It's A Struggle~

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor 

and slander be put away from you, along with all malice."

Ephesians 4:31

 I've been struggling of late.  An event occurred in my family over Christmas which brought back to my mind a lot of negative memories from my past.  The more I remembered, the angrier I became.  I know in my heart of hearts that I cannot change anything in the past.  I also know in my heart of hearts that holding onto my anger and resentment is not only sinful, but it also destroys my joy.  This I openly confess: I've been angry and resentful about things I can not change or alter.

Having said that, Abba has reminded me, in His ever so gentle poke between my eyes, that the reason I entertained the anger and resentment was due to my own lack of faith!  In my own weakness, I listened to the whispers of the enemy.  You see, that is one of the ways our enemy works...waits until we are weak and then whispers to us to "remember when...?".

When Oliver Cromwell died and the monarchy was restored, the powers that be were so angry with Cromwell that they supposedly had his corpse exhumed, had it whipped, hung and beheaded.  Why do this to something that was already dead?  The same reason I brought to my own mind those "corpses" of past events...namely because I wanted to. It's just that plain and simple.  I listened to the one who does NOT have my best interests in mind and wants to keep my focus off of the ONE who does.  And I fell right into that pit.

Therefore, I am learning and will continue to learn to leave the past in the past.  Let it go!!!  Turn EVERYTHING over to Abba, and let Him deal with it!

 

The Courage to Pray for Dragons

But I say to you who are listening: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 

Luke 6:27-28 

 

One of my favorite books is "The Hobbit" by J.R.R. Tolkien.  Perhaps you've read it.  One of the most interesting characters in this tale, for me, is Smaug the Dragon.  Greedy, evil, laughed about hurting others, very self-serving.  Believe it or not, each of us have Smaugs in our lives, those who want your demise (personally, professionally, relationally).  These people want to promote themselves by tearing you down.  

 

Know a Smaug in your life?  What is our reaction when our dragon(s) cause us pain and suffering?  Anger, frustration, thoughts of revenge are our natural responses to the pain caused by our Smaugs.  Sometimes we even try to involve God in our desire for retaliation and revenge, praying that God would do to them what they did to us (only worse).

 

Yet Jesus teaches a different approach.  Not only did Jesus tell us to treat others in the same way we would like to be treated by them, He also teaches that we should pray FOR them, do good FOR them, LOVE them.  All of which go against our natural responses.  We have to DECIDE to follow Jesus' teachings!  

 

And here's the kicker, praying for them, doing good for them, loving them...it's not FOR them!  It's for US!  When we change our perspective, God will change our hearts.  Jesus never said it would be easy...He said it's the right thing to do.

When You Walk Through A Cattle Pasture...

So submit to God. But resist the devil and he will flee from you. 

James 4:7 

The question was asked of me, "If I have forgiven someone who has hurt me, but when I come in contact with them, I get angry and upset all over again, does that mean I haven't truly forgiven them?"  Forgiveness is not forgiveness unless it costs you!  End of story!  Forgiveness will cost you the "right" of revenge.  Forgiveness will cost you the "right" to slap on a happy mask and pretend everything is okay.  You see, forgiving someone does not mean the scars are gone.  And if someone has hurt you, then forgiveness might even cost you a relationship with that person.

One thing to consider, Forgiveness does not remove the temptation to let our humanity show.  Take for example if I get a bottle of water, and that water is scalding hot, the wise thing for me to do is not touch that bottle until I can handle the heat.  The same applies when others hurt us.  We can forgive them, but the wise thing to do is to not be in proximity of the person who hurt us until we are completely able to handle their company without being fake.  Why? Because once you have forgiven someone who has hurt you, you don't want to be tempted to be hurt by them again or to become angry with them again.  You should distance yourself from them until that hurt within you has healed completely.

If you are familiar with cows, they are quite prolific in the manufacture of manure and aren't too particular where they leave this gift.  I don't know about you, but I've never seen anyone who works with cows walking through a pasture without shoes, boots, waders, or some covering.  Why? Because once you've stepped in it, you learn it's not something you want to step into again.

Think of it this way, if you know that where the traps are, wouldn't it be wiser to walk around them rather than step into them.  We are told to resist temptation.  When Jesus gave the Sermon on the Mount, His approach was to remind us that the temptation to do wrong begins in the heart.

