Performance Anxiety

Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For by the standard you judge you will be judged, and the measure you use will be the measure you receive. 

Matthew 7:1-2 

 

Have you ever considered how our society has become so competitive? We'll turn anything into a contest, won't we?  

"I can hold my breath longer than you" 

"I can spot more Buicks from out of state than you"  

"I am a better spouse than you will ever be"  

"I am a better worker than you can even consider"

 

We use our competitive nature to give reason to judge others.  Please don't misunderstand, standards are good and need to be in place, and they need to apply to everyone equally.  

 

I was talking with a friend from a previous employer last night because he was upset and needed someone he could vent to without getting into trouble.  I found one statement he made extremely poignant:  "The only time I see [my supervisor] is when I get chewed out for something."  You see, that kicked my mind into thinking mode.  How many times have I heard people tell me that their supervisor makes it a point to come tell them that they are appreciated and compliment them?

But how are we to handle people who only seem to bring negativity?  Well, there's a reason why Peter reminds us to: "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."(1 Peter 5:7).  Give this person to God EVERY SINGLE TIME they come to mind and every time they come to talk with you.  Give God the anxiety you have in dealing with them.  And here's the kicker (we've talked about this before) LEAVE it with God and let Him deal with those people.  

You see, we cannot control how someone talks to us or how they treat us; the only thing we can control is our response!

When you talk with someone, make sure when the conversation is over that each leaves with a positive result.  Make sure people know they are appreciated.

In keeping with that, I want to publicly state that I appreciate my Lieutenant, Maria Yturria for her positive attitude and calm approach.  I appreciate my Captain, Heidi Jackson, for her encouragement and for her positive attitude. I also declare my appreciation for my fellow Chaplains for their dedication, positive outlook, their willingness to work as a team for the betterment of each other and our Department.  Each of these, and so many more, have my respect, care, and love.

See?  That didn't hurt AND it's the truth!

 

What Fruit Does Your Life Reveal?

You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?

Matthew 7:16 

If someone were to look at your life, with all its moments of caring, rebellion, joy, anger, empathy, compassion, frustration, lashing out...what fruit would they see?  You see, the way we live, the things we say, the way we interact with others all reveal the truth about us.  Are we encouraging or demeaning.  Are we grapes or thorns? Jesus reminds us that you can tell a lot about people by the "fruit" they bear.  

When I was growing up, I was told the fruit my life represented was a persimmon, (guess who told me that), and my birth stone was granite, and my birth flower was ragweed. At the time, I just chuckled along with that person on the outside while on the inside I found those statements rather hurtful.  I have gotten older (stop chuckling), and grown thicker skin, but I admit that I still struggle with being the best I can be.  I know that I mess up a lot, and hurt others.  I admit that I have been hurt by others that I once trusted.  But part of our fruit of life comes in how we handle life when the hiccups happen to us.

Let me ask you, is God ever surprised by us?  Is He surprised by the things we do?  Nope!  Not only are we unable to hide anything (and I do mean ANYTHING) from God, but He has already had a plan in place to deal with our situations since before time began.  And when we are able to rely on Him regardless what's happening in our lives, we will find His peace and contentment.  

Together We Are Stronger!

No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Philippians 3:13-14

 

When I was in the Military, we had to run every single day.  We were either marching or running wherever we had to go.  Now, let me state for the record, I do not like running.  I don't mind marching, but running is not even among my top 1 billion ideas of fun.  However, the thing about the Military is they teach TEAMWORK!  They teach reliance on your squad, your platoon, the soldier to your right and to your left.  And they were taught to rely on you.

 

Part of reinforcing that teamwork concept was the way we have to move from point A to point B.  Whenever we moved, our Sergeant would sing cadence which helped us all going in the same direction, at the same pace, and we moved as a single unit.  Those in the front would shout encouragement to those behind them.  We left as a single unit and we arrived as a single unit.

