"Do Not Be Like Them"

⁷When you pray, don’t babble on and on as the Gentiles do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. ⁸ Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!
Matthew 6:7-8 

Jesus was a nonconformist, did you realize that?  His talk on the mount is an eye-opener to those who have chained themselves to the rules and regulation of religion and call it "Faith."  Let me ask you something, and think hard about it, what denomination was Jesus?  Was He Pentecostal?  Was He Methodist?  Was He Baptist?  Was He Episcopalian?

Remember when Elijah confronted Jezebel's priests of Baal?  They kept "praying" louder and louder and even began cutting themselves trying to get a response out of Baal.  Is that what we have to do for God to hear us?  Jesus' own words in verse 7 remind us that repetition does not constitute prayer!  In fact, Jesus outright tells us NOT to be like those who believe repetition and prattling on and on is the way to get God's attention.  He said, "Don't be like them!"

To Jesus, the simple fact of the matter is God wants us to have a relationship with Him, not a "religion."  Jesus reminds us several times that God already knows what we need before we even ask, because He loves us that much.  And since God loves us so much, doesn't it make sense that God wants a relationship with us?  Ponder that for a bit whilst I go get more coffee. 

Friend Factor

Jesus replied, "This is the deed God requires - to believe in [cleave to, trust, rely on, have faith in, lean on] Him whom He has sent."

John 6:29

 

What does it mean to "Believe"?  If you're like me, you want some sort of system to believe in Christ.  But systems are for computers, robots, and sales gimmicks!  I've never understood how adding a conditioner to a shampoo offer suddenly makes is a "system" where you are charged more.  Sorry, slight distraction there.  Systems are not for people.  

 

Believing is not a system...it's a RELATIONSHIP! In order to have a relationship with Jesus, you must stay close to Him.  Look at it this way, how do you have and maintain your relationships?  You spend time with them?  Talk with them? Listen to them? Care about them?  The same is true when you want to develop a relationship with Jesus.  Let's face it, He knows you better than you know you, and He loves you anyway.

 

Spend time reading about Jesus. Spend time talking with and listening to Him.  Just like any other relationship you have to give time to it; you have to exclude some things; but the closer your relationship becomes the less that will matter.  Simply stay close to Him and the relationship will grow! 

We LOVE A Fight!

Starting a quarrel is like a leak in a dam,
    so stop it before a fight breaks out.

Proverbs 17:14 

 

We love a fight don't we?  We watch them on television. Some place wagers on the outcome. When I was in school, a disagreement would very quickly explode into a fight the outcome would settle the disagreement.  We love a good fight even when it's staged, like 'rasslin'. But think about how much we love a fight and love to fight.

 

Don't believe it?  EVERY love based relationship has fights.  However, we have to decide what kind of fight we are going to engage:

 

We can fight ABOUT things that really don't matter (because the Pit Dweller loves it when we fight about the trivial). When we fight about the things that, in all reality, aren't important, what purpose does that serve?  Before engaging in a fight ABOUT something, consider this: "If I die right after winning this fight, what difference will it make?"  Yet fighting each other ABOUT trivial things seems to be our first instinct.  We would rather prove that we are the one who is "right" regardless the cost to our relationship than to take the time to simply talk it out calmly and even agree to disagree.

 

Instead of fighting ABOUT things that really don't matter, what if we spent our energy and effort fighting FOR the relationship?  God tells us over and over that we are to love each other, and every relationship based on love (yes friendships are included, like it or not) are worth fighting for.  When Jesus took all the cruelty that we could inflict on Him, He was fighting FOR us because of His love for us.  When we fight FOR the relationship, we are fighting a common foe who is attempting to destroy the relationship.

 

The best fight of all eternity has already been settled when Jesus defeated the Pit Dweller by rising from the grave FOR us.  

How Contagious Are You?

I want you to show love,
    not offer sacrifices.
I want you to know me
    more than I want burnt offerings.

Hosea 6:6 

 

Kindness really IS contagious!  Think for a moment how contagious are you?  Do you exude kindness?  Look carefully at today's verse.  God is telling us that He wants our relationship, not our "holy acts."  Let's face is, how easy is it to make offerings yet still ignore that person who may be shy?  How easy is it to drop a few bucks in the plate once in a while, yet still not give a second thought to the grumpy coworker who might just need someone to listen?