Therefore, if you want to avoid the temptation, sometimes you have to separate yourself from the place where your temptation lurks.  The enemy knows where you struggle and sets traps for you, avoid them!

It's GOING To Hurt!

"I’ve said these things to you so that you will have peace in me. In the world you will have trouble. But be encouraged! I have conquered the world.”

John 16:33 

 

I remember going through hand-to-hand combat training in the Army.  Most of us didn't fare so well against the instructor.  Partly because he was much larger than we were; partly because he had been doing it a lot longer than we had; but mainly because he knew the secret.  After tossing us around like ping-pong balls for a couple of hours, he made us all sit against the wall and said, "Let me tell you why TRUE Warriors are successful...TRUE Warriors KNOW it's going to hurt!  If you can accept that it's GOING to hurt, you will stop being afraid and you will be keep fighting!" 

 

I wish I could say that his peptalk gave us what we needed to toss HIM around like a used rag, but it didn't.  But I can tell you that we stopped being afraid of the pain and we improved every time we practiced.

 

When I was a child, every time the doctor had to give me an injection, I would tense up and try to anticipate the pain of the needle and it ALWAYS felt as if he had punched me.  That it, until I learned to relax and accept that it was going to hurt.  Did it still hurt?  Well YEAH, it's a sharp harpoon entering my body. But the pain was more tolerable.

 

History lesson: the Spartans were considered one of the most formidable fighting forces ever put together.  They began warrior training shortly after a child could walk.  The first thing the new warrior hopefuls learned was that "it's gonna hurt."  The older warriors pulled no punches and never went easy on the trainees.  Why? Because they had to accept that their enemies were not going to go easy on them, and their comrades needed them to fight beside them.  

 

We go through life and get upset every time something painful happens.  We forget that Jesus told us, "In the world you WILL HAVE TROUBLE."  He makes no bones about it.  Life in this world is going to be painful!  Let's face facts: Life here on this spinning marble is going to be painful!  We may lose jobs; we may run out of money; relationships may end; people may turn their back on us; IT'S GONNA HURT!!  

But here's the most wonderful news ever!  We weren't put on this earth alone and we don't go through life alone.  One of the reasons there are so many of us on this earth is to remind us that we don't have to go it alone!  We can come alongside others who are in pain and help them.  When we are in pain, others can come alongside us and help us.  The key is accepting that we are in pain and being willing to reach out for help.

Jesus promised that He had overcome the world.  Yet He still had to deal with the pain of being tortured to death, as well as, the pain of His Disciples abandoning Him, AND Peter denying Him.  Yet Jesus kept going through it. 

We aren't home yet.  Our purpose on this Earth is not completed yet.  Don't give up, even when (and especially when) life hurts!

 

 

Hold My Hand, My Child.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

 

What do you do when you get devastating news?  What do you do when things don't go as planned?  

 

We lash out!  We lash out at anyone who is close. We lash out at God because, after all, how could HE let this happen!

 

A few things to ponder:

1.  First, it's okay to be mad at God for a while. When we get mad with God and lash out at Him, His love is big enough to take it.  Nothing we say to Him will change the fact that we are His children and He loves us.  Read through the Psalms and see how David, the Beloved of God, let God know exactly what he thought of all that was happening to him.
2. Talk to God about EVERYTHING that is on your heart and mind! Everything that happens to us, God can use for our good and His glory.  And He WILL use it.  Just because we think of our situation as devastating, doesn't mean God's plans for us are finished or have become unraveled.
3. Be flexible! God's plan may include having to learn to let go of some things that might have become our focus in place of Him.  The Apostle Paul reminds us: "I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little" - Philippians 4:12
4. Don't Give Up!  Remember that God is not through with you yet!  Not by any stretch of the imagination. As long as we draw breath, God's got something for us to do.
5. Change Your Perspective!  God may have allowed this situation to happen to shake us out of our comfort zone.  Perhaps God needs to get our attention.  Perhaps He saw fit to take you out of a miserable situation.  Look at your situation from more angles than just through the eyes of hurt.

 

Struggles are never easy!  EVER!  But they come into our lives when we least need then, want them, or expect them.  We have a choice of drowning in our own depression and sorrow, or we can keep moving and let God deal with the matter.  God promised to always love us!  Even when we don't think He does. 

 

But What Do I DO With It?

