Mess Up Beyond Help?

Have you ever felt as though you have messed up so badly that you were beyond help?  Perhaps you know someone who has felt this way.  I know I have felt this way more than a few times in my time on this Earth.  And the question that echoed in my mind was "Okay, what now?"  

Listen carefully to the voice of experience (for Experience is a Harsh Teacher); trying to hide your messed up life doesn't work!  You cannot pretend it away.  You can't "fake it 'til you make it."

First, if you have messed up....FACE IT!  Admit it!  Confess it! Most of our screw-ups are because of something WE have said and/or done.  "But if we confess our sins, He will forgive our sins, because we can trust God to do what is right. He will cleanse us from all the wrongs we have done" - 1 John 1:9  

How much will He forgive us?  "He has taken our sins away from us as far as the east is from west" - Psalm 103:12. 

Second, accept that God has forgiven you!  Now this does not mean the consequences of our decisions will suddenly become all bright and sunny.  But accepting God's forgiveness makes our burden not so heavy.

Third, understand that God you are still here on Earth for a reason and God is going to use your experiences to help you and prove that He is God.  "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them" - Romans 8:28

Yes, you may have to slog through some swamp water for a bit, but you WILL come out of it with a renewed sense of purpose.  And it will take patience!  Don't give up!  Keep stepping forward!

What's Wrong With Me?

I do not understand the things I do. I do not do what I want to do, and I do the things I hate. And if I do not want to do the hated things I do, that means I agree that the law is good. But I am not really the one who is doing these hated things; it is sin living in me that does them. Yes, I know that nothing good lives in me—I mean nothing good lives in the part of me that is earthly and sinful. I want to do the things that are good, but I do not do them. I do not do the good things I want to do, but I do the bad things I do not want to do. So if I do things I do not want to do, then I am not the one doing them. It is sin living in me that does those things.

Romans 7:15-20

When I was younger, it seemed as though I was in trouble a LOT!  And by a LOT, I mean every day, many times a day.  It's not that I tried to mess up.....okay, not all the time.  But it seemed like I would find myself in trouble for something I did or something I said more times than not.  And I just could not understand it.  I wanted to do good things and make my parents, teachers, people in general, proud of me or, at least, happy I was around, but that just didn't seem to every work out.

I would sit in church and Sunday School and hear the stories of that make the Disciples sound like they were angelic.  I heard the stories of how the Apostle Paul was the epitome of perfection.  The more I heard these stories and the more I looked at my own life, the more depressed and frustrated I became.  I would get so angry with myself that I would wonder "why bother? I'm NEVER going to get this right. I'm never going to be 'good enough' just like I had been told so many times before."  

And it wasn't until after college that I actually looked deeper into this passage.  Up until that point, I had read the Scriptures like I read the ingredients on a cereal box (in my mind it sounded like Charlie Brown's Teacher "Blah, blah, blah" in my head).  Imagine my response when I realized that this venerated Apostle, who had been shown to me as if he were perfection incarnate, comes right out and says, "Why do I keep doing the bad things I don't want to do?"  BAM!!!  The golden veneer shattered and the truth was released!  Paul was just a human being like me.  Paul had the same issues that I did.  Paul made mistakes, was argumentative (he and Barnabas argued so violently that they went their separate ways), so why had I wasted ALL this time beating myself up?

Because I had not learned that my human nature did not change when I accepted Christ.  My human nature didn't change when I was baptized.  My DESIRE changed because I wanted to do right, but my human nature did not change because my soul is still trapped in this human body.

This is why Jesus gave His took my place on the cross.  This is why His blood paid the price for my sin.  So I can learn to stop beating myself up with my past and my seeming talent to screw life up!  

Where Do I Go From Here?

Afterward the Lord asked Cain, “Where is your brother? Where is Abel?”

“I don’t know,” Cain responded. “Am I my brother’s guardian?”

But the Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground! Now you are cursed and banished from the ground, which has swallowed your brother’s blood. No longer will the ground yield good crops for you, no matter how hard you work! From now on you will be a homeless wanderer on the earth.”

Cain replied to the Lord, “My punishment is too great for me to bear!  You have banished me from the land and from your presence; you have made me a homeless wanderer. Anyone who finds me will kill me!”

The Lord replied, “No, for I will give a sevenfold punishment to anyone who kills you.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain to warn anyone who might try to kill him.

~Genesis 4:9-15

Cain had made a VERY bad choice.  He took a life out of anger.  Cain made an even worse mistake in taking the life of his own flesh and blood...out of anger.  When God confronted Cain, notice how Cain's sarcasm is used as a defense: “I don’t know,” Cain responded. “Am I my brother’s guardian?”

When you are dealing with God, it is NEVER a good idea to use sarcasm, especially as a defense regarding our own actions.  God called Cain out on the fact that Abel's very lifeblood cried out to Him from the dirt, and Cain knew it was over.  God pronounced His judgement and told Cain that from here out, life was going to be painful.  

But also notice something about God's Mercy!  When God's judgement is pronounced, Cain told God that his life would be too hard for him to live.  People would kill him if they found out that he took a life, especially his own brother's life.  And as a wanderer, he would be left to fend for himself which would leave him vulnerable to thieves, bandits, and thugs.  But God's Mercy is shown when He tells Cain that ANYONE who does him harm will be punished SEVEN TIMES worse than anything they had done to Cain. And to prove His point, God put a mark on Cain.

Have you ever messed up SO badly that you thought your life and usefulness were over?  Have you even made such a bad decision that you wondered how you would ever recover? I have.  It's not a good feeling at all!  You wonder why God even allows another breath...yet He does.  Is it for His own grins and giggles watching our torment?  No.  God has two reasons for keeping us here: 1) So we can learn from our mistakes and, thus, help others to avoid making the same mistakes, 2) Because God is in the miracle business and can make diamonds out of lumps of coal!

You see, we demonize Cain for his rash decision and for just being a bad guy.  But God uses Cain's story to remind us that, even though we mess up and must accept the consequences for our decisions, God is STILL merciful to us!  He doesn't have to be, but loves us so much that He rains down His mercy on us every day!