Self Care

But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.

Luke 5:16

 What happens when your forget to recharge your cellphone?  What happens when you let the car run out of gas and don't fill it up?  What happens when you go and go and go and go, from project to project, activity to activity, eating "bad for you" stuff?  Answer....you know.

Yet we do these kind of things more than we want to admit.  We will, quite literally, keep going until we drop and then wonder why we are so exhausted all the time.  We drink more and stronger coffee.  We'll pound down gallons of energy drinks.  Why? Because, well let's face it, we're not the brightest critters.

I am fully convinced that Abba put animals on this earth, (BEFORE He brought us into the picture) to teach us!  For example, when our pup, Woody Bear, gets tired he will simply lay down and take a nap.  Guess what? No alarm is set. When he's rested, he wakes up.  Well....unless there's a snack to be had.

So why do we drive ourselves so hard?  Do we REALLY think we can fulfill Abba's plan for us in record time, thus changing His plan for us?  Let me come clean here: I like helping people usually through listening and offering counsel.  However, I am also very bad about not taking time to rest, relax and recharge. This usually leads to feeling burned out, resentful, irritable (ask my bride), sleepless nights...but I'm trying to help people which is good, right?  At what cost?

Look at the life of Jesus.  He would go away frequently to pray, relax and recharge.  He would spend time appreciating the creation. He encouraged His Disciples to do the same.  So, if Jesus needed to take time away for self-care, who are we to believe we don't need to?

Rest and Recharge

It is useless for you to work so hard
    from early morning until late at night,
anxiously working for food to eat;
    for God gives rest to his loved ones.

Psalm 127:2 

 

One of the great gifts God gives us is rest.  God didn't create us to work all the time.  He created us in His image, and God sanctified time to rest.

Tired of Being Tired?

“Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives. The burden that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 

 

Are you tired of trying?  Are you tired of waiting?  Are you mentally exhausted from trying to figure life out?  Have you gotten fed up with wondering if your efforts are worth it?  Have you ever wondered if all your investment of time, energy, anxiety and frustration are going to eventually pay off? Welcome to the Club!

 

Look at the words of Jesus.  If you are tired and are over burdened, go to Him and He will give you rest!  Wherever Jesus went, people brought to Him their burdens of their existence: sick, lame, possessed, needing insight, needing hope, and He gave them rest.  He didn't lecture them on Systematic Theology.  He didn't shove religion down their throats. He didn't deliver a treatise on Doctrines or Systems or Methods or Rituals...He gave them rest!  Rest from the burdens of life.  Rest from the things that bind us to this cycle of depression, obsession, worry, irritation, frustration.  

And guess what?  He was called Lord and Savior and each found rest.

 

It's Okay To Rest

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28 

 

Have you ever thought about what it truly means to actually REST?  Do you really know what it means to RELAX?  We know what it means to work, don't we?  Some of us have the tendency to work even on "vacation."  Jesus tells those of us who work and are feeling the weight of constant struggle, to come to Him and He will give us rest.

 

Here's an interesting nugget of information:  The word translated "rest" is the Greek word Anapauo which is a verb.  From elementary school grammar we remember that verbs indicate action.  Anapauo literally means "to cause or permit one to cease from any movement or labor in order to recover and collect his strength; to refresh; to keep quiet, of calm and patient expectation."  Thus, when Jesus gives us rest, He is giving us permission to recover and collect our strength, to refresh and to keep quiet.

 

Jesus understood what it was to be kept so busy that you may or may not have a chance to even get a bite to eat.  Yet, Jesus also understood the need to have a break from busyness.

 

Okay, I have a confession to make.  I have learned to take time to relax and recharge my body.  However, getting my mind to relax and recharge is like trying to herd fleas.  I struggle with settling my mind.  I can sit in my recliner and crochet, which is how I relax, yet my mind is busy with my schedule of appointments coming up, the bills I need to pay, trying to figure out how to pay the bills I need to pay, concerns about my parents, my concern for those I have spent time counseling, and the list bounces around my brain like a rubber ball down the interstate.

 

In order to truly rest and recharge, we have to train ourselves to give our concerns to God and LET THEM GO!  We were not made to keep the stress and anxiety we take on ourselves for long before our health begins to feel the toll, our relationships also feel the toll, every aspect of our lives will feel the toll.  We must train ourselves, therefore, on how to rest and relax and recharge. 

 

What better Valentine gift can we have than the gift of being able to rest and relax?

