Why Be Pushy?

As a child, I was not a fan of green veggies.  To be honest, I'm still not a fan of most of them, but I have made some progress.  I remember my Mom doing her best to force me to eat my broccoli with little success.  She would make me sit at the table with no dessert until I ate my broccoli.  And wait I did.  I once sat at that table from lunch until supper because I disliked broccoli that much.  Oh, Mom tried to make it more appealing by smothering it with cheese sauce, chopping it up very fine and sneaking it into a chicken pot pie.  I was just adamant about not eating broccoli!  My bride will tell you that I STILL don't like it and won't eat it.

Where am I going with this?  Well, it may be a bit of a stretch, but if you will allow me some license, you will see.  Believe it or not, there are people who want to hear the Gospel message about as much as I wanted to consume broccoli.  And there are also people who are so determined to get nonbelievers to believe that they will go about presenting the Gospel pretty much the same way my Mom tried to get me to eat broccoli.  This conflict gives believers a bad reputation, "Don't shove your religion down my throat!" "If I wanted to hear your judgmentalisms I'd join your church!" and other such expressions are what we hear.

Remember what Jesus said in the "Great Commission"?  Did Jesus say for us to force the message on others?  Did Jesus say to tell people "You're going to HELL unless you believe"?  No!  What Jesus said was "Go into all the World and make disciples!"  We are to share the message!  THAT is our responsibility!  Not force it on others....not judging others.....not condemning others. 

So how do we do that?  Simple: Let every person you meet be a NEW person in your mind.  You see, Jesus built relationships and in those relationships He shared the message of truth.  He didn't force it on anyone!  He shared through relationships  Also: We have got to resist the urge to "hammer it home."  When we are tempted to become aggressive with the message of salvation...the message is no longer the "Good News" rather it become the "Aggressive Argument."  Remember, what Paul said in Romans 14:4 - They are God’s servants, not yours. They are responsible to Him, not to you. Our job is not to try to BE God!  Our job is to present the information through building relationships!

One final point: In building relationships, we are to BE the example of Christ we want others to see. 

What's The Point?

Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher,
    vanity of vanities! All is vanity.
What does man gain by all the toil
    at which he toils under the sun?

Ecclesiastes 1:2-3

 

It was one of those days when my contemplations took a dark turn, when I began to ponder "What's the point of it all?".  Let's face it, we work hard all of our lives, often sacrificing our dreams, and for what? So we can live our lives stuck in a rut and leave everything we have struggled for to the next generation?

 

I remembered the scene from "Forrest Gump" where Forrest ran back into the jungle multiple times, rescuing his comrades, so he could find his best friend.  The cynical part of me asked, "What's the point? He's going to die anyway."  We make friends, cultivate relationships, and for what reason?

 

Then, I other questions started circulating in my mind.  What if Adam had never shared the secrets of farming with anyone?  How would the next generation have food? What if we chose to look out ONLY for ourselves?  What if we chose not to cultivate relationships with each other?  How would the human race continue? 

 

Here's my point:  We were not put on this Earth to be alone or to be hopeless or to be solitary.  God could easily not created us at all or just stopped at one, but He chose to create us for relationships and interactions!  In those interactions and relationships we find hope!  Place your hope in God, and your relationships will become MORE meaningful!

 

What's the point? To Love God with all our heart, mind, body and strength, and to love others as we love ourselves! 

 

 

 

Relating to the Relatable

Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:33 

 

Guess who is the one person who can tick you off the most and the quickest?  Before you answer, go to another room (alone) and close the door (and a lock would not be amiss).  The answer is: Your Spouse!  That's right (you can breathe again), your spouse is the one person who can tick you off the most and the quickest!  Why?  Because your spouse knows you better than any other person and they know what your hot buttons are.  So when (yes when) disagreements arise, we have a choice to work it out or walk away.

 

So how do we make our relationships stronger and more peaceful?  Good question!  Actually, this is one of the questions I am asked most often and here's a little secret....I'm still figuring it out too.  But let me share with you a few of the insights I have learned, granted still working on them, but have recognized they are needed.

 

     1.  In order for a relationship to work, each must be relatable. This means you must accept that neither of you is perfect, never have been and never will be, and accept that relationships are not always going to be fun.

     2.  Relationships will take work!  If you ever reach the point where your relationship seems like it's on cruise control and you spend more time doing your own thing than you do with each other...

     3.  Leave work at work!  Bringing work home (especially the work attitude), is never a good idea!  However, when something happens at work that you are either proud of or has irritated you, set 15 minutes aside to talk about it and then send it away from Family Time.

