Just Let Them Be? Are You Mad?

This is My commandment: that you love one another, as I have loved you.

John 15:12 

When you think of a parent showing love to their child, what comes to mind?  Is it giving them lots of gifts?  Perhaps it's letting them do whatever they want, when they want, to whom they want?  After all, children are adorable and would NEVER do anything that could construed as "wrong".....  If this is how you perceive showing love, you're completely miss the point of Jesus' words.

When a parent truly loves their child, they will teach that child!  They will teach their child that their actions have consequences...good or bad consequences, but every thought and action will result in some sort of consequences.

Remember the Israelites when they left Egypt heading toward the promised land?  God truly loved and loves His children.  What happened when the Israelites decided they knew the best way to do things instead of following God's direction?  God let them wander around the desert until the sinful generation had died (and that generation included Moses).

Remember King David, The Beloved of God? What did God do when David decided he wanted to take another man's wife (Bathsheba)?  Did God tell David, "That's okay.  You take who you want.  As long as it makes you happy, it's okay with me"?  If that's your answer, then perhaps you need to read the Bible story again.  God loved David enough to make him the ruler over Israel, but God also loved David enough to HOLD HIM ACCOUNTABLE!

You see, if we truly love someone we must love them enough to comfort them, as well as, correct them gently (or more harshly if the lesson is not learned).  

Let's look at this another way...let's say you want to lose weight (and I'm NOT saying that you do, just that you WANT to), what helps you more: your friends letting you do what you want, eat what you want, and not offering any motivation OR your friends holding you accountable by going to the gym WITH you, eating better WITH you, and encouraging you?

You see, giving someone everything they want so they don't have to do anything for themselves is NOT showing love.  Letting someone do whatever they want without any accountability or consequence is not love.  Love is teaching and guiding and encouraging and caring.  Jesus even reminds us in John 14:15: "IF you love Me, you will keep My commandments."  True love is never passive or inactive!  True love builds us up whether we like it or not.

When It Rains...

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
    he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Psalm 34:18 

 

In the movie "Forrest Gump," there is a scene where Forrest is waist deep in water and monsoon season starts.  Forrest said, "One day it started raining, and it didn't stop for FOUR MONTHS!"  He and his platoon members walked in the rain, sat in the rain, slept in the rain, ate in the rain and the rain just kept on coming.

 

Ever have one of those seasons of life where it feels like the rain just won't stop?  You feel like Job when the messenger came to deliver bad news and before he could finish speaking, here came the next messenger with bad news and before he could finish speaking, ANOTHER messenger came with bad news.  It feels as though the bottom has dropped out of your world and you are helpless.

 

Let me give you a couple of Ponder Points:

•  Storms are going to come in life.  If we didn't have storms, we wouldn't appreciate the sunshine as much.
• Just because we can't see the sun during the storm doesn't mean the sun isn't there.  Look above the clouds and you will see the sunshine!
• When the rains come, we have a choice to make: cower and cry OR let the rain cleanse us.  God sometimes brings the rains to clear away the dust that has clouded our sight for so long.
• Sometimes God allows storms for the sole purpose of reminding us that HE is the one who is in control and that we need to look to Him!  He never leaves us, but sometimes we forget to remember that.  
• Talk with God through the storms! Remembering that all His Son had to do was tell the storm to quiet down, and it obeyed.
  

Hold My Hand, My Child.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

 

What do you do when you get devastating news?  What do you do when things don't go as planned?  

 

We lash out!  We lash out at anyone who is close. We lash out at God because, after all, how could HE let this happen!

 

A few things to ponder:

1.  First, it's okay to be mad at God for a while. When we get mad with God and lash out at Him, His love is big enough to take it.  Nothing we say to Him will change the fact that we are His children and He loves us.  Read through the Psalms and see how David, the Beloved of God, let God know exactly what he thought of all that was happening to him.
2. Talk to God about EVERYTHING that is on your heart and mind! Everything that happens to us, God can use for our good and His glory.  And He WILL use it.  Just because we think of our situation as devastating, doesn't mean God's plans for us are finished or have become unraveled.
3. Be flexible! God's plan may include having to learn to let go of some things that might have become our focus in place of Him.  The Apostle Paul reminds us: "I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little" - Philippians 4:12
4. Don't Give Up!  Remember that God is not through with you yet!  Not by any stretch of the imagination. As long as we draw breath, God's got something for us to do.
5. Change Your Perspective!  God may have allowed this situation to happen to shake us out of our comfort zone.  Perhaps God needs to get our attention.  Perhaps He saw fit to take you out of a miserable situation.  Look at your situation from more angles than just through the eyes of hurt.

 

Struggles are never easy!  EVER!  But they come into our lives when we least need then, want them, or expect them.  We have a choice of drowning in our own depression and sorrow, or we can keep moving and let God deal with the matter.  God promised to always love us!  Even when we don't think He does. 

 

Being In Control Begins With YOU!

God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

1 Timothy 1:7 

 

I can't say that I'm smart or wise, but I do have a Principle.  It's called the "HEHOO Principle" and I fail quite often in its practice.  It goes like this: "HEHOO can harsh your mellow owns you!"  And guess what?  It's true!

 

Think about the person who said something about you that you didn't like.  You steamed over it, pondered it, and relived it over and over and over.  Well...that person OWNS you because they are controlling your thoughts and you attitudes!  And here's the sad truth of it all, we are VERY quick to let other people own us!