I'll Rest When I'm Dead!

He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside waters of rest.
    He restores my soul.

Psalm 23:2-3

 

Let me very up front about this, I LOVE my job!  I really do.  In fact, I can only think of one job I'd enjoy more....having the opportunity to teach others to do this job!  I truly believe God put me here, to do this thing I get to do, because He knew how much I would love it.

 

That's not to say there are times when my schedule doesn't get a bit hectic. That's not to say there aren't times when some situations are emotionally, physically and spiritually draining to the point of exhaustion.  That's not to say every single day is like sitting in a hot tub eating chocolate ice cream.  There are times when I simply crave having time to get away and be quiet. 

 

Most of my job is listening.  I listen when no one thinks I am paying the least bit of attention.  I listen when people think I can't hear them.  Why?  Because it is in those times that people let their guard down and they speak freely without feeling the need to say, "Sorry Padre."  I listen in order to learn.  I learn in order to be able to help.  I help because that's what God has put me here to do.  Believe it or not, one of the things I hear quite often...how many vacation days a person has built up because they "never take time off."  

 

I have started using my vacation days.  Because I want take time to rest and be restored.  Plus I have personal projects I want to accomplish. But mainly because I need to follow my own counsel: "You have to take care of YOU. If you don't take care of you then you cannot take care of anyone else."  So my goal this year is to start taking care of me so God can use me to take care of others.   

Take Time To Rest

I find rest in God;
    only he gives me hope.
He is my rock and my salvation.
    He is my defender;
    I will not be defeated.
My honor and salvation come from God.
    He is my mighty rock and my protection.

People, trust God all the time.
    Tell him all your problems,
    because God is our protection. 

Psalm 62:5-8 

I have to admit it, there are times when I have trouble sleeping.  I will toss and turn, never being able to get comfortable, and when the alarm sounds I hate the world!  Why?  Because in those times, my mind and body did not get the rest needed to refresh and restore and recharge.  And here's a fun little factoid: God did not design us to charge through life at full steam ahead all the time.  And yet, we try to do just that.  When we take a "vacation" is it restful or filled with activities and scurrying from place to place trying to fit a year's worth of interest into a few days?  

Let me ask you something, and I am smacking myself between the eyes as well, when was the last time you simply took time to be still and quiet in God's incredible Cathedral that He created for us and simply enjoy it.  No plans; no schedules; no need to dash off to some other activity...just resting and enjoying.

I have a list of things I want to do and places I want to see, but I also have one thing I MUST do and that is learn to rest in God so He can recharge me and keep my focus where it should be instead of that mental list I keep running through and planning.  

Think about this:  If the Pit Dweller can keep us doing everything EXCEPT rest, he knows we will burn out and become ineffective because that is his plan.  God knew we couldn't keep that pace, so He commanded us to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy, because that was the day God rested. 

Rest

Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree. But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, “Get up and eat!” He looked around and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water! So he ate and drank and lay down again. Then the angel of the Lord came again and touched him and said, “Get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead will be too much for you.”
So he got up and ate and drank, and the food gave him enough strength to travel forty days and forty nights to Mount Sinai, the mountain of God.
1 Kings 19:5-8 

Elijah was under a LOT of stress.  Queen Jezebel had promised to take his life, so Elijah became fearful and ran away far into the wilderness.  When he was exhausted, he lay down and slept.  He was worried about Queen Jezebel's threat more than he remembered that God is the one in control.  And guess what?  God took care of Elijah!  He provided food, drink, and safety while he rested.

Remember that on the seventh day, even God rested.  We are not designed to charge ahead without rest.  We need time to recharge.  We need time to be restored.  We need time away.  Therefore, I will be away for the rest of the week.  I will be back on Monday.  

It is my prayer that each of you will also make time to rest, recharge and be restored.  

Can You Do It All?

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:2 

 

You know the routine:

  *  wake up before the sun

  *  put the pet

  *  garb up for the gym

  *  grab drink, power bar, and run to the door.

  *  workout for at least an hour trying to do better than before

  *  quick shower

  *  quick change into work attire

  *  head to the car with gym bag in one hand, power drink in the other, and phone glued to your ear.

  *  stop for coffee on way to meeting.  Fume about having to wait.  Phone still glued to ear.

  *  Dash in to meeting and spend the entire time listening with one ear while checking schedule, sending texts, etc.

  *  Dash off to next meeting.  Wonder why the speaker is taking so long.

