Are You Struggling?

Praise the Lord; praise God our savior!
    For each day he carries us in his arms.

Psalm 68:19 

 Believe it or not, my mind still functions fairly well at times.  For example, I can remember when my daughter was born and I got to hold her for the first time.  That was one of the most magical moments I pray will forever be in my mind.

I know there are some of us who struggle during this time of year.  And by "struggle" I mean mental anguish, physical agony, emotional turmoil, all spinning like a tornado within us and we slap on the mask of "I'm okay" in order to make it through the day without breaking.  Then when we reach a place where we can have some solitude, the tsunami of it all comes crashing through us and we feel broken, abandoned, and the emotional pain is excruciating. We believe that NO ONE can possibly understand what we are enduring (hiding) and we are sure that no one cares!

And we are wrong.  First, to all who struggle during the holidays...you are not alone!  There are others who are struggling as well and they, like you, wear the "I'm okay" mask so no one will see the truth.  Second, God cares and knows and understands.  When my daughter was an infant and cried, I got to hold her and sing to her and she would eventually doze back off (or pretend to sleep to stop me from singing anymore).  Guess what?  God holds us when we are hurting.  Not only that, but God caries our burdens along with us until we are ready to let go of them.

God loves us so much that He holds us like His child, because we are His child.  Take heart, the one who spoke all into creation loves you so much that you have been claimed as His child!  

May We Be Honest?

But this is what you must do: Tell the truth to each other. Render verdicts in your courts that are just and that lead to peace.

Zechariah 8:16 

 

Have you ever had a horrible day and someone asks you how you are doing?  What answer did you give?  I'll wager the answer was "I'm good" or some derivation of that.  You see, we are willing to lie because we don't want anyone to know that we are struggling.  We want to have the appearance of being impervious.  

 

Let me plant a thought: How can anyone help you if you don't tell them what's going on?  When you go to the Doctor, do you tell the doctor "I'm okay" or do you tell the doctor what's going on so the doctor can help you?  Then why do we hide from those we know and trust?

  

If someone tells me that they trust me and then lie to me by telling me "I'm fine" when I KNOW differently (by the way they are acting) then you have just offended me.  Now, I will forgive you for offending me, but I will also remind you that I KNOW you are not "fine."

 

"Tell the TRUTH TO EACH OTHER" It doesn't get much clearer than that!  We are friends for a reason: so lift each other up, pray with and for each other, rely on each other, encourage each other, sharpen each other!

"Once Upon A Time..."

Let us think of ways to inspire one another to acts of love and good works.

Hebrews 10:24 

 

There was a time I felt compelled to write a book, yet I had quite the dilemma as to how to start, where to start, and what to include.  You see, there are parts of my life that I am not proud of, parts that would bore even a sloth enough to make him run away.  Yet we all have those instances in our lives that we would really rather forget.

 

When I have a chance to talk to the new hires for the Sheriff's Department, I always tell them "I have over 50 years of doing life wrong, and because of that, I have learned enough to walk with you through pretty much any situation you may find yourself."  And it's true, isn't it?  We learn from our mistakes and, because of that, we are able to help others.  If we don't learn from our mistakes, God is patient and we will keep making the same mistakes until we finally do learn.

 

Think about your life's story so far. Are you willing to let your life serve as an inspiration for someone else?  You have endured trials and yet you still choose to live each day instead of hiding.  You have made mistakes, endured the consequences, and learned from them.  You have overcome.    How much more inspiring can a life story get?

 

How can we inspire each other to acts of love and good works?  By letting our lives serve as a source of inspiration!! 

What's The Point?

But I am always with you;
    you have held my hand.

Psalm 73:23

 

I received a phone call.  It was about 2:30 in the morning.  I recognized the voice on the other end of the line because we are friends.  The words I heard come from my friend brought back so many horrible memories and emotions that I had endured, yet God had brought me through. "Padre, What's the point?  Why should I bother to keep on?  My life is a complete mess and there's no way to make it better.  So, what's the point?"

 

I had said the same thing several years ago.  I had been in the depths of despair and depression and didn't believe there was any way life could get better.  I considered a permanent exit, but God wouldn't allow it.  And I prayed that God would not allow this one either.