 

So do we do that with each other now?  Do we encourage one another in as we run with Christ?  Do we come alongside when someone needs some help or encouragement or a hand or do we wait for someone else to do that?  Are we going toward the same goal?  If so, how then are we running?  Together or "hope you make it by and by"?

 

We are so much stronger when we are able to put aside our petty issues and run together!  We are stronger when we complement one another!  We are stronger when we are part of one another!  Let's be STRONG and join together in this race, forgetting what has passed and focus on getting us to the goal of the calling of Christ!

 

 

 

Thankful For God's Provisions

And my God will supply your every need according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. 

Philippians 4:19 

 

Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that God provides exactly what we need at exactly the right time in exactly the right amount?  Consider that thought for a moment....I'll wait......no, seriously this is important, so please take your time.....

 

Remember the Lord's Prayer where ask God to give us our "daily bread"?  We are asking for God to provide us ONLY what we need for that day.  We don't need what God has for us tomorrow, because tomorrow is not here yet.  We don't need what God provided for us yesterday, because we can't go back to yesterday.  What we need is God's provision for TODAY!

 

Now while God has promised to "supply your every NEED" that means just that...God provides for our needs....not our wants or desires or cravings or greediness. We have this habit of taking what we WANT and convincing ourselves that we cannot function without it and then we TELL God that it is our need when it is in actuality our greed!  God does not feed our greed!  If God knows you need an automobile then be happy with His provision (because He didn't HAVE to give it to you.  He could have supplied you with a bicycle instead.), yet some insist that they NEED an expensive SUV with all the whistles and bells that cost more than most people's homes, when God may provide them with a used puddle jumper that conveys them from point A to point B.

 

You see, we must be careful about taking OUR "needs" list before God.  God supplies our NEEDS.  Again, think about this: God provides food the birds need, but He doesn't drop it in their nests.  If your need is for employment, God has provided for that need, but chances are He's not going to drop it in your lap.  If God gave everything to us on a silver platter with a velvet pillow, we would become spoiled and not appreciate His provision.

  

Let's take time to thank God for His continuing supplying of our needs.  Let us be grateful for all He has already given us and for what He has in store for us.

 

#dailythankfulchallenge

Happy Thanksgiving

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!
    Serve the Lord with gladness!
    Come into his presence with singing!

Know that the Lord, he is God!
    It is he who made us, and we are his;
    we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
    and his courts with praise!
    Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the Lord is good;
    his steadfast love endures forever,
    and his faithfulness to all generations.

Psalm 100

Happy Thanksgiving!  May God remind us of all we have to be Thankful!

#dailythankfulchallenge

Thankful For Encouragers So Much You Want To Be One?

But encourage each other every day while it is “today.” Help each other so none of you will become hardened because sin has tricked you. 

Hebrews 3:13

Have you ever had someone who had your back and was always there to encourage you?  How did that make you feel?  If you are like me, I thrive on positive encouragement!  But encouragers, believe it or not, are taken for granted sometimes.  They encourage us and we feel good, so we seek them out to get more encouragement, and we keep going back for more encouragement not realizing that we are using them has become an addiction.

We have MORE than enough critics in our lives already.  They can lead you to believe that there is nothing you can say or do that will meet their standard.  How do we deal with critics?  Critics are discouragers!  Critics are relentless in their criticisms.  Critics don't really care if they crush your spirit, as long as they can use you to make themselves feel better.  We should handle critics like this: 1) Is the criticism true?  2. If so, make adjustments.  3. If not let them have their moment and then take time to encourage yourself and others.

The best encouragement?  We are God's children!  God LOVES us far deeper than our minds can ever comprehend.  God is always with us and we are always welcome in His heart!  Take time to be thankful to God for being the ultimate encourager! 

#dailythankfulchallenge 

Be Thankful For The Small Things

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

Colossians 3:17 

Think about life for a moment.  Not the broad vision of LIFE, rather the small parts of life we often take for granted.  Like what?  How about breathing?  If you think breathing is no big thing, try not breathing and see how long before your mind is screaming "You're Right!"

