It's A Struggle~

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor 

and slander be put away from you, along with all malice."

Ephesians 4:31

 I've been struggling of late.  An event occurred in my family over Christmas which brought back to my mind a lot of negative memories from my past.  The more I remembered, the angrier I became.  I know in my heart of hearts that I cannot change anything in the past.  I also know in my heart of hearts that holding onto my anger and resentment is not only sinful, but it also destroys my joy.  This I openly confess: I've been angry and resentful about things I can not change or alter.

Having said that, Abba has reminded me, in His ever so gentle poke between my eyes, that the reason I entertained the anger and resentment was due to my own lack of faith!  In my own weakness, I listened to the whispers of the enemy.  You see, that is one of the ways our enemy works...waits until we are weak and then whispers to us to "remember when...?".

When Oliver Cromwell died and the monarchy was restored, the powers that be were so angry with Cromwell that they supposedly had his corpse exhumed, had it whipped, hung and beheaded.  Why do this to something that was already dead?  The same reason I brought to my own mind those "corpses" of past events...namely because I wanted to. It's just that plain and simple.  I listened to the one who does NOT have my best interests in mind and wants to keep my focus off of the ONE who does.  And I fell right into that pit.

Therefore, I am learning and will continue to learn to leave the past in the past.  Let it go!!!  Turn EVERYTHING over to Abba, and let Him deal with it!

 

Don't Drink The Poison

Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you your sins.

Mark 11:25

 

Have you ever tried to pray when you were angry with someone?  They did something to you that you found offensive.  Perhaps, they said something about you that hurt your feelings or your reputation.  The harder you try to pray, the more the enemy keeps reminding you of the reason you are angry and resent that other person.  After a while, you just give up trying to pray instead of seeking resolution for your resentment.

 

I found a quote from Max Lucado that I thought appropriate: "Resentment is the cocaine of the emotions, causing our blood to pump. And our energy level to rise. There is a dangerous point at which our anger ceases to be an emotion and becomes a driving force.  That's why bitter people complain to anyone who will listen.  And, like cocaine, resentment can kill. Physically - with high blood pressure and other conditions.  Emotionally - with anxiety and depression. Spiritually - as it shrivels the soul."

 

When we come to pray, God expects us to be ready to talk with Him.  Resentment steals our focus and sends God the message that He is not as important to you as your anger.  Guess what?  When you resent someone, they OWN you!!  BUT one of the most incredible feelings in the world is the freedom you receive by making peace with the other person.  Even if you just have to agree to disagree. Make peace!  Don't drink the poison of resentment.