     4.  Date each other!  Put it on your calendar like every other appointment!  

     5.  Allow each spouse a few minutes upon their arrival home from work to decompress, change clothes, and refocus their thoughts and mindset on family.

     6.  Respect and Trust each other!  "Let each man love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." - Ephesians 5:33.  Treat each other in the same way you want to be treated....sound familiar?

     7.   When you have a disagreement, remain calm and discuss it.  Turning a discussion into a shouting match only escalates the situation which leads to slamming of doors, drawers, family gene pool being called into question, and many other ill-mannered events.  And here's the kicker:  DO NOT BE AFRAID TO APOLOGIZE!  

     8.  Laugh together.  Laugh at yourself too.  Let's face it, we can do some really idiotic things sometimes.  Don't be offended or afraid to laugh about it.

     9.  Physically touch each other no fewer than 10 times each day.  Physical touch is healing and healthy.  So hug, hold hands, kiss, cuddle, touch hands in passing....at least 10 touches a day. I know this is difficult for those who are not "touchy feely" types, but it works.

     10.  Be grateful to and for your spouse, their efforts, their accomplishments, their care for you, for who they are....

 

Matthew 22:36-40:

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

³⁷ Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

It's All About Relationship

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Hebrews 10:24-25

Part of my job is to provide a bit of perspective and offer things to be pondered.  Today is no exception.

Consider this for a moment, whilst you await the coffee to take hold: We are, by nature, social beings.  We thrive on relationships.  We seek out relationships.  And, if we are smart, we build lasting relationships.

We have relationships with our families.  We have relationships with our friends.  We have relationships with our co-workers.  We have relationships with the people who help us in stores and shops and the mechanic and the postal delivery person and the person who delivers your packages and even your neighbors.  We NEED relationships.  And the better the relationship the stronger it will become.  

One of the most enjoyable parts of my job is that I get to watch the interactions between Law Enforcement and the Communities.  Let me just say this, the deputies who have invested the time and effort to build a relationship of mutual respect and trust with the communities have seem to have fewer issues to deal with within their communities.  Why? Because the community members are willing to help the deputies keep their communities safe!

So to all newer deputies, invest the time and effort to cultivate and build relationships.

And on a little different front, I hear churches wonder why church membership is not growing as quickly as they would like.  I have a perspective on that as well: reach outside the walls and build relationships.  Don't start with "ARE YOU SAVED?".  Let's face it, you don't drop a seed in the ground and expect an apple tree to throw dirt clods so it can grow and apples to appear.  Each relationship must be planted, cultivated, nurtured and built.  And as a result, others will see the relationship and become interested.  People will want to know why your relationships are so strong and long lasting and close!  Why are you willing to do for others when there is no benefit to yourself?  Why are you accepting of people who have done life wrong for so many years?  Why are you different? (I'm not different, I prefer the term "odd" or "weird."  I'm not wealthy enough to be "eccentric.").

Think about it!  Motivate each other to relationships and you will begin to see a change for the better.

There's A Time To Stop Talking And Listen

Those who answer before they listen
    are foolish and disgraceful.

Proverbs 18:13 

 

I can pretty much guarantee that 90% or more of all arguments are because we are bound and determined that we are right and they are wrong and we aren't about to change our mind.  It's called STUBBORN!  It's called MULEHEADED!  It's called IDIOCY!

 

And I can also guarantee that most of the time when we argue we aren't evening listening to what the other person is saying because we are too busy thinking of a retort that will hurt them and, hopefully, shut them down.  And then we are surprised when we lose that friend or we finally end up just existing without speaking with one another.

 

One of the keys to a successful relationship, marriage, or friendship is the one thing we seem to be SO resistant to do....LISTEN!  

 

Here are a few things that happen when you truly listen:

   *  You will learn the other person's point of view.

   *  You may discover that your perception is wrong (in which case your apology is in order).

   *  You both can formulate a plan to resolve the issue.

   *  You learn to respect each other more.

   *  You show your truly appreciate the other person.

   *  You can learn something you never knew before.

 

If you want your relationships to work, have a free unhindered dialogue which begins with you LISTENING. 

Let's Talk For A Moment

Always be joyful. 
Never stop praying. 
Be thankful in all circumstances, 
for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Let's talk about the 800 pound gorilla in the room, shall we?  When we tell someone that we are praying for them, do we or are we just saying we will OR are we saying it because it's been so long since you actually talked with God that you have forgotten who He is?

Let's start at the top...Paul tells us to be "Joyful."  There is a HUGE difference between being "joyful" and being "happy" and we seem to have them confused.  You see "JOYFUL" is a conscious decision that we make because of, or even in spite of, our circumstances, predicaments, situations, or feelings.  On the other hand "Happy" is momentary, fleeting, situational, and is a feeling which is subject to change at a moment's notice.  Hmmmm......