You see, life is not made up of grand gestures.  Life is made up of small actions of gratitude and love.  Think about it: someone holds the door for you (they didn't HAVE to, but chose to do that small act for you), how about someone smiling and saying "hello" to you (Again, they didn't HAVE to, but chose to do that small act for you), someone lets you in line ahead of them (Again, they didn't HAVE to, but chose to do that small act for you), someone reminds you that you are appreciated (Again, they didn't HAVE to, but chose to do that small act for you).

It is the small acts of love and caring that make the biggest impacts.  Why?  A grand gesture is a "One And Done" event  (Take your certificate, medal, watch, check, and have a nice life).  Small acts build upon each other over time, and become ingrained in us to the point that we begin to share them with others whether we realize it or not.

If we are grateful for the small things in life, we will live a life of gratitude and contentment.

"Whatever you do in word or deed, do ALL for the glory of God!"

Thankful for Thinking

 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Philippians 4:8 

Did you know that everything we say and do is preceded by a thought?  Every breath and other automatic responses of our body is regulated by a thought from the limbic portion of the brain.  Then we have the part of the brain that determines what we think about and what we say and some of the more manual motor skills.  And guess from where all these thoughts are being issued?  That's right, our brain.

So, let me ask you....what do you fill your brain with?  The brain is just one of God's amazing gifts and, if used properly, can benefit all those around us.  The brain...that old grey goop that keeps our ears from slapping together.  That incredible information sponge that soaks up a lot more than we think.  Yet, what do we put into this sponge?

Look at what Paul reminds us to fill our minds with: things that are true and honorable; things that are right and pure; things that are lovely and admirable; things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Did you find anything about gossip?  How about anything about how you can get ahead in your career?  Did you see anything about lust or adultery or anything negative?  Why?  Because our thoughts are controlled by the things we fill our brains with.  Fill your mind with the positive and the things for which we should be thankful, then you will see positive people.  Fill your mind with rubbish and you will see negative people.

Thankful for such an incredible gift as a mind!  Fill it carefully!

#dailythankfulchallenge 

Thankful for Time

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
    he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Psalm 34:18 

 

I write most of these devotionals based on the things conversations with people or issues I have overheard or have experienced.  I realize that some of the situations presented will not speak to everyone and that's okay. 

Recently, I have tried to help several people process their grief.  Some have been successful and some just aren't ready to proceed.  Let me state right from the beginning, grieving is an individual process!  Each person grieves differently and each progresses at a different pace.  There are no time limits on when you are to reach the next step.  This is not a race or a graded event where the first to reach the goal wins.  Grief is an individual process.

My family has had a rough year with grief this year, and I would like to share my own process for grieving.

1.  I was angry!  I was angry at the person who had died because they died.  They wouldn't be around any longer.  I was angry with God for calling them home, I wanted more time to spend with them.  I was angry with myself for not spending more time with them.  I thought of the person as perfect, without flaws, almost angelic...especially when everyone at the funeral said such wonderful things about them, and it made me angry that such a perfect person was no longer around.

2.  I felt guilty!  I felt guilty for being angry.  I felt guilty for not spending more time with them.  I felt guilty that it was not me the God had called home.  I felt guilty for the memories where the person, in reality, wasn't the pure and perfect person I had envisioned. I felt guilty for being so selfish as to want God to bring them back so I could spend more time with them.

3.   I became depressed!  I didn't care about anything or anyone (myself included).  I had no energy.  I cried a lot.  I spent most of my days just going through the motions answering questions with a monotone monosyllabic responses.  Everything was draining for me.

4.  I began to realize that I should be grateful and thankful for the time I did get to spend with them.  I should be grateful and thankful for the wisdom I had learned from them.  I should be grateful and thankful for all the laughs, dreams, and good times we got to share.  I should be grateful and thankful to God for allowing our paths to cross just when I needed them.