  *  Run by office to get some files and scamper off to do "good works" activities.

 

And on and on this goes.  Remember when technology was supposed to help us slow down and have more free time?  Instead, not only have we gotten busier but we actually believe that we STILL aren't doing enough.

 

And we wonder, in all our busyness, why we are crabby, irritable, stressed, have insomnia, and other health issues. 

 

And sadly, many people do are doing "the work of the church" are among the most guilty.

 

How many jobs did God give Adam and Eve?  One!  Tend the garden.

Did Jesus and the Disciples jump into the fast lane to go from place to place?  Nope, then walked.

Did God command us to "be constantly busy"?  Nope. He tells us several times that we are to 'Be Still.'

Take time to slow down and enjoy the gift God has given us of life, family, friends, and this Earth!

 

Can You Feel It?

This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
    he is my God, and I trust him.

Psalm 91:2 

 

Remember the first day you started that new job you wanted so badly?  You were excited.  You wanted to do the best job ever!  You did everything so you could learn how to do your job more efficiently!  You had a passion; a drive; and boundless energy!  And you couldn't wait to get our of bed every day so you could go do the job you loved so much.

 

You meet some of the more senior staff members who look a LOT older than they truly are; they don't seem to have a drive or passion for the job, it's as if they're just plodding along until retirement; they have a negative outlook on everything and everyone.  And you promise yourself that you will never get that bad.

 

And 10 years in, you suddenly realize that you're moving slower, you are getting irritated more easily, you seem to just go through the motions, and you cannot wait for the end of the day so you can just get away from this place.  And on the way home you get stuck in traffic, then your spouse calls to remind you of the events, plays, practices, performances of your children you need to attend.  And you have to stop for fuel and to grab something to feed everyone, and you have a major presentation to make in the morning.  And the list goes on and on and on.  You can't sleep; you can't relax; you don't understand why you've become the person you swore you'd never become.

 

Think about this: God did more than any of us could ever accomplish in 100 lifetimes, and He did it in just 6 days.  And then He RESTED!

 

Think about this:  Jesus made if a regular practice to get away from everyone to rest, recharge, and pray.

 

We need to take time to unwind, rest, recharge, and recover.  But do we?  I've said this before and I'll say it again, if your "vacation" is crammed with so many activities that you have to come back to work just to recover from it.....you did not have a vacation!

 

No one can do it all!  God did not design us to work all the time!  God did not make our bodies indestructible. God did not tell us to rest on the 7th day as a suggestion.  God knows that we will burn out.  And when we burn out we begin to make mistakes, our mood changes; our relationships are wounded and sometimes destroyed.

 

Take time to rest, relax, recharge, and be restored!

Come Sail Away

But [Jesus] often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.

Luke 5:16 

 

It's tiring being on the go constantly.  It's exhausting when your emotions are poured out continually.  It's almost debilitating when your mind will not slow down.  Why?

 

Sleep becomes elusive or nonexistent.

Energy is depleted because no time is available to restore.

Emotions become numbed or just a constant state of irritation.

And we turn into Zombies.

 

Even when we plan time away....we may plan it, pay for it, and try to take it, but that doesn't not mean others will respect it.  Phone rings.  Text dings. And your heart sinks another notch.  And we wonder why we see so many advertisements for sleep aids (new mattresses you can finance for 5 or more years, pillows that cost a month's salary, endless pills, serums, scents, and sound devices) yet we are still exhausted?

 

Read today's verse again...slowly.  Let the words sink in.  Let the truth of the simple message fill your spirit.  Even JESUS took time away.  And notice the key word: OFTEN!

 

He didn't go to where all the people were when He withdrew.  He didn't fill His time away with a gazillion activities.  He didn't go to expensive resorts where He was waited on hand and foot.  Jesus withdrew to a place where He could spend time without distraction.

 

Who are we to live differently? 

Tired of Trying?

Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.

Luke 5:16

Have you ever given of yourself to the point that you were just tired of trying?  

Have you ever tried but felt as though you were just banging your head against a stone? 

Have you ever felt as though the more you do, the more is expected, and the less your efforts are appreciated, much less noticed?

 

Yeah....me too.  

 

I like to think and contemplate.  In order to contemplate, I need time where I can be quiet and block out distractions.  It's part of my introverted nature and contemplation allows me to recharge and regain perspective.  When it's been a while since I have had such an opportunity to recharge, I begin feeling overwhelmed and burned out, which impacts the way I engage others.