 

You see, relationships take time and effort.  They tend to start slowly and increase in depth over time.  But how good are we at building relationships?  Especially with people we might not consider "worthy" of our time and effort.  What if God took the attitude that He would only want relationships with those He deemed "worthy" of His time and effort?

 

But God is LOVE!  And kindness is a result of love!  Since God wants to have relationships with us, who are we to judge others as to their worthiness for a relationship with us?

Where Is Your Hope?

You must return to your God;
    love him, do what is just,
    and always trust in him as your God.

Hosea 12:6 

 

I remember reading about the travels of Christopher Columbus when he crossed the Atlantic in 1492.  This was at a time when many of the ships would always keep land in sight so they didn't get lost, and here's Christopher Columbus sailing off into the unknown our of the sight of land and had no idea how long it would be before they would find land, fall off the edge of the earth, or have to turn back due to a lack of supplies.

 

The thing that kept the sailors and Christopher Columbus grounded was their faith in God.  They prayed daily that they would find land.  And eventually, their prayers were answered.

 

Do we pray with that same fervor?  Or do we occasionally toss up a "thank you for today Lord"?  We are to put our trust in God, but how can you trust someone you haven't taken the time to get to know?  How can you trust God when He's just some ethereal entity we say "thanks" to once in a while?

 

God WANTS to have a relationship with us!  When we come to Him with all that we have on our hearts and minds, God acts!  He never fails!

Thankful For Freedom

I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.

John 15:15 

 

I remember growing up in the church and finding out there were so many rules, regulations, and rituals that it was impossible to keep them all.  No matter how hard I tried, I just never quite measured up and that was discouraging.  Finally I reached the point where I just knew I would never be "good enough" so I just went through the motions and hoped no one noticed if I missed any of the rules, regulations or rituals.

 

Finally, as a teenager, I began skipping church as often as possible.  I had grown tired of feeling like God was sitting in His heaven just waiting to whack me on the head or drop a whale on my head for not measuring up.  The guilt was overwhelming, and let me tell you guilt is a heavy burden to lug around.  Not only that, but people are NOT afraid to add more to your burden without a thought.

 

When I got to college, I had pretty much stopped attending church, or if I did go (to keep my parents happy) I would daydream, doodle on the bulletin, bring a book to read, anything to not listen to more about the rules, regulations and rituals.  Finally, I found a book that made things a lot clearer for me.  It was by Steve Brown entitled When Being Good Isn't Good Enough.  It was in this book that I discovered that the words Jesus spoke in John 15:15 applied to me.  I was no longer His servant, but His friend.  THAT changed my entire perspective and the guilt I had carried for so long melted away.

 

We are friends of Jesus.  We are Children of the King of Kings.  We are God's adopted children.  And because of that, We are free to have a relationship with God through Christ.

And know this: Relationship is much better than Rules, Regulations and Rituals!

To Have A Friend Is To BE A Friend

Can two people walk together
    without agreeing on the direction?

Amos 3:3 

How do you chose your friends?  Are they TRUE friends or simply people you know? Are they wise and, thus, share their wisdom with you?  Will your friends pray with you and for you?  Will they encourage you to strive to improve or do they criticize you and put you down?

True friends WANT you to succeed just as you want them to succeed.  True friends won't always agree with you.  True friends are willing to tell you when you are about to do something stupid.  True friends laugh together.  True friends grieve together (though in their own way).  The fact of the matter is that TRUE friends are difficult for us to find these days because it is a relationship we must nurture so it will grow strong.

Benjamin Franklin is credited with saying: "If you wish to have a friend, you must BE a friend."  Are we willing to take the time to grow such a relationship?  It takes effort.  It takes patience.  And it may turn out that the friend you need is the unexpected person God brings into your life at just the right time. 

Relating to the Relatable

Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:33 

 

Guess who is the one person who can tick you off the most and the quickest?  Before you answer, go to another room (alone) and close the door (and a lock would not be amiss).  The answer is: Your Spouse!  That's right (you can breathe again), your spouse is the one person who can tick you off the most and the quickest!  Why?  Because your spouse knows you better than any other person and they know what your hot buttons are.  So when (yes when) disagreements arise, we have a choice to work it out or walk away.