Now this process took years, and I still have times when I go through the process again.  Did God and I talk through the process?  Well, let's just say at first, I did the talking telling God exactly what I thought of Him and His plan that took them from me.  As the process progressed, I began to listen more and talk less.  By the end, I was listening, remembering, celebrating and thankful to God for His gift of that person.

We must learn to be Thankful for the people God brings into our lives, even if it's for a short time, because there's a reason for that season.  Celebrate the relationships!

#dailythankfulchallenge

Thankful for the Humble

Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven.

Matthew 6:1

Whilst enjoying a nostalgic time earlier this week browsing through my High School Annuals, I began to think how much I wanted to be the best at something positive.  I wanted to be the best at something, because everyone knew those who were the best and fawned over them like groupies to a rocker.  I remember at that time how I wished I could experience that just once.

We all know folks who seek the limelight and demand attention.  They want everyone to know who they are and how wonderful they are.  Well, while they may be wonderful, Jesus tells us that their popularity will be their reward.  God looks at our intent for doing good, because popularity means nothing to Him.

Be careful of your heart's intent and be thankful that God is the one who sees our heart.  God's love for us is FAR more valuable that any horde of groupies.

 #dailythankfulchallenge

Thankful For Freedom

I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.

John 15:15 

 

I remember growing up in the church and finding out there were so many rules, regulations, and rituals that it was impossible to keep them all.  No matter how hard I tried, I just never quite measured up and that was discouraging.  Finally I reached the point where I just knew I would never be "good enough" so I just went through the motions and hoped no one noticed if I missed any of the rules, regulations or rituals.

 

Finally, as a teenager, I began skipping church as often as possible.  I had grown tired of feeling like God was sitting in His heaven just waiting to whack me on the head or drop a whale on my head for not measuring up.  The guilt was overwhelming, and let me tell you guilt is a heavy burden to lug around.  Not only that, but people are NOT afraid to add more to your burden without a thought.

 

When I got to college, I had pretty much stopped attending church, or if I did go (to keep my parents happy) I would daydream, doodle on the bulletin, bring a book to read, anything to not listen to more about the rules, regulations and rituals.  Finally, I found a book that made things a lot clearer for me.  It was by Steve Brown entitled When Being Good Isn't Good Enough.  It was in this book that I discovered that the words Jesus spoke in John 15:15 applied to me.  I was no longer His servant, but His friend.  THAT changed my entire perspective and the guilt I had carried for so long melted away.

 

We are friends of Jesus.  We are Children of the King of Kings.  We are God's adopted children.  And because of that, We are free to have a relationship with God through Christ.

And know this: Relationship is much better than Rules, Regulations and Rituals!

Be Thankful for Help

But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

Matthew 14:30 

 

I'm going to be completely honest and tell on myself...I'm one of those people who tend to keep quite a bit locked up inside even to the point where I feel overwhelmed (at which point I become irritable, and snarky).  Why? Because my mind tells me "just try harder and you can handle this."  So I will put my head down and drive on trying harder and failing miserably, so my mind reminds me what a loser I would be if I sought help and I must not be trying hard enough.

 

Ever endured that? Are you willing to admit it?  Guess what? It's okay to not be okay.  In fact, God places a stark example right in Scripture.  Peter was in a boat with the rest of the Disciples fighting a storm trying to cross over to the other side, when they saw someone walking on top of the water.  When they found out it was Jesus, Peter wanted proof, so he told Jesus that IF He was who He said He was, then let him (Peter) walk on the water to Him.  Jesus said come on, and Peter stepped out of the boat.  He got distracted by all the ruckus going on around him and started to sink.  As he was sinking (overwhelmed) he called out to Jesus for help.  And Jesus helped him.

 

Why are we so reluctant to ask for help?  Could it be our pride gets in the way?  Could it be that we're just stubborn?  Could it be that we've had it drilled into us that we are to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps and struggle through?  Could it be that we've been taught that asking for help is a sure fire sign of weakness and an inability to hack it?

