Yes, every decision we make has consequences (good or bad) and we have to live with those consequences, but each of us has the capacity to celebrate with the person who has good consequences AND we have the capacity to help those who have to live with the bad consequences.  

 

Here's the point: Life can be an extremely harsh teacher.  So we much look to our classmates to make the lessons not so bad or twice as good.

 

"As shared joy is twice as bright; a shared burden is half as heavy." 

Come Together

Remind the believers to yield to the authority of rulers and government leaders, to obey them, to be ready to do good, to speak no evil about anyone, to live in peace, and to be gentle and polite to all people.

Titus 3:1-2

I see a lot of commercials on television and hear them on the radio about companies who will for a "small fee" will check your DNA to see where your ancestors came from.  Honestly, I thought about this for a long time, then I saw how much the "small fee" turned out to be, and decided that WHERE I came from is not as important as where I AM.

We are where we are.  I'm not saying our personal ancestry is unimportant, but can you go back in time and change any part of it?  We are right HERE right NOW, so let's work on getting along and MOVE FORWARD so our ancestors can look back and see that we did the most amazing thing ever....realize that we are all human beings!

We should be ready to do GOOD to others.  Not for any reward from them, but simply because it's the right thing to do.  We should speak evil of no one.  This is a hard one to stick to, and I struggle with this sometimes, but am working on that.

Living in peace with others makes a great place for others to want to come live.  Especially when we are gentle and polite to ALL.

Ponder that for a bit.

Meh

Anyone who knows the right thing to do, but does not do it, is sinning.

James 4:17 

The professor wrote a single word on the board.  One of his barely awake students said, "A-P-A-T-H-Y.  What's that?"  His bored classmate replied, "Who cares?"

Believe it or not, this is something that is becoming more and more prevalent.  Go to the store and the checkout person is busy talking to the co-workers, on the phone, chomping gum, anything to leave you with the impression that they don't care.  And guess what?  We give this same impression to others.  

We hide from actually doing what we agreed to do.  We just walk over things we don't want to pick up.  We do all sorts of things just because WE want or don't want to do it.  Our mentality is "Meh, who cares?"

James is reminding us that when you KNOW what is the right thing to do, and you CHOOSE not to do it, you have sinned.  "Evil will triumph when good people do nothing."  How would it feel if God decided "Meh, I don't feel like caring about you today."

So ask yourself....what DO you care about?  Do you care about the job you do? The give it your best effort.  Do you care about your relationships? Then give them your best.  Do you care? Then be the example for others.  

Just A Little...

We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.

2 Corinthians 1:8-10 

 

The night had been spent tossing and turning because my mind kept running through my calendar for the the next day to make sure I had not forgotten to enter an appointment (my mind doesn't seem to be able to keep track the way it used to). 

 

Plus, I had forgotten to pick up my prescription for sleep meds.  

 

Plus, so far this year, let's just say I am truly looking forward to 2016 being over.  

 

PLUS I still have classes to facilitate and get the needed materials together and in order.  

 

PLUS family issues to deal with.

 

PLUS I have a list of projects that need to be completed.

 

PLUS.....PLUS......PLUS......the load never seems to get lighter and the stress never seems to let up, does it?

 

It was one of those days where I realized there was not enough coffee in the Universe to give me the strength to complete everything that was staring me in the face from my calendar.

 

To say I felt more then a bit overwhelmed would be an ENORMOUS understatement!!!

 

Then today's passage was this morning's devotional, and I breathed a prayer of gratitude that even history's most energetic, stubborn, and dedicated Apostle felt overwhelmed.

 

As I sat with my coffee pondering today's passage, I couldn't help but hear the James Bond theme song in my mind along with his famous catch-phrase "shaken....not stirred."  Now, I'm no James Bond and am not a fan of martinis, but I realized that I NEEDED to be shaken in order to be stirred into action (see what I did there?).  The fact was, I had gotten complacent and had forgotten that it's okay to say "I'm sorry, I just simply cannot fit another thing into my calendar today."  It's okay to take care of myself.  It's okay to realize that I am not a superhero who can wear tights (wipe THAT image from you mind if you can) and who can swoop in to solve everyone's problems.  It's OKAY!

 

The Apostle Paul was stressed and overwhelmed to the point he thought he would die!  That is pretty overwhelmed!  Jesus even was so stressed over His upcoming trial, torture and execution that He had sweat droplets running down His face like blood.  So feeling overwhelmed is okay...we are in good company.

 

I realize this is a bit of a long read today, and I thank you for reading this far, but let me give you a few PRACTICAL ways of helping alleviate some stress:

     *    Take care of yourself.  Yes, I just punched myself in the face on that one.  If you don't take care of you, then how can you take care of others.

     *     Realize that you have only 24 hours in each day, and some of that time needs to be spent resting and sleeping.

     *     Learn to limit what you need and want to do each day.

     *     When you feel overwhelmed, don't be afraid to ask for help.  Even if it's just to unload some of the stress by talking it out.  Sometimes a different perspective can alleviate stress.

 

It's okay to be human....you are in good company! 

"If It Weren't For Them....!"

Be wise in the way you act with people who are not believers, making the most of every opportunity. When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant so you will be able to answer everyone in the way you should.

Colossians 4:5-6

I hear this, and have said this, time and time again: "If it weren't for those _______ (vindictive, fake, hypocritical, ignorant, stupid, lying, insert your own grumble) people there, I might attend that church, group, meeting, soire....  

Mohandis Gandhi was said to have stated, "I would be a Christian....if it weren't for the christians."  While we might chuckle at such a claim or perhaps be aghast by that statement, it rings so very true. Christians have a reputation for being judgmental, arrogant, hypocritical, ignorant, intolerant, fake, vindictive, and so many other things, and the sad part is, that reputation is well deserved!  We have earned that reputation!

And here's the kicker, bad reputations aren't limited to Christians!  They run the gamut of every aspect of life.  People see how we treat each other and they are either appalled or intrigued.  If they are appalled, then our reputation takes a hit.  If they are intrigued, our reputation gets a star.  But our actions MUST be genuine!

One of the things I have learned from dealing with people for most of my living years, is that you can wear a mask for a while, but masks have the tendency to slip off and your true self is revealed.  Believe it or not, we CAN change aspects of ourselves without surgery or having to purchase some "system."  It takes practice!  Want to be nicer to people, then consciously practice being nicer to people.  If you slip up, apologize and keep on practicing.

Everything we do, everything we say, every act we commit, is observed by someone and they will see when your mask slips.