 

But I cannot even begin to imagine how Jesus felt with CROWDS of people following Him around always wanting Him to teach them, heal the sick, perform miracles, and on and one the demands would go.  And just having all those people crowded around so close would make me claustrophobic.  People constantly clamoring for His attention....Church Folk constantly trying to discredit Him...His Disciples constantly questioning Him seeking insights and favors from Him.....   If we read the Scriptures carefully, we see that Jesus gave of Himself (and gave and gave and gave and gave).  

 

How are we to deal with the times when we feel burned out?  

Here are a few practical ways:

       1.  Get away to someplace you feel comfortable and that is quiet.

       2.  Write!  Don't worry about making sense, just get your thoughts, concerns, frustrations, irritations, exhaustions out.  Don't try to "sound holy" because God ALREADY knows what you're thinking and feeling.

       3.  Spend time walking and looking at God's creation of nature. (I like going somewhere where there is running water).

      4.  If you feel sleepy, then sleep.  Putting pressure on your time away is not truly taking time away.

      5.  Leave your gadgets at home!!!

      6.  Most importantly, talk with God about EVERYTHING that is on your mind and heart.

This list is in no way exhaustive, but if you can do this on regularly, you will begin to notice that you are able to handle life with more insight and resilience. 

 

Time Off? WHAT?

Then Jesus left Galilee and went north to the region of Tyre. He didn’t want anyone to know which house he was staying in

Mark 7:24 

 

 

Are you a workaholic? Do you think the job will not function unless you are there?  Have you ever neglected to take time off because you wanted to be "that person" who is always present and accounted for?

 

It's time to take a break.  Not just a break from the office, but a break where you can get away, rest, recharge, and heal.  Think you can't?  Think you don't have time?  Figure you will wait until later?  

 

Point to remember: "Later" never seems to arrive.

 

Even Jesus frequently took time off to get away and recharge and pray.  

 

Monday, I will be doing just that.  

Captain Busyness

As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”

  But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42

Multi-tasking has become our mantra.  We work late, get home late, eat late, work some more until the wee hours of the morning, jump into bed expecting sleep to be waiting on us, then we remember that project we are supposed to have finished tomorrow, so we're up again, and on and on and on.  

Then we wonder why we're tired.  So we start pounding down the coffee, energy drinks, and push ourselves ever harder to do more of everything.....EXCEPT relax.  It's as if we have lost the ability to actually relax!

In today's passage, Martha is trying to be THE perfect hostess by greeting Jesus at the door and then off to the kitchen to prepare the meal, back out to set the table, back into the kitchen to peel potatos and carrots, shell the beans, make the bread, baste the meat, back to put napkins and silverware on the table......Martha was BUSY!

Mary, on the other hand, wanted to learn from Jesus.  She took the time for the IMPORTANT instead of all the busyness.  Martha decided it was time to call Mary out right in front of Jesus, so she comes blustering into the room, INTERRUPTS Jesus, and demands that Jesus make Mary leave the important to help her with the busyness.  Look at Jesus' response: "My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details!"  

Jesus chides Martha for focusing on the busyness of life.  Notice also that Mary isn't sitting on her backside being lazy, rather she is sitting at the feet of Jesus and she is LEARNING from Him.  Tired of being tired?  Let go of the busyness and learn to rest and relax.  Spend time with your loved ones.  Busyness is learned and has become ingrained in us.  Isn't it about time to learn how to rest, relax and recharge? 

But I'm NOT A Workaholic!

Don’t wear yourself out trying to get rich.
    Be wise enough to know when to quit.

~Proverbs 23:4

I love my job! There's just no other way I can say it. God has finally shown me a niche where I not only fit, but love fitting into it.  I get to talk with people, offer counsel or perhaps a perspective.  I get to share with them from my lifetime of doing life wrong.  I get to build friendships.  I get to help others who might be struggling.  And I get to drink a LOT of coffee!

In my previous jobs, I could not wait to get home and leave work behind for a few brief hours before having to go "back to the salt mines."  Because I saw my job as just a means to get a paycheck, advancement was neither available nor encouraged.  In short, most every job I have ever held has been a job I dreamed of doing something else. Yet my job now is not a job because it is a joy!  I cannot even dream of doing anything else!

With having a joy instead of a job does have a downside (I heard you gasp).  When you love what you do, the risk of wanting to do it ALL the time is very real!  

