Shocking! Can It Be True?

Do you know where your fights and arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that war within you. 

James 4:1

 

 It's true!  Why do we argue?  Because we think we're right and they're wrong and nothing can change that!  And guess what?  We are WRONG to believe that.  We argue because we want our way!  We argue because we are selfish!  We argue because we simply like to argue!

 

One of my favorite Monty Python Skits is called "The Argument Clinic" because it involves a man who simply wants to have an argument. The fact of the matter is we simply have such a difficult time being open, calm, and willing to see the other side of the situation.  But there's good news, Scripture gives us the perfect method for arguing: "Do to others as you would have them do to you."  Sound familiar?  Try it and see how well it works.

Grousing or Grateful

Do everything without complaining or arguing. Then you will be innocent and without any wrong. You will be God’s children without fault. But you are living with crooked and mean people all around you, among whom you shine like stars in the dark world.

Philippians 2:14-15 

I'm not sure about you, but are we, as God's children capable of doing everything without complaining or arguing? Does God REALLY expect us to, I don' t know, get along with each other?  I mean REALLY get along without being shallow or fake?  Is that possible?

The answer is a resounding "YES!"  Think about it for a minute.  If we live the same way the world lives, how will anyone be able to tell we are God's children?  If we grumble, grouse, gripe, complain, argue, backstab just like the world, who would believe that we are filled with God's love?

When we accepted Christ as our Savior, we accepted the sacrifice He made and God's loving forgiveness because of Christ.  As the Apostle put it, we became NEW CREATIONS!  God remade us and adopted us as His children.  

Yet...we still struggle with who we were....I do. 

I need to be reminded, pretty much on a regular basis, that I am God's representative and therefore to be the "light on the hill" for others to see.  I am tempted to switch on autopilot when I feel things going my way, then when turbulence hits my life, guess where I revert?  We must be diligent!  We must keep driving forward!  We must not let down our guard.

We CAN get along without complaining and arguing by putting things into perspective.  If we are battling over something that we won't be taking with us to Heaven, then we need to learn to "Come and REASON together."  Because if it's not going to Heaven with us, it shouldn't be worth dimming God's light in us for.

 

Why Do We Argue?

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

James 4:1-3 

As a child, my brother and I would argue.  Especially when cooped up in a car for those family vacations.  We would argue about who was looking out of whose window, who was taking up more of the back seat, who was touching who, and on and on. We would argue until Dad started to slow the car and head for the shoulder, because we knew EXACTLY what would be coming next.  More than once, Dad told us to get out and run to the sign and back or just run in circles so we could get that energy out before the belt did that for us.

Well, guess what? We, as humans, tend to argue and fight about pretty much anything. Think about some of the things we argue about.  Will Jesus come back before, during or after the trying times? Here's the thing, Jesus will come back when God says so and not before. So what purpose does arguing serve?  

We argue because one group or another believes differently than do we. So what? My job is to be a source of God's Love.  Those who choose to believe differently are no less worthy of God's Love than anyone else. 

We argue about skin pigmentation.  Why? Do we not need the same air?  Do we not love? Do we not weep when we are hurt?  When the only difference is skin pigmentation (which NOT ONE OF US had a choice in the matter) then why make it a source of argument?  

You see where I'm going with this?  We tend to argue because of differences that, in all reality, are irrelevant.  The message of Jesus is to: 1) Love the Lord your God with all you heart, soul, mind and strength, and 2) to love others in the same way you love yourself.  So if we are so busy arguing and fighting, what does that say about our relationship with God, and what does that say about our view of ourselves?

God created each of us as unique, yet in His image.  Isn't it about time we started remembering that? 

KWITCHA GRYPIN

Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless.

Philippians 2:14-16 NLT

 

We all know someone (or sometimes a group of them, as they tend to flock together) who cannot say anything positive.  They spend their days complaining about everything.  Nothing seems to be able to meet their standard.  I have even asked a few of these complainers how they were able to find a spouse that met their standard of perfection, to which the response was given "they were the closest so I settled."  

 

Did you know that if you hear something enough times, you will begin to believe it too?  So be careful when dealing with chronic complainers or you may find yourself among their number.  Chronic complainers are like ticks in that they will suck the joy right out of you.

 

Why do we like to complain so much?  Could it be that we are simply naturally negative critters who find no joy in anything?  That can't be true....I find joy in lots of things and complaining isn't one of them.  Could it be that we feel superior when we point out the perceived deficiencies in the world around us?  Quite probably!  We do like to feel superior and if we can point out someone else's deficiencies then we have struck gold!

 

But what does GOD tell us to do?  Do EVERYTHING without arguing or complaining!  WOW!  Some folks are likely to explode from not being able to argue and complain.  So let me put it this way, WE example life for others (especially our children).  How do you think they will grow up if we give them the example of complaining and arguing all the time?

 

Just planting that seed for thought right there.  

And What Will It Matter?