Next Paul reminds us to "Never stop praying."  This does not mean you quit your job, wander off to some monastic facility in the mountains and live the rest of your life as a hermit talking only to God.  Let's say your best friend calls; you answer the phone without looking at the caller ID; how do you know it's your best friend? Because you know the voice!  And how did they become your best friend? Because you invested yourself into each other's lives, learning to trust each other and keep no secrets from each other...you can talk about anything and everything.  Hmmmm.... When we develop that kind of relationship with God, you have the best possible best friend EVER!  Have I achieved that status? No, but I'm still talking to Him and we have lots of conversations about....well, YOU!

Finally, Paul reminds us to "Be Thankful In ALL Circumstances."  Here's a little tidbit for the mind to chew on today: Circumstances change! Gratitude for who God is doesn't! We make the choice many times every single day: Either we determine to maintain our attitude of gratitude OR we let our circumstances decide for us if we are going to be grateful or ticked off.  

There's a lot going on in these few brief words of today's passage.  Talking with God and developing that relationship that is beyond description should cause us to be eternally grateful REGARDLESS of our circumstances.  But the 800 pound gorilla in the room is this: What will you decide and when are you going to start?

Got Your Back!

1 Praise the Lord, who is my rock.
    He trains my hands for war
    and gives my fingers skill for battle.
2 He is my loving ally and my fortress,
    my tower of safety, my rescuer.
He is my shield, and I take refuge in him.
    He makes the nations

submit to me.

-Psalm144:1-2

For many, these two verses are known as the "Warrior's Code" but, as you probably know by now, i like to look at things a bit differently and this is no exception.  

The true warrior is not focused solely on his own safety, rather the True Warrior is focused on protecting hos comrades. If he can protect them then he knows they are protecting him and anything or anyone who attempts to come between such comrades is considered a threat and is dealt with as such.

How strong would our relationships be if we took that same dedication to protecting those we are in relationship with? Can you imagine anything or anyone attempting to divide and conquer such a strong bond? Yet we let our guard down over and over and we get annoyed when our partner tries to bring our focus back on keeping our guard up.

* We work too much and neglect our family time, but that's supposed to be "okay" because you "need the money" instead if cutting expenses.

* The kids play one parent Gainst another (or play parent against step-parent) but that's "okay" because we don't want to appear harsh. Remember, the BIble (you remember the Bible? GOD'S instructions for us.) never says "Train up a child so they will never go."  God's Word emphasizes that children are to be trained so that they WILL go!

* We stop spending time together, but that's "okay" because we just have developed different interests.

Your relationship should NEVER be considered "disposable"...EVER!  NOTHING should ever be allowed to "divide and conquer" your relationship!  NO ONE should ever be allowed to play you against your partner! 

Our relationships are worth fighting for!  Therefore, WE must keep the Warrior's Code as our guide and protect each other so that our relationships are, and will forever be, solid as GOD'S Word!

Caution: Old Friends Laughing!

I will be your God throughout your lifetime—
    until your hair is white with age.
I made you, and I will care for you.
    I will carry you along and save you.

~Isaiah 46:4 

 

 I remember listening to stories at family gatherings.  Most of them I didn't understand, but I remember the laughter.  I remember listening to my Grampa talking about his friends and seeing his face light up as he remembered some funny tale of their exploits.  Watching he and his friends together laughing as they reminded each other of the stories of their lives was always priceless to me.  I still didn't get all their jokes, but I liked seeing them laugh.

 

This week, tomorrow as a matter of fact, I celebrate the fact that God has taken care of me for another year.  Looking back it's hard to believe the years have slipped by so quickly.  Looking back at the antics I had with some of my friends it's hard to believe we are still alive and not in jail.  But I also look at how many of my friends from my youth have already been called home.

 

A couple of weeks ago I saw a couple of old guys (no, I'm not one of them) sitting together and they were enjoying telling stories of their younger days.  I overheard one of the guys say, "Yep...God's been good to me in spite of me."  When his friend's wife came and took him off, I sat next to this older gentleman and told him I had heard his comment.  He smiled with a twinkle of impishness and said, "You know what Heaven is to me?  Sitting on a bench like this swapping stories and laughter with God."  

 

He must have noticed how his statement gave me pause to think because he chuckled and said, "The bestest friends you have are the ones you have no secrets.  If you are honest with God, you have no secrets and He is your bestest friend, so you can laugh at your mistakes without shame." 

 

What a relationship to strive for!!