 

God doesn't offer help lightly.  God put other people on this spinning mudball with us so we would not have to do everything by ourselves.  God brings us through struggles and trials so we can help others if we are willing to offer and they are willing to receive.  

 

Are you struggling with something?  It's not too late to ask for help.  In fact, asking for help might be the wisest thing you do.

 

#dailythankfulchallenge

Be Thankful For Options!

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Galatians 5:22-23

What do you do when you are faced with a person who seems to drain the joy out of your life?  Of you leave them feeling completely exhausted?  Believe it or not, there are people who want you to be their focus and no one can help them except you (so they think).  What do you do?

What do you do when you realize that the group of friends you have are creating a negative environment and you find yourself becoming judgmental, angry, and negative about pretty much everyone and everything?

Guess what?  The Bible does offer a solution to such scenarios...they are called OPTIONS! Read today's verse!  What does the Holy Spirit instill in us? LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS and SELF-CONTROL!  Does the verse indicate in any way that the Holy Spirit instills in us NEGATIVITY, ANGER, HATRED, JUDGMENTALISM?  No it doesn't.  Why?  Because such things are from the pit and smell like smoke!

Today we have the option to choose which we are going to allow to be our focus.  Yes, if you choose the Holy Spirit's offering, you will face a struggle and a battle because the pit-dweller doesn't like to lose.  But God gives us the option to choose!  Choose Well! 

#dailythankfulchallenge

Be Thankful For Difficult People?

Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.

1 Peter 3:9 

 

Ever have to deal with someone you really wish you could just make disappear?  Perhaps they are loud.  Perhaps they are vengeful.  Perhaps they are just irritating.  Maybe they want to engage you in gossip.  Or even expect you to do their work as well as your own.  Fact is, we ALL have to deal with difficult people, even Jesus (remember the guy who asked what tasks he needed to perform to get into heaven?  What about the Pharisees and Scribes?  Then how about the Disciples themselves asking who was going to sit in the places of honor in Heaven?)

 

In seminary, I read a book called "Thank You For Being Such A Pain" and I'll admit, I was skeptical about reading it, mainly because I thought I would be identified BY NAME in its description of such people.  However, the book contained insights that I have found helpful (and I need to re-read the book again).  When we deal with difficult people, we should be THANKFUL.  You heard me: THANKFUL!  

 

No I do not have mush between the ears.  We should be grateful for difficult people because they help us grow and mature and they provide us with ministry opportunities to share the LOVE of Christ!  Re-read today's Scripture...we are to return evil with good.  We are to pray for difficult people (which is difficult because difficult people tend to....well....tick us off, which is quite distracting when one is trying to pray.)  We must learn that WE are the ones who are to love God with all our heart, soul, strength, and might SO THAT we can love others as ourselves...and that includes difficult people.  Be Thankful for the chance they offer us to grow.

Thankful Thinking

If we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.

1 John 1:7

One of the greatest gifts we can give someone is ourselves.  And truly thankful people appreciate those who give that gift.  Whether as a friend, a confident, a best friend, a love, be thankful for those who share themselves with you.  Remind them that they are important to you and that you do thank God for bringing them into your life.

If we practice thankfulness to God, then we will have fellowship with each other.  Fellowship...we will become part of one another.  We will rub off on each other (don't roll your eyes).  We will share our gratitude with each other.

Here's how it starts: "If you are reading this, I am thankful to God for you.  Thank you!"  See? That didn't hurt at all.  :)

#dailythankfulchallenge

Thankful That God Rescues Us

Tell everyone who is discouraged,
    “Be strong and don't be afraid!
    God is coming to your rescue."

Isaiah 35:4

 When I was a child, I often thought of God as some superhero that would swoop in and rescue me when I wanted Him to do so.  My childlike mind could not fathom the fact that God does not need to swoop in and He certainly doesn't work on my schedule.  But as I grew older (stop laughing), it became more and more clear that God does indeed rescue us and protects us and loves us....usually in spite of ourselves and from ourselves.