 

Here's a nugget of wisdom I heard many years ago: "You cannot control what others say or do. You can only control YOUR reaction to them."   Want to stop people from owning you?  Then consciously decide that their words and actions are their problem for which they will eventually have to answer.  

 

People are going to say and do things we don't like.  That's a given.  But since we KNOW that they will, it becomes OUR responsibility to begin training ourselves to deal with it properly, and this is where I struggle too.  Instead of a knee jerk, sharp tongued response, I should respond with kindness and courtesy.  Even if that means distancing myself from that person and being only professional and courteous should we have to interact with each other.

 

God gives us that strength but it's up to us to exercise it and use it.  Like any muscle, if it is not exercised it will be useless and weak. 

Words Words Words....Time to GROW UP!

It’s just the same with our tongues! It’s a small muscle, capable of great eloquence.  And do you know how many forest fires begin with a single ember from a small campfire? The tongue is a blazing fire seeking to ignite an entire world of vices. The tongue is unique among all parts of the body because it is capable of corrupting the whole body. If that were not enough, it ignites and consumes the course of creation with a fuel that originates in hell itself. James 3:5-6 

Ever had someone say something about you that really hurt?  When I was a child, I was almost always the smallest person in my class.  And, thus, almost always the target of the comments and insults children are prone so fire as a "joke."  I was told to just remember, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  

May I share a bitter truth?  That little quip I was told to remember was, and is, a LIE!  I would rather have been beaten senseless with sticks and stones than have to endure the bitter, sharp, cruel words.

Did you know that what we say can not only hurt someone's feelings, but can also damage or destroy their reputation, or worse, destroy the person's life?  Enter the internet's Social Media sites.  People take things posted on Social Media WAY too seriously.  I have to shake my head when I see some of the cruel and hurtful things posted.  I have to wonder why.  Why was it SO important to air your drama?  Was it to seek support from others who don't know (or care to know) ALL the facts?  Was it to try to get others to feel sorry for the poster (oh you poor thing)? 

My Gramma once told me, "If you wouldn't want it said about you then don't say it about anyone else."  Wise advice!  

We must be careful of what we say and to whom we say it.  Ecclesiastes 5:2 reminds us "Don’t shoot off your mouth, or speak before you think.
Don’t be too quick to tell God what you think he wants to hear.
God’s in charge, not you—the less you speak, the better."

Speak less, speak truth, speak only in love! 

 

Is Your House In Order?

Be careful what you think,
    because your thoughts run your life.

Proverbs 4:23 

I discovered a new television show that I enjoy watching, because it causes me to think and evaluate. The show is called "House" and Hugh Laurie is a fantastic actor.  The character he portrays, Dr. Gregory House, has, through the course of his life experiences, become very jaded, cynical, and callous.  This tends to push people away, keep them at arm's distance, and leaves him with very few people who he will actually be open with.

The more I thought about this character description, the more I began to evaluate my own life.  When I was younger (and had hair), life fascinated me and I embraced each day with enthusiasm.  I loved getting out with my friends and enjoyed spending time together.  And then "life" happened.  I honestly cannot put my finger on exactly when I began to become jaded.  I cannot tell you when I began pushing people away.  I cannot tell you when I began to feel apathetic toward others.  But it happened!  Not all at once, but slowly over time.

When you face the worst in people every day, and try to make sense of it in your own mind, the layers of cynicism will encase your heart and mind.  We think it is to protect ourselves from "them."  In reality, we let it happen so we don't have to care or show concern or feel.

God has a way of peeling back the layers of our steel wrapped hearts.  When He does, we feel things we have not felt (or wanted to feel) in a long LONG time and that is not a comfortable feeling.  But God does that for a reason, even though His timing may not be convenient for us, so we will remember we are still human with needs, wants, and feelings.

We must pay attention to what we are thinking because what we think will direct our actions, attitudes, and our perspective.  If we become so cynical that everything becomes just another irritation, it's past time to re-evaluate our thoughts.  Here's the point: When we focus on God and remember that we are His child, just like everyone else we meet, we will begin to see the layers of cynicism strip away.

We must get OUR house in order (our thoughts, our perceptions, our actions) before we become jaded and cynical. 

Shins Are For WHAT?

I praise you, Lord,
    for being my guide.
Even in the darkest night,
    your teachings fill my mind. 

I will always look to you,
    as you stand beside me
    and protect me from fear.

Psalm 16:7-8

I think I have told you before, but my mind is more of a crayon instead of a tack nowadays, that I have discovered why God gave us shins....to help us locate the corners of furniture in the dark.  I can't tell you how many times I have been in a darkened room and, sure enough, my shins are the ones that find everything there is to bang into.

It's no fun being in the dark.  And, quite honestly, I don't know how people live in the areas where night lasts for 6 months.  

I know I have told you about some of the darkest times of my life.  We all have such times when wonder if we will ever know happiness again; where we doubt we will ever be able to face others again; where we know our lives no longer have purpose...those are some of the darkest times.  Yet, even in the darkest times, God has a way of reminding us that He is with us.  Whether it is through a person, a quote, a book, a movie, a pet...God always has a way of reminding us.  And in those times, when we accept His offering of caring, it's like a light begins to glow in the darkness.  And eventually, that glow will grow until we see that our darkness was of our own making and the light of life really is within our grasp because God has brought us to it.