It's NOT Okay To Pretend To Be Okay Part 1

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

"It's Okay Not To Be Okay. It's NOT Okay To Pretend To Be Okay When You're Not Okay."  I posted this on Facebook earlier this week and discovered that a number of people actually said it was easier to pretend than to be honest about how they felt.  Here's something to consider, easier isn't always the best plan.  For example, if you got a cut while preparing a meal, it's easier to pretend it didn't hurt or happen than it is to stop what you're doing, find a bandage, get some first-aid medicine, bandage the wound, and put everything back....right?  

 

Society tells us that we should not burden everyone else with our emotions, especially when we are overwhelmed, hurting, shocked, horrified, or anything else other than happy.  Why? Because people have this mentality that we are less than human if we have emotions.  If we aren't happy, then it's our fault!  Therefore, we try to cauterize our emotions, slap on a fake smile and go through the motions of our day, even if we are an wreck on the inside.  Where did we get that idea?

 

I am guilty of pushing people away when I am trying to deal with emotional situations, because I need to figure things out before I share what's on my mind.  I will reach out if I begin to feel overwhelmed or need some perspective. But for the most part, I need to internalize things until I can make some sense of them.  That's part of my being an Introvert. 

 

Now I can tell you from my experience and observations, that when we pretend we're okay when we're not, over time some weird things will begin to happen:  

• We will eventually develop a jaded perception of everything and everyone, believing no one will help because no one cares.
• We also begin to become cynical having little patience with others.
•  We will withdraw from everyone because they don't understand or because we don't want to be hurt again.
• We will, in a perceived act of self preservation, give the impression of being cold and unfeeling.

The list goes on and on, but the fact remains: We are humans, thus we have feelings.

 

Let me leave you with one last thought for today: "Speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor, for we are members of one another" (Ephesians 4:25).