Are You Scared Yet?

Where God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love drives out fear. It is punishment that makes a person fear, so love is not made perfect in the person who fears.

1 John 4:18 

 

Today is Halloween.  Today is the day we celebrate all things scary and frightening.  I admit that I enjoy suspenseful movies.  But the slash and gore.....not in the least.  And, because it IS Halloween, I do enjoy seeing the creativity of the costumes.

 

But think about fear for a moment.  We fear many things, don't we?  We fear financial ruin.  We fear for our families.  We fear for our jobs.  We fear for our health. And if you've ever been in the car with me, you fear I'll start singing.  Fear is not a bad thing unless it becomes our main focus.

 

If it fear that keeps us from getting too close to the edge of a cliff.  It is fear that keeps most of us from doing stupid things like sticking your hand in a bear trap.  It is fear that prevents most of us from ending up on "World's Dumbest" programs.  Fear is good sometimes.  But when fear becomes our primary focus, we have a problem.  

 

You see, God's love drives out fear.  It doesn't just ask fear to leave, God's love DRIVES it out!  But that only happens when we focus on Him and His love for us!  When fear sneaks in and tries to take over, remind fear that God's love lives here and fear is not welcome! 

Let's Set The Record Straight

I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me, for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father’s hand. The Father and I are one.

John 10:28-30 

 

 I have heard the following statement: "I have messed up so badly that God could NEVER love me!"  This is one of the most heartbreaking statements I have ever heard!  It is a statement of sheer emotional agony and hopelessness.  And, to be honest, it's simply not true!  Remember John 3:16, that we quote without really understanding what we're saying, which says "God loved the world so much that He sent His only Son to die for us"?  Read that again....notice "God loved the WORLD"  He didn't say, "God loved the world EXCEPT FOR..."

 

God loves us warts, wrinkles, sins and all.  "But God can't look on sin" you say? Then why do you think He chooses to forgive us when we accept His gift of grace?  Does that mean we will not sin anymore? Nope. This side of Heaven, we are still prone to sin.  But when we agree with God that we have sinned (confession) He forgives us.

 

Here's something to remember, and it comes from my favorite Bible teacher, Steve Brown:

"It is important to remember that Christians aren't perfect, only forgiven. There are two kinds of people in the world, not the good and the bad; but, rather, that bad who know it and the bad who don't. As Christians, we need to be honest about who we are and about who God is.

 

"There is absolutely nothing we can do to get God to love us one iota more than He already does and there is absolutely nothing we can do to get God to love us one iota less."

 

The ones whom God calls will come to Christ and NOTHING can ever snatch us from the arms of Christ!  EVER!

 

Here's A Crazy Idea

Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.

Romans 15:7 

 

What's the craziest idea you've ever had?  When I first became aware that God has called me to ministry, I had this crazy idea that churches were filled with nice, caring, loving people who got along and wanted to show the world God's love because they had found the secret of loving each other.  As I grew older, I found out that my crazy idea was just that.....CRAZY.  

 

But here's a REALLY crazy idea: What if, for just ONE Sunday, churches got rid of all denominational differences and labels and symbols and just listed themselves as: CHURCH,  AND everyone in the CHURCH actually learned to accept each other as God's children?  How crazy would that be?

 

Let's face it, Christ accepts each of us, (weird though we may be, different though we may be, unique though we may be) and joins us in ONE Family to the glory of God!  Since Christ accepts us, who are we to not do the same?

Taxing Situation

Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?

Matthew 22:17

 

Jesus didn't sugar coat the mission for His Disciples (and for Believers now)!  In Matthew 10:16, He comes right out and tells us that "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves.  Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."  Jesus is reminding us that we cannot close our eyes and sing "Amazing Grace" as we wander blissfully through this life believing everyone is wonderful and cares about us.  Jesus wants us to know that in this World, we have GOT to be wise and quick witted or we can get distracted by the evil in this world.  

