It's NOT Okay To Pretend To Be Okay, Part 2

When I kept silent,
    my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long.

Psalm 32:3 

 

I remember being told to "Suck it up!" when I was dealing with an emotionally traumatic situation.  "Stop acting weak!" was another one I've been told.  Then there's the ever popular "Don't be a wuss! Be A MAN!".  Why do we think such things are good advice?  Is it because emotions can get messy and inconvenient and we don't know how to deal with them?  Are we afraid of feelings?

 

When we suppress our emotions in order to pretend to appear okay to the casual observer, our bodies will eventually rebel and we will begin to display the symptoms such as Depression, Despair, Unending Sadness.  We will begin to gravitate toward self destructive behaviors like alcoholism, overeating, not eating, etc. in an attempt to dull the pain.  We will become mechanical, unable to genuinely laugh or smile.  We will experience inability to sleep or sleep too much.  We will feel constantly fatigued with then inability to get restful sleep.

 

We suppress our feelings so we don't appear weak or foolish. We suppress our feelings so we won't be a bother or burden to others who "won't understand."  But let me tell you something I have learned, and am learning, the hard way: I may not understand exactly how you feel, but I do understand how I feel when I am overwhelmed and that allows me to be of help if permitted.

 

When God breathed life into Adam and Eve, He infused us with feelings and emotions.  God could very well have created us as little emotionless robots.  

 

When Jesus walked among us, He was not devoid of emotions.  

*  Jesus prayed with loud cries and tears before His crucifixion. 

*  He wept for His friend Lazarus.  

*  He wept loudly for Jerusalem's pending destruction.

 

"In the days of His flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to Him who was able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverence" - Hebrews 5:7

 

"Jesus wept" John 11:35

 

Jesus didn't worry about what people thought about Him, so why should we? So how should we deal with this issue?  

 

1.  Take of the mask!

2. If you feel more comfortable, write it out.  I do this quite a lot.  I have lots of books I have filled with my thoughts, writing helps me get things into perspective.

3. Talk with people you trust.  This may mean actually reaching out and asking "Can we talk?"

4. Be aware of how you are acting.  If you find you are withdrawing from people, reach out to people you trust. To be honest, if I know someone is intentionally shutting me out, I will give them the courtesy of keeping my distance until they are ready.

5. Pray!  I cannot emphasize this enough.  We are told over and over to turn everything over to God and let Him deal with it, that includes our emotions.  

 

This list isn't exhaustive, by any means, but it's a start.

 

While it may seem more challenging to face our pain and sorrow instead of simply suppressing it, when we suppress it, we are telling God that He isn't good enough or strong enough to handle our burden.  We are telling God that we are better at handling it than Him and, in so doing, we build a wall between God and us.  The choice is yours.