So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

Romans 14:19 

 

When my brother and I were a bit younger, it was never a good idea to leave us in each others company for very long.  Why?  We would begin to bicker and argue about the most idiotic things.  And it got worse when we were stuck in the back seat on family vacations.  We would start the bickering almost as soon as we pulled out of the driveway.

 

"He's looking out my window!"

 

"He's breathing on me!"

 

"He's on my side of the car!"

 

"He pooted and didn't say 'excuse me'!"

 

"Make him put his socks and shoes back on!"

 

At the time, these were important topics of discussion for my young and agitated mind.  Now, I truly pity the trauma we put our parents through and, at the same time, admire the fact that they didn't leave us on the side of the road somewhere in the desert.

 

As I have gotten older, I still hear bickering over the most idiotic things.  But if we stop to think about it for a bit, the things we argue, bicker, disagree on...a year from now, will they what will they matter?  Imagine what a difference we could make if, instead of focusing on things that really don't matter, we focused on building each other up and seeking to be at peace with each other.  Yes, that will take us swallowing our pride and even sharing some of the spotlight, but aren't we worth it?

Drama....Drama.....Drama!

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people. 

Romans 12:18 

I was a Theatre Major in College and LOVED it!  I loved performing in the plays that entertained my fellow students.  It was wonderful actually studying and becoming the character I was to portray on stage.  As a result, I have learned to notice when a person is "acting" or creating drama for attention.

Let's face it, we are deluged with the concept that being overly dramatic is the way to get people to pay attention to you.  I have found quite the opposite to be true.  Don't believe me?  Come with me to any theater, coffee shop, restaurant, or other public place....within 15 minutes of sitting in a nice quiet corner someone (or group of someones) will inevitably appear, sit around my little haven, and start being loud.  

And here's another thought about drama, it pops up in the office as "office politics" and it will pop up even in social media.  Here's my point: Some people like to create drama for attention and to "poke the bear" to start an argument just for the purpose of arguing.  If we fall into the trap of responding, then we have just walked onto the stage and become part of the drama.

Remember, you always have the opportunity to stay out of the drama.  You also have the opportunity to simply wish them a nice day and walk away.  Our natural instinct is to step up and fight back.  However, we find this wise counsel in Proverbs 17:28: "Even a fool who remains silent is considered wise, and the one who holds his tongue is deemed discerning."

Leave drama for the actors!  Be honest, real, sincere, and treat others as you want to be treated.

Fool Me Once!

But I am not surprised! Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no wonder that his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. In the end they will get the punishment their wicked deeds deserve.

2 Corinthians 11:14-15

"Fool me one, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."  We've all heard this saying before, yet we fall for it time and time again, don't we?  And when we fall for it the third, fourth, fifteenth time, we STILL don't take responsibility for not learning.  We are enticed by our own desires because what we desire "feels so right."  

Just because something "feels so right" does not make it right.  The Ancient Chinese General Sun Tzu is quoted as saying: "Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him."   

We are enticed by what? The opportunity to earn some extra money?  To get that bigger house?  To fudge on the rules because, after all, "everyone does it"?

Think about how we are enticed by advertisers with phrases like "But for only a few dollars more, you could have....." or "Why would you settle for the silver package when for just a little bit more (usually a couple of pints of blood or a limb) you can upgrade to the GOLD package."  Or you are looking at a home to purchase and get caught up in all the "high end" upgrades, when what you truly need (since you're working so much to make the money to pay for all these upgrades) is simply a place to put your clothes.

We are constantly being enticed, and with things that are appealing to us.  Let's face it, if sin wasn't fun...we would have no trouble resisting.  This is why I am not enticed by the offerings of broccoli, or onions, or big bags of stable muck. These things are not attractive to me and I have no trouble saying "No thanks, I'm good without them."

I'm also not advocating a life of living in a cave, eating crawly critters, and having disregarding personal hygiene.  We must learn that not everything the glitters is gold and we must learn to be strong enough to resist the temptation by thinking things through.  

So...You Like To Argue?

Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools,
    or you will become as foolish as they are.

Proverbs 26:4

Ever know anyone who enjoys arguing just for the sake of arguing?  No matter what the issue, they will take the opposite stance of everyone else, just for the sheer enjoyment of arguing.  And guess what?  We fall into their trap time after time after time.  

Let's face it, we don't like being wrong!  We don't like being anything but right! Why? Because we are just that full of......we can call it "pride" if you want, but we know what we are truly full of stinks and makes pretty good fertilizer.  Yet we will quite literally beat each other to death just to prove that we are "right."

A number of years ago, Monty Python's Flying Circus did a skit called "The Argument Clinic" that does an outstanding job of showing how arguing just for the sake of arguing is among the most idiotic exercises in futility ever. I have talked with several people who love to argue and have not been given a reason why they get so much enjoyment out of just being disagreeable.

But notice what Solomon tells us: If you engage in stupid arguments then guess what that makes you?

We need to reach the point where we are wise enough to concede that we are wrong (if we are truly in the wrong) and apologize.  BUT we also need to become wise enough to understand that not every argument is worth the fight.  Sometimes the best way to settle a petty argument is to simply smile and walk away.