 

THEN, we are given an example of how Jesus' is quick witted and sharp as a sword in Matthew 22.  Jesus encounters two groups asking Him about paying taxes to Caesar.  One group were the Herodians who supported the rule of Rome over Israel and believed paying taxes to Rome was the right thing to do.  The other group were the Pharisees who believed it was wrong to be under Roman rule and being forced to pay taxes to Rome.  And BOTH groups wanted to catch Jesus so they could bring Him up on charges to get rid of Him.  So when they asked the question of Jesus, they thought they had Him trapped!  If Jesus said it was right to pay taxes to Rome, then the Pharisees could condemn Him as a traitor to Israel.  If Jesus said it was not right to pay taxes to Rome, the Herodians could condemn Him as traitor and call for His execution.

 

Jesus found Himself in a sticky situation between a Lion and a Bear.  How would He get out of this predicament?  It would be at this time that a television program would throw in about 20 commercials.  However, Jesus, being the shrewd and quick witted person He is, asked these groups a question: "Look at the coin. Whose face is on it?"  They said "Caesar's."  And Jesus surprised them all by saying, "Since it's Caesar's likeness on the coin, it must be his.  If it's his, give it to him."  

 

We are called to be the same way!  Study to know the truth!  Study to show the truth! And LIVE the truth!  If you call yourself a believer, then your actions and life will prove it. 

A Good Word Is Refreshing

People enjoy giving good advice.
    Saying the right word at the right time is so pleasing.

Proverbs 15:23 

 

Remember the Peanuts specials where Lucy had her Psychiatrist Booth set up to give advice for a nickel?  She loved giving advice!

 

Let's look at a premise: God brings us through many difficult situations in our lives.  Therefore, we should be willing to help others who are enduring a challenge similar to the ones we have faced to encourage them and walk with them through their struggles.

 

Did you know that when a person is struggling, a kind encouraging word can make all the difference?  Most of the time the best counsel we can offer is to remind someone that they are not alone in their struggles.  Sometimes the best encouragement for someone is you just being there for them.  Advice doesn't have to always contain words, sometimes a simple smile is enough.  Think about that.

 

 

Games We Play

The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ.

1 Corinthians 12:12 

When I was much younger, we used to play a game called "Mousetrap" where the object of the game was to get your mouse around to the finish without getting caught by the Rube Goldberg-esque Mousetrap.  The thing that I always found interesting was the fact that if we put the contraption together in any other way than the intended design, the trap wouldn't work....AND if we left any part of the contraption out, the trap wouldn't work.  The trap would only work if the pieces were put together properly and functioned as they were intended.

I admit that was a much more innocent time for me, yet I still am able to find deeper meaning from the memories.  When we played baseball, everyone wanted to be the pitcher, so our games weren't exactly fun.  When we played football everyone wanted to be the quarterback, so our games weren't exactly outstanding there either.  In fact, every game we played, everyone wanted to be the "one in charge" and no one wanted to do the grunt work.  The thing we hadn't quite got a handle on was the simple concept that everyone has a part to play in order to make the team work properly.

It's true even in our lives today.  Everyone has a part to play...everyone has an important task to perform...everyone is important!  Look at it this way, what good is an army if there are only generals?  Who will dig the foxholes?  What good is a team with all pitchers? Who will catch the ball?  When we accept that we have a role to play, while it may not be the spotlight role, every role is important!  

God created us ON purpose, FOR a purpose.  He didn't put us on this Earth alone so we could learn to work together toward the same goal.  Those in the spotlight...make sure the rest of the team receives their due credit.  Those not in the spotlight...make sure you help make those in the spotlight look good because of your efforts.  And above ALL else, make sure that God is glorified! 

Today's Pondering

May the words of my mouth
    and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
    O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Psalm 19:14 

 

I downloaded an app, recently, to help me meditate.  What I discovered was that the app was simply a recording of a stream.  While that may sound silly, the sound of water is usually a relaxing sound.  People use this to meditate, to sleep, to focus, to relax and to concentrate.  You see, the sound of water is one of God's great gifts which we seem to have forgotten.

 

With me so far?  Now let's add another point to ponder.  In the deepest part of our soul lies the place where our true connection with God resides.  It is where the Spirit speaks to God on our behalf with groanings beyond words (Romans 8:26).  These groanings are like the sound of the stream in our souls, they are our ongoing murmurings.  

 

Now consider today's verse: The word used for "meditation" is a musical term which denotes