 

We talked for a bit, while I got dressed, and continued to talk as I drove to my friend and we talked a bit more.  I knew that this was not the right time to preach to my friend, rather, it was time to love on my friend and BE a friend.  After almost an hour of silence, I asked if my friend had made an exit plan.  My friend confirmed there was such a plan.  I asked if the plan could be explained to me, and it was.  I asked if my friend knew that I loved, cared for, and wanted to help.  That was confirmed.  But my friend, with tears gushing, whispered: "But what does it matter?"  The only thing that came to mind after a quick HELP ME prayer to God was, "It matters because YOU matter.  YOU matter to me and more importantly YOU matter to God who brought me here to be with you."

 

When we reach the point where we ask the question "What's the point?" we are screaming for help!  And here's something we need to be reminded: We MATTER!  If we didn't matter, God would not have brought us to this earth to interact with His people!  Every breath, Every dawn, Every thought is a gift from God to remind us that we matter to Him!

 

My friend and I talked until I was sure my friend would not act on his exit strategy.  As a matter of fact, I called, texted, and visited with my friend to give the reminder that they matter to God and to me and I am glad.  My friend's situation did get better in time, and now God is using my friend to share this experience with others who may be struggling with depression and despair.  It's nothing to be ashamed of.  No need to slap on a happy face and try to "fake it 'til you make it" because hiding it doesn't help.

 

If you need someone to talk with, contact me, contact someone you trust and be honest....completely soul bared honest about what's going on.

 

Consider

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

As we share the Christmas Season with our loved ones, I would ask that you take a moment to consider those for whom the Christmas Season is a painful time.  How could it possibly be a painful time?  Perhaps due to the death of a family member; perhaps because of being new to the area and no friends have been made as yet; perhaps because there are no funds to provide even the basic essentials for their family.

You see, God has blessed each of us and we are to be good stewards of what God has provided.  Consider sharing a bit of your Christmas with someone who isn't so fortunate.  Consider inviting someone who has no family to share with your family.  Consider encouraging and sharing love with those who have family who have died. Consider remind others that the arrival of Christ brings hope, and then share your hope with someone who may be hopeless.  Befriend the person who may not have any friends as yet.

Every person's story is different and every person is in need of something, and it is God's instruction to us to share with others, and in so doing, needs are met.

We are instructed to share each other's burdens.  Therefore, SHARE YOUR CARE!!!
 

Quantity or Quality?

A man of many companions may come to ruin,
    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24 

I like to ponder and think.  One of my favorites things to consider happens to be the words we use and how their meanings have changed with the passing of time.  Take the word "love." It was once a word of intimacy and trust. For example, if one loved one's friend then that friend was completely trusted without question and you knew that friend would NEVER turn their back on you or turn against you.  Now, it is used to describe pretty much any type enjoyment.  

"Friend" is another word which has changed with the years.  There was a time when the term Friend had meaning.  If someone called you "Friend" that was a title you cherished and strove to keep true.  If you remember in Scripture, David and Jonathan had that kind of friendship.  Now, however, the term "friend" has come to mean "I don't know you very well, but I recognize your face or name so we're good."  And we have become so adept at gathering large numbers of "friends" around us so we feel popular.  Even Facebook has become just another place where we garner large numbers of "friends" many of whom we have never met, yet that is one of the markers of popularity.

Let me ask you...would you rather have a large number of "friends" or a few true Friends?  You see, Jesus, even though large groups gathered around Him wherever He went, had only a few true friends.  Remember, Lazarus was the only Friend,Scripture tells us, Jesus wept over.  So consider, what category do you fit into, "friend" or Friend?

 

We Are The Reflections Of Our Friends

Walk with the wise and become wise;
    associate with fools and get in trouble.

Proverbs 13:20 

Quite a number of years ago, I made what I thought was a good friend.  We would talk about everything and we would I was convinced my friend was just that....a true friend.  That is, until I discovered that they had shared some of the things we had discussed with others, and had twisted the discussion to make me appear to be an idiot.  I was ashamed, embarrassed, humiliated, angry, and mostly hurt.  How could someone claiming to be a true friend do such a thing?

Since that time, I admit I have made that mistake again and again, but I have also tried to make sure to have friends who are very wise.  One of these wise friends told me to never allow someone to get close enough to know the dark places in my life.  While I understand the logic, I struggle with this because a true friend is one who knows everything about you and likes you anyway.

The longer I live, the more I have come to realize that I am the reflection of the friends I keep.  If I have friends who choose to get in trouble or stab me in the back, then I reflect the fact that I have been foolish to have them as friends.  If I have friends who want to see me succeed as I want them to succeed, then I will reflect the wisdom of being mutually supportive and respectful.

We reflect those we call "Friend".  Be careful who you allow yourself to reflect.