 

So how do we make our relationships stronger and more peaceful?  Good question!  Actually, this is one of the questions I am asked most often and here's a little secret....I'm still figuring it out too.  But let me share with you a few of the insights I have learned, granted still working on them, but have recognized they are needed.

 

     1.  In order for a relationship to work, each must be relatable. This means you must accept that neither of you is perfect, never have been and never will be, and accept that relationships are not always going to be fun.

     2.  Relationships will take work!  If you ever reach the point where your relationship seems like it's on cruise control and you spend more time doing your own thing than you do with each other...

     3.  Leave work at work!  Bringing work home (especially the work attitude), is never a good idea!  However, when something happens at work that you are either proud of or has irritated you, set 15 minutes aside to talk about it and then send it away from Family Time.

     4.  Date each other!  Put it on your calendar like every other appointment!  

     5.  Allow each spouse a few minutes upon their arrival home from work to decompress, change clothes, and refocus their thoughts and mindset on family.

     6.  Respect and Trust each other!  "Let each man love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." - Ephesians 5:33.  Treat each other in the same way you want to be treated....sound familiar?

     7.   When you have a disagreement, remain calm and discuss it.  Turning a discussion into a shouting match only escalates the situation which leads to slamming of doors, drawers, family gene pool being called into question, and many other ill-mannered events.  And here's the kicker:  DO NOT BE AFRAID TO APOLOGIZE!  

     8.  Laugh together.  Laugh at yourself too.  Let's face it, we can do some really idiotic things sometimes.  Don't be offended or afraid to laugh about it.

     9.  Physically touch each other no fewer than 10 times each day.  Physical touch is healing and healthy.  So hug, hold hands, kiss, cuddle, touch hands in passing....at least 10 touches a day. I know this is difficult for those who are not "touchy feely" types, but it works.

     10.  Be grateful to and for your spouse, their efforts, their accomplishments, their care for you, for who they are....

 

Matthew 22:36-40:

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

³⁷ Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

It's All About Relationship

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Hebrews 10:24-25

Part of my job is to provide a bit of perspective and offer things to be pondered.  Today is no exception.

Consider this for a moment, whilst you await the coffee to take hold: We are, by nature, social beings.  We thrive on relationships.  We seek out relationships.  And, if we are smart, we build lasting relationships.

We have relationships with our families.  We have relationships with our friends.  We have relationships with our co-workers.  We have relationships with the people who help us in stores and shops and the mechanic and the postal delivery person and the person who delivers your packages and even your neighbors.  We NEED relationships.  And the better the relationship the stronger it will become.  

One of the most enjoyable parts of my job is that I get to watch the interactions between Law Enforcement and the Communities.  Let me just say this, the deputies who have invested the time and effort to build a relationship of mutual respect and trust with the communities have seem to have fewer issues to deal with within their communities.  Why? Because the community members are willing to help the deputies keep their communities safe!

So to all newer deputies, invest the time and effort to cultivate and build relationships.

And on a little different front, I hear churches wonder why church membership is not growing as quickly as they would like.  I have a perspective on that as well: reach outside the walls and build relationships.  Don't start with "ARE YOU SAVED?".  Let's face it, you don't drop a seed in the ground and expect an apple tree to throw dirt clods so it can grow and apples to appear.  Each relationship must be planted, cultivated, nurtured and built.  And as a result, others will see the relationship and become interested.  People will want to know why your relationships are so strong and long lasting and close!  Why are you willing to do for others when there is no benefit to yourself?  Why are you accepting of people who have done life wrong for so many years?  Why are you different? (I'm not different, I prefer the term "odd" or "weird."  I'm not wealthy enough to be "eccentric.").

Think about it!  Motivate each other to relationships and you will begin to see a change for the better.

Long Roots

But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.

Jeremiah 17:7-8

 When water is hard to find, most vegetation and people will die.  However, some will adapt to the environment.  In the Yucatan Peninsula, for example, there are some holes in the ground where the limestone surface has collapsed and the water that is deep underground is revealed (they are called cenotes) and the trees have adapted to this by growing extended roots to reach the water.

Keep this image in mind as you read today's passage again slowly.  Trees with roots willing to reach the water will survive pretty much any situation.  Which begs the question: How deep are your roots?

 

There's A Time To Stop Talking And Listen

Those who answer before they listen
    are foolish and disgraceful.