When we are discouraged, and at some point we will feel discouraged, God reminds us to "BE STRONG and DON'T BE AFRAID!"  Why?  Because when we feel discouraged, our nature is to be afraid and useless and powerless....BUT GOD!  As children of God, we are not helpless, powerless, useless and have no need to fear!  Because God will take care of us AND deal with those who discourage us. 

Let's be thankful to God for His protection, love, and rescue! 

#dailythankfulchallenge

Change Your Thinking!

Let us come to him with thanksgiving.
    Let us sing psalms of praise to him.

Psalm 95:2 

What is our first reaction when things go wrong or when things just don't go our way?  We get irritated, frustrated, aggravated, grouchy, and grumpy.  We begin evaluating where and why things went wrong.  Our blood pressure increases.  Our focus becomes fixed on the issue, and God ceases to be part of the equation as far as we are concerned.  Yes, I am guilty of this too.

 

One of my Chaplaincy mentors who passed away recently, Gene Harper, told me once to focus on the good God gives and let God handle the rest.  This is a reminder I need to keep in the forefront of my thoughts, yet tend to forget with alarming regularity.  When I focus on praising God for the good He has provided, the rest dims and eventually fades into irrelevance. 

 

Take time to remember the good that God has provided and thank Him for it.

 

#dailythankfulchallenge

What Are You Thankful For?

Praise the Lord!

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
    His faithful love endures forever.

Psalm 106:1

Let me ask you a question....how thankful are you?  Are you thankful for all that God has provided you?  Are you thankful for the people He has brought into your life?  Even the people who seem to irritate you the most?  Are you thankful when things don't go the way you want?  Are you thankful for the "little" things (like breathing, seeing, hearing, speaking, thinking)?  

Here's one more question...when was the last time you told God that you are thankful for all His provisions?  When was the last time you told the people He has brought into your life that you thank God for them?  When was the last time you thanked God for His love that you have the opportunity to share?

November is the month with Thanksgiving.  That time of year where we eat more than we should, watch football until we drift off to sleep, then we wake up and eat some more.  

My challenge to you and to me...for each day of November, write down something or someone you thankful to God for and then tell God how thankful you are.  If it is a person, tell them that you are grateful that God has brought them into your life.  

#dailythankfulchallenge

  

God Hears Before We Speak

May my spoken words and unspoken thoughts be pleasing even to you, 

O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14 

 

Did you know that God is the God of Encouragement?  Think about how many times Scripture reminds us to take care in what we think and what we say.  Why? Because what we say comes from what we think.  

 

Bearing that in mind, before we speak ask yourself if God will be honored by what you say, and how you say it?  How would WE feel if the same was said to us in the same manner we say it to others?  Are our words and thoughts encouraging and uplifting of others or do they discourage and belittle others?  And if our words are discouraging, are we strong enough to apologize for speaking them?

 

It's easy to become frustrated and vent without thinking first.  I'm guilty of that at times.  But I have also learned, and am still learning, to apologize if my words have offended someone or have been less than uplifting.   Think about the last time you snapped at someone...why was that?  Was God honored by it?  Or were your words discouraging (if they were spoken to you, how would you feel)?

 

God reminds us over and over to be encouraging of each other, to have unity of mind and heart, to build each other up.  Why?  Because the world will tear us down without batting an eye.  Yes, it takes effort and focused thought to be encouraging and to build someone up (sincerely).  Tearing people down just means the mind is in neutral or in a place it shouldn't be.

 

When I was in the Army, my Sergeant would remind us every day: "My job is to make YOU look good!  Because when YOU look good....I look good!"  If you look as good as those you have spoken to, how good would you look?

 

There is a Russian proverb that says: "Taste your words carefully before you spit them out!"

Let our words and our thoughts be focused on God so that we may be encouraging and building up!