You keep track of all my sorrows.
    You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
    You have recorded each one in your book.

~Psalm 56:8

November 17, is a date that has become, and continues to be, one of the most painful of my life.  You see, it was on November 17, 1981 that my conversations with my Grampa ended.  God called him home and my life changed that day.  

To say that I was angry would be such an understatement!  I was angry with him for leaving me.  I was angry with everyone who told me that "it was his time" or "your pain will end."  I was angry at those who piously quoted Scripture to me as if that was supposed to remove the pain!  I was especially angry at God for taking my Grampa from me.

I was angry for YEARS and YEARS!  With every single loss I endured, I grew more angry.  Did I talk with anyone about it? Of course not because "men don't talk about feelings."  So what did I do with all that pain? Just kept stuffing it down and, on the outside, pretended everything was okay.

It wasn't until I was almost 45 years old that I heard something that finally broke through the pain and anger.  I don't remember the speaker's name, but what this wise person said was: "Let's say you have a broken arm with the bone protruding.  It hurts like nothing you have ever experienced.  Are you going to sit there and be angry and upset that it's broken?  Not a good idea, because it will get infected and cause you even more problems.  You could dull the pain with alcohol and self medicate, but does that fix your arm? Nope!  Your BEST course of action is to go to the doctor who can fix your arm.  Setting the arm is going to hurt, no doubt!  And it will take a long time before you can use it again.  And you may not be able to use it the same way you did before.  But over time the pain will subside."

It was at that moment that I realized that God was reaching out to me.  My heart was broken and I had spent all these years being angry that it was broken instead of going to the Great Physician who could help.  

Now, have I recovered?  Not completely, but I'm better than I was.  Does it still hurt? Yes, very much.  And each time the pain comes, I run to the Great Physician and pour it all out to Him.  Am I still angry? I have my moments.

God records our every tear.  God records our every pain.  God loves us so much that when we hurt, so does HE!

"In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation." - 1 Peter 5:10

 

If you are hurting, take your broken heart to the Great Physician.  Show Him your pain! Show Him the broken pieces of your heart!  Show Him the flood of tears your soul has shed!  Let Him comfort you! 

Protect Your Mind!

And now I make one more appeal, my dear brothers and sisters. Watch out for people who cause divisions and upset people’s faith by teaching things contrary to what you have been taught. Stay away from them. Such people are not serving Christ our Lord; they are serving their own personal interests. By smooth talk and glowing words they deceive innocent people. 

~Romans 16:17-18

Did you know that there are people who are divisive?  We see it every single day.  The divisive people are usually those who are too cowardly to step into the light of view and debate.  They choose to cast stones from the shadows without regard to who will be hurt by their words. Divisive people stir up trouble and seem to enjoy the chaos, again because they do so from the shadows.  

The Apostle Paul reminds us to be wary of those who seek to be divisive!  Yet over and over we see such people who will mindlessly follow simply because the rhetoric is the latest popular thing, or because they just want to be "part of change," or some other excuse that deflects the responsibility to THINK away from themselves.  Remember the excuse: "Well, every one else is doing it!"  Does that make it right. 

Jesus reminds us "And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak" (Matthew 12:36). Therefore, we must be careful what we say and what we think.  Because for most of us, what's in our mind is going to come out of our mouth (and God WILL hold us accountable).

Solomon wrote in his Proverbs: "Guard your heart [and mind] above all else, for it determines the course of your life" (Proverbs 4:23).  So how do we put a guard on our hearts and minds?  How do we keep from becoming a casualty of the divisive person's bombs?  Allow me to give you some very practical counsel:

     *  If a statement is 99.99999% true and 0.00001% false, it is a LIE!  Don't let the lies into your mind!  If that means you have to stop reading their words or stop listening their words or even remove yourself from them, DO IT!  Better to walk away than become a casualty!

     *  Remember that YOU control what you let into your heart and mind! Be selective!  Be careful!

     *  People will say whatever they want about you for whatever reason they want and there's little you can do to stop them.  BUT....YOU control how you choose to react to them.

  

Perhaps the best counsel I have found comes from Paul's letter to the Philippian church (Chapter 4 Verse 8):

 Finally, brothers and sisters, 

whatever is true, 

whatever is worthy of respect, 

whatever is just, 

whatever is pure,

 whatever is lovely, 

whatever is commendable, 

if something is excellent or praiseworthy, 

THINK ON THESE THINGS.

