"You're Right, But I'm Not Listening"

Listen to advice and accept correction,
    and in the end you will be wise.

Proverbs 19:20

Have you ever had someone tell you that you're counsel was correct and then kept to their "comfort zone" because actually implementing the counsel would create a conflict?  Or you try to help someone stop being a doormat, yet they choose to remain a doormat?

 

Why is that?  Why do we seem to insist that wisdom is irrelevant?  Why to we lie and say "I agree" knowing that everything will remain the same?  Why do we claim to respect wisdom yet refuse to heed it?

 

Because we are a stubborn bunch.  Because we don't like conflict.  Because it's easier to live miserably and just roll on being used than it is to change for the better.

 

Here's an analogy that was used on me: 

 "If you break your leg, you have a choice to make: go to the doctor and have it set or ignore it and hope it will heal on its own.  If you choose to ignore it, you could get gangrene which you will have to either go to the hospital or die.  If you choose to let the doctor set your leg, it's going to hurt, but it will heal properly.  You will have to endure some discomfort for a bit, but eventually you will be able to walk, run, dance and enjoy life.  It's YOUR choice!"

 

I've used this analogy several times when counseling others.  Some have listened and made some tough decisions.  Some have decided to hear but not listen, and are still miserable.

 

Remember when Jesus told the Rich Young Ruler what he must do to receive eternal life?  Jesus told him to make some tough decisions and changes, but the man refused and walked away miserable.

 

Consider today if there are some tough decisions that need to be made and are you willing to make them.  

People Can Be Parasites?

No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

When I was growing up we had woods behind our house.  I would spend countless hours tromping through them while my imagination would run wild with possible adventures.  And every single time I came home from a tromp, there was Mom reminding me to strip down in the garage and immediately get a shower where I was to check for ticks.

Ticks are parasites!  They mooch off of others constantly, and can cause lots of destruction to their host.  But do you think the tick cares?  Nope, they will simply toddle off to find another host to destroy.  Parasites need a host to feed on, and will ultimately wreak havoc with the hose until the host expels the parasite.  Sometimes expelling the parasite is painful, because the parasite doesn't WANT to leave!  The parasite has dug in and made itself right at home.

Did you know that people can be parasites?  They will come into your life, drain you emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially.  They will give you all sorts of sob stories why they need to stay and mooch off of you.  And we will be tempted to allow them, telling ourselves that we are doing a good thing by letting them stay and by providing for them without any expectation.  We will be tempted to fall for their sad stories and our Christian nature will want to be helpful.  

After all, Jesus helped the down and out folks didn't He?  Jesus reached out to those society had rejected, true enough.  BUT Jesus did not carry them through their lives so they didn't have to do anything but mooch.  

• The blind, Jesus restored his sight, which took away his excuse to not provide for himself.  
• The leper, Jesus healed, which took away his excuse to not provide for himself.
• The lame, Jesus healed, which took away his excuse to not provide for himself.
• The paralyzed, Jesus healed, which took away his excuse to not provide for himself.

A parasite is anything that latches on to you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage. They’re usually in the form of addictions, like gambling, drugs, or pornography. They promise pleasure but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money. They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love. Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present. If you love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you don’t, it will destroy you. 

In all Jesus' ministry, Jesus took away peoples' excuses.  Jesus promised to never let us get pushed past our limits, but He will let us get pushed right up to the brink of our limits.  Some will wait until the parasite and their tales of woe end up draining the resources, patience, and even the relationships.  

The Apostle Paul reminds us in 2 Thessalonians 3:10: "Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: 'Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.'” 

When you take away the source of their indulgence, the parasite will leave.  Far too many people have found ways to overcome their circumstances and be productive for there to be excuses why others "can't make their own way."  

Helen Keller was blind, deaf AND mute.  Yet made a substantial contribution to our society through her determination and efforts.

Stephen Hawking is a quadriplegic, yet uses his mind to make great scientific progress.  

We see people every single day who, when put in a position where they have to do for themselves, do some incredibly creative and remarkable things to provide for themselves.

If you are an enabler, ask yourself how enabling is helping that person!

Want your joy and happiness to return?  Remove your ticks!

Pete's VERY Bad Day!

So they arrested Jesus and led him to the high priest’s home. And Peter followed at a distance. The guards lit a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat around it, and Peter joined them there. A servant girl noticed him in the firelight and began staring at him. Finally she said, “This man was one of Jesus’ followers!”