Proverbs 18:13 

 

I can pretty much guarantee that 90% or more of all arguments are because we are bound and determined that we are right and they are wrong and we aren't about to change our mind.  It's called STUBBORN!  It's called MULEHEADED!  It's called IDIOCY!

 

And I can also guarantee that most of the time when we argue we aren't evening listening to what the other person is saying because we are too busy thinking of a retort that will hurt them and, hopefully, shut them down.  And then we are surprised when we lose that friend or we finally end up just existing without speaking with one another.

 

One of the keys to a successful relationship, marriage, or friendship is the one thing we seem to be SO resistant to do....LISTEN!  

 

Here are a few things that happen when you truly listen:

   *  You will learn the other person's point of view.

   *  You may discover that your perception is wrong (in which case your apology is in order).

   *  You both can formulate a plan to resolve the issue.

   *  You learn to respect each other more.

   *  You show your truly appreciate the other person.

   *  You can learn something you never knew before.

 

If you want your relationships to work, have a free unhindered dialogue which begins with you LISTENING. 

Trust Issues?

The Lord is good,
    a strong refuge when trouble comes.
    He is close to those who trust in him.

Nahum 1:7

Is it easy to trust?  I have the honor to work with Law Enforcement Officers (and am grateful for them EVERY DAY), and I can tell you...Cops are NOT among the most trusting of people.  Matter of fact, most people I know have been burned by trusting too quickly. 

Think about this: You don't go buy a surfboard and just dash off to go surfing.  In order to surf, you start small, practice a lot, and trust your new skills a little bit at a time. You will have some setbacks, but you keep at it and you will eventually have the trust and confidence to do amazing things on a surfboard.

Now....consider trusting people.  Think about your best friend.  Did you just pick someone at random, trust them completely, and have never looked back?  I doubt it.  Trust is built over time.  But here's the kicker: Trust can only grow by trusting!

Ponder one more: Do you trust God?  He's been around a LONG time.  He knows more about you than you are willing to admit or that you may even know about yourself.  As a matter of fact, God knows your every thought before you think it.  And He loves you anyway.  He is always with us, even when we don't think He is.  One more thing, If God wasn't trustworthy then you wouldn't be reading this because He wouldn't bother to keep you around, but since He loves you so much that He wants you to trust Him...you are here, right not, reading this.

Trust grows by trusting!  

Let's Talk For A Moment

Always be joyful. 
Never stop praying. 
Be thankful in all circumstances, 
for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Let's talk about the 800 pound gorilla in the room, shall we?  When we tell someone that we are praying for them, do we or are we just saying we will OR are we saying it because it's been so long since you actually talked with God that you have forgotten who He is?

Let's start at the top...Paul tells us to be "Joyful."  There is a HUGE difference between being "joyful" and being "happy" and we seem to have them confused.  You see "JOYFUL" is a conscious decision that we make because of, or even in spite of, our circumstances, predicaments, situations, or feelings.  On the other hand "Happy" is momentary, fleeting, situational, and is a feeling which is subject to change at a moment's notice.  Hmmmm......

Next Paul reminds us to "Never stop praying."  This does not mean you quit your job, wander off to some monastic facility in the mountains and live the rest of your life as a hermit talking only to God.  Let's say your best friend calls; you answer the phone without looking at the caller ID; how do you know it's your best friend? Because you know the voice!  And how did they become your best friend? Because you invested yourself into each other's lives, learning to trust each other and keep no secrets from each other...you can talk about anything and everything.  Hmmmm.... When we develop that kind of relationship with God, you have the best possible best friend EVER!  Have I achieved that status? No, but I'm still talking to Him and we have lots of conversations about....well, YOU!

Finally, Paul reminds us to "Be Thankful In ALL Circumstances."  Here's a little tidbit for the mind to chew on today: Circumstances change! Gratitude for who God is doesn't! We make the choice many times every single day: Either we determine to maintain our attitude of gratitude OR we let our circumstances decide for us if we are going to be grateful or ticked off.  

There's a lot going on in these few brief words of today's passage.  Talking with God and developing that relationship that is beyond description should cause us to be eternally grateful REGARDLESS of our circumstances.  But the 800 pound gorilla in the room is this: What will you decide and when are you going to start?