We are bombarded with lots of garbage every day, but WE get to decide what we let into our minds.  If it's not building you up and making you better, then it's not worth your time to think about!

What Would You Do?

Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.

~2Corinthians 11:24-27

 

 

We hear quite a lot, these days, about Critical Incidents and ways to deal with the after-effects.  What is a Critical Incident?  In a nutshell, a Critical Incident is any event that negatively changes your perception and perspective of life.  A Critical Incident for one person might not be for another person.  But it is whatever incident alters your view of "normal."

 

Look at what the Apostle Paul endured:

     1.  Given 39 lashes on 5 occasions by the Jewish Leaders.  You see, 40 lashes was considered fatal, so they stopped at 39 lashes which chewed up the skin on one's back until is looked like it had been butchered.  And Paul got this treatment FIVE times!!  How would you have handled that?

 

     2.  Three times Paul was beaten with rods.  That is rather like being caned in Hong Kong.

 

     3.  Once the people tried to kill Paul by throwing stones on him.  Not gravel, mind you, but bone crushing stones!

 

     4.  THREE times Paul was shipwrecked and once had to spend an entire day and night hanging on to flotsam to survive.  No life preservers.  No inflatable rafts.  Paul was clinging to whatever bits of the ship that were still floating.  Remember, the Mediterranean Sea does have sharks and they do attack.  And here's Paul bobbing along on his bit of wreckage in the middle of this sea.

 

     5.  He took his own life in his hands every time he traveled anywhere.  During this time, there was no Highway Patrol.  If you traveled, you needed to travel in large groups.  Thieves and robbers didn't think twice about killing you just to take your walking stick or sandals.

 

     6. Paul spent many many nights without sleep because he was working.  You see, Paul had to earn his way through the mission fields.  He was a tentmaker by trade which was very tedious and eye straining work.  But Paul worked so he could share the Gospel.  So he worked more than most of us could imagine.

 

     7.  Paul didn't always make enough to pay for his food and clothing on these journeys, so he went without food and wore his rags when necessary.

 

Do you think Paul's experiences qualify as Critical Incidents?  You bet they do!  How did Paul handle these crises?  He talked about it!!  Yes, he wrote about them in his letters, but he TALKED to God about EVERYTHING!  Did God make his life one of ease and comfort after that?  Nope!  God, instead, used these experiences to strengthen Paul.  You see, crises should bring our focus back to God!  And that is a good thing!

 

But guess when the best time to have conversations with God?  Every single day!  Even the days when life seems easy. Especially when life seems easy, because those are the times where we get comfortable and complacent and think WE are in control.  Hmmmm.....

 

If you have faced Critical Incidents or if you had to face a Critical Incident...what would you do? 

That Long And Winding Road

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

~James 1:2-4

 

Many years ago, when I was young, the Beatles recorded a song called "The Long And Winding Road" (if you don't know who the Beatles are, stop reading here).  The song describes a journey through many aspects of life and it always leads back to the starting point.  

 

I have had people ask me, through their pain, "Why is life so hard?".  Believe it or not, I am smart enough to know that such a moment is not the time to launch into a sermon on trials and tribulations, but I am also smart enough to know that it is the trials and tribulations we endure that teach us, shape us, help us, and grow us.  Think about this:  If you take a lump of coal, put it under extreme pressure and heat for a long, long, long time...eventually a diamond is formed.

  

Several years ago, I was the one asking the question about why life is so hard.  The answer I got came from a homeless man who happened to be shuffling by when I was mumbling my prayer of heartbreak.  He stopped for a minute, patted me on the back, offered me some of his coffee, and said "God is making you into one the gems for His crown."

 

Later on I had a coach tell me that many people stop going to the gym after their first few tries because soreness sets in and makes it seem as if their limbs are going to fall off.  Face it, most of us don't like pain.  Some like physical pain of working out, and weird as they are, I admire them.  But not too many people like the pain of loss or the pain of feeling helpless or the pain of having to learn life's lessons the hard way.  So we try to avoid situations where such pain would find us.  But remember, God doesn't allow us to hurt just for His own grins and giggles.  God allows us to hurt so we will come to Him for help, healing and comfort; THEN we can be used of God to help others in their times of pain.

 

Life truly is a long and winding road...but the good news is we don't have to walk it alone!