One of the things I get to do is teach the New Hires about Law Enforcement Stress Awareness.  And one of the items we discuss is the fact that, while many Deputies work extra duty to make ends meet or for some extra money, no one can work ALL the time without burning out.  And I am having to learn to example the whole "don't-work-all-the-time" point.  You see, even when I am officially off-the-clock, I am still working, thinking about work, learning ways to do more and do it better, reading books about work, talking about work.  In short, I get paid to work X number of hours, but I have this habit of working well beyond the X and pushing more toward the Z.  

I have heard many times before that "the bosses notice when you put in extra hours."  I am slowly realizing that if I am doing my job to the best of my ability, then I will also set aside time to rest and recharge.  Let me give you the practical example that smacked me between the eyes: Your cellphone (and most people have them) works as it is supposed to when the battery is fully charged.  What happens when the battery drains?  You either have to recharge it or it will cease to function.  And we are no different!  We NEED to take time away to rest and recharge or we will cease to function effectively.

Think about it this way: God took a day off from creating this Earth and commanded us to take a day off as well.  Who are we to tell God we're too busy to rest?

Rescue Me!

As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”

But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:38-42

     We are a busy bunch, aren't we?  I am guilty of filling my calendar with appointments and activities to the point that I become exhausted, drained, and irritated.  I also feel guilty when I can't be everywhere every time to help everyone.  But God...

     You see, nowhere in Scripture does God tell us to work ourselves into exhaustion!  Not even when doing "good work."  Paul tells us that we should not grow weary of doing good, and I had always taken that to mean I should always be busy doing SOMETHING good.  But when I get tired (my bride can attest to this) I get.....how can I put this......testy.  But God has shown me in the past the busy-ness will do more damage than good.  Each of us MUST take time for ourselves!

     In today's passage, Martha is bustling around getting the house and meal ready.  All these are good things!  She is busy doing good works.  But notice that she gets irritated that Mary is taking time to sit at the feet of Jesus to learn and relax.  Jesus reminds Martha that being busy drowns out the voice of the Savior and takes our focus OFF of what is important!  

     One of the things I learned in the Army was a very simple lesson: "If you want to help rescue others, start with yourself!"  Take care of you so you can take care of others!  Let's face it, Jesus took time away from His ministry to recover. God is all powerful and can do everything AND even God took a day to rest, so who are we to say we can do better.

     Therefore, while I am still more than willing to help and minister, I will be taking time to recover and rest too (away from the phone and away from the appointment calendar).  How about you?

Flock Of Seagulls!

He lets me rest in green meadows;
    he leads me beside peaceful streams.

~Psalm 23:2 

 

For all who have entered into God’s rest 

have rested from their labors, just as God 

did after creating the world.

~Hebrews 4:10

 

Labor Day is upon us, and for many it is truly a day of Labor.  For many more it is a day with a dizzying schedule of activities.  And, true, for some it is a day for various forms of over-indulgence (and debauchery?).  But for the wise, the truly wise, it is an opportunity to be Biblical and relax.  

 

I am one of those people who is guilty of scheduling more than I should and when not working, I am thinking of work or planning some meeting or class.  Rest doesn't come easy to us because we have been programmed over the years that "rest" is an EVIL word and a habit for the unambitious and lazy.  So.....according to today's verses, God's intention was to make us unambitious and lazy so WE have to show Him who is boss by driving on until we die?

 

I am learning to relax.  I am learning to WANT to rest.  I am learning that constant stress will destroy more than just your sanity and attitude, it can destroy your relationships, your health, and can even do worse.  Of late, I have felt the pull of the need to get away for a few hours and spend time with my bride doing something I always find relaxing...spending time with my gullfriends (and there are usually many).  That's right...I said I have many gullfriends!  And they seem to like it when I go feed them.  

 

 

 

They flock to me and are very gentle when they take the bread from my hands, from my shoulders and even from the top of my head (and I do wear a cap, just in case they think my bald head is a bombing target). But convincing my bride to come has been QUITE the challenge these last several years.

 

Even so, I urge each of you to make time to relax.  Relaxing doesn't always mean sitting still and doing nothing.  There are relaxing activities such as going for a stroll, riding a bicycle (for those who still have their balance), gardening, reading, going out to eat, laying back and watching the stars, looking for shells and shark's teeth on the beach, the potential of activities is endless.  Find something that you find peaceful and spend time relaxing away from the noise and stress of the work place.

 

If you haven't noticed...there's been a theme these last few days!