Luke 22:54-56

Pete was not having a good day.  His best friend had just been arrested and hauled off to bond court, and the rest of his friends had disappeared like a burp in a tornado.  Pete followed the guards to the bond court building but waited outside.  Some of the guards decided to warm themselves with a little fire and Pete joined them.  Then some girl started yapping about how Pete was one of the Accused's buddies!  

Pete had a choice to make and neither option was going to go well for him.  He could admit to being part of the Accused's gang and face the same consequences or he could deny everything and lose all face with those he counted on so closely.  What would you have done? 

Pete was NOT having a good day.  The choice he made was the choice he had been told he would make (and the choice he adamantly declared he would NEVER make).  And because of Pete's decision, his best friend was killed and his other friends went back to their lives.  But Pete knew.

But here's the part we tend to forget. Pete had gone back to his fishing career with his partners and while they were pulling up empty nets for the umpteenth time Jesus called out to them and told them to try the other side.  When they did, they had so many fish that Pete's boat started to sink and they had to call another boat to come help.  Eventually, Pete figured out that the man giving them advice was his best friend, Jesus, so Pete jumped out of the boat and swam back to shore where he found Jesus cooking fish for breakfast.

Jesus also had a choice at this point.  He could tell Peter to what a freaking idiot he was for denying Him and tell Pete EXACTLY what he should do to himself (and the boat he rowed in on), or Jesus could tell Peter what Peter needed at that point....another chance.  Jesus reminded Peter that he was still loved by Jesus and that he was forgiven.  Because of Jesus' decision to give Peter a second chance, Peter was instrumental in building the ministry that became the church.

Let me ask you something...ever made a decision your regretted?  Me too.  LOTS of them.  Ever been given a second chance?  Yes.  Now for the hard questions: Have you even had someone make a bad decision that hurt you deeply?  I have.  Have you ever offered them a second chance? 

Where Do I Go From Here?

Afterward the Lord asked Cain, “Where is your brother? Where is Abel?”

“I don’t know,” Cain responded. “Am I my brother’s guardian?”

But the Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground! Now you are cursed and banished from the ground, which has swallowed your brother’s blood. No longer will the ground yield good crops for you, no matter how hard you work! From now on you will be a homeless wanderer on the earth.”

Cain replied to the Lord, “My punishment is too great for me to bear!  You have banished me from the land and from your presence; you have made me a homeless wanderer. Anyone who finds me will kill me!”

The Lord replied, “No, for I will give a sevenfold punishment to anyone who kills you.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain to warn anyone who might try to kill him.

~Genesis 4:9-15

Cain had made a VERY bad choice.  He took a life out of anger.  Cain made an even worse mistake in taking the life of his own flesh and blood...out of anger.  When God confronted Cain, notice how Cain's sarcasm is used as a defense: “I don’t know,” Cain responded. “Am I my brother’s guardian?”

When you are dealing with God, it is NEVER a good idea to use sarcasm, especially as a defense regarding our own actions.  God called Cain out on the fact that Abel's very lifeblood cried out to Him from the dirt, and Cain knew it was over.  God pronounced His judgement and told Cain that from here out, life was going to be painful.  

But also notice something about God's Mercy!  When God's judgement is pronounced, Cain told God that his life would be too hard for him to live.  People would kill him if they found out that he took a life, especially his own brother's life.  And as a wanderer, he would be left to fend for himself which would leave him vulnerable to thieves, bandits, and thugs.  But God's Mercy is shown when He tells Cain that ANYONE who does him harm will be punished SEVEN TIMES worse than anything they had done to Cain. And to prove His point, God put a mark on Cain.

Have you ever messed up SO badly that you thought your life and usefulness were over?  Have you even made such a bad decision that you wondered how you would ever recover? I have.  It's not a good feeling at all!  You wonder why God even allows another breath...yet He does.  Is it for His own grins and giggles watching our torment?  No.  God has two reasons for keeping us here: 1) So we can learn from our mistakes and, thus, help others to avoid making the same mistakes, 2) Because God is in the miracle business and can make diamonds out of lumps of coal!

You see, we demonize Cain for his rash decision and for just being a bad guy.  But God uses Cain's story to remind us that, even though we mess up and must accept the consequences for our decisions, God is STILL merciful to us!  He doesn't have to be, but loves us so much that He rains down His mercy on us every day!