Ever Have That Sinking Feeling?

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water 
and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, 
he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
 ~Matthew 14:29-31

Ever feel overwhelmed by life? Sometimes it feels as if, no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to keep your head above water.

Peter felt like that.  He and the Disciples were in a boat because Jesus has told them to go ahead.  A storm came up and was bouncing the boat around, when they saw Jesus (thinking He was a ghost) walking on the water toward them.  Jesus told them who it was and for them not to worry.  Then Peter (and I love Peter) told Jesus to prove it was Him by letting him (Peter) walk on the water too.  

Jesus told Peter to "come on in."  So Peter hopped over the side and started walking toward Jesus.  And then...."Reality" set in!  Peter took his focus off of Jesus and started looking at the noisy and the in-your-face storm, with the wind and the waves, and Peter got scared.  When Peter got scared, he began to slip under the water.  When he fixed his focus on Jesus, the storm was not a bother.  But when he started looking at the storm instead of Jesus, the storm became overwhelming!

Let's face it, Life has a way of being loud, in-you-face, and overwhelming.  But when you stop for a moment to think about it, no matter what life throws at us, Jesus is right there with us reminding us that He is our life preserver!

Consider what God has told us in Isaiah 43:1-3:

But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.
    O Israel, the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
    I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
    I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
    you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
    you will not be burned up;
    the flames will not consume you.
 For I am the Lord, your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Keep your focus on Jesus and the things of this world will grow strangely dim. 

Don't Worry, I'm Here!

That evening Jesus’ disciples went down to the shore to wait for him. But as darkness fell and Jesus still hadn’t come back, they got into the boat and headed across the lake toward Capernaum. Soon a gale swept down upon them, and the sea grew very rough. They had rowed three or four miles when suddenly they saw Jesus walking on the water toward the boat. They were terrified, but he called out to them, “Don’t be afraid. I am here!” Then they were eager to let him in the boat, and immediately they arrived at their destination!

~John 6:16-21 

 

Way back when I was about 16 years old, my Dad asked me to help him take down a tree in our back yard.  I admit I wasn't too thrilled about it because I felt I had better things to do, but off we went to take down this tree.  Dad laid out the game plan: Since he had already removed the limbs, he would climb the tree, tie a rope around the top, then cut a wedge out so the tree would fall.  MY job was to take the other end of the rope, go to the far side of the yard (away from the house), and keep the rope taut.  When Dad cut the wedge, I was to pull the rope so the tree would fall in the middle of the yard and not on the house.

 

Like most plans, it seemed pretty straight forward on paper and in theory.  However......

All went according to plan.  I kept the rope taught, and when Dad cut the wedge out of the tree, I pulled for all I was worth.  (Side note here:  When I was 16, I was not the robust model of masculinity you see today.  I weighed around 90 lbs. and was probably the smallest person in my high school class.)  

 

Now, when I pulled the rope, the tree started leaning my direction and I thought this was going to be a pretty easy project.  Just as I finished that thought, a gust of wind blew the tree the opposite direction. As I felt myself begin to be dragged across the yard I, wisely or so I thought, decided to let go of the rope.  When I did, the rope wrapped around my arm and when the top of the tree fell into the neighbor's yard, I shot across the yard and into the tree hitting the trunk with a thunk our neighbor on the side I had been standing heard it inside her house.  And there I was, dangling about 15 feet off the ground by my rope entangled arm.

 

I knew this was not part of the plan because there was pain.  LOTS of pain!  There were rope burns, there were embedded splinters, there were lots of bruised places inside and outside.  This was NOT what the plan called for!  But then, I heard the most wonderful voice say, "Don't worry! I've got you!"  It was my Dad, who had come to get me down.

 

Think about the things that happen to you that you swear are NOT part of the plan.  If you are like most people (me included), your thoughts might go something like this: "IF God loves me, why do I have to hurt like this? IF God truly cares about me, why is my life so hard?  IF God truly wants what's best for me, why doesn't HE just give me what I need?"

 

If God did everything FOR us so that we didn't have to lift a finger, then would we really appreciate Him or would we become spoiled brats expecting more and more?  God NEVER promised an easy life, in fact Jesus told us that in this life we WILL have troubles and turmoil.  But He also promised to never leave us or reject us! 

 

Life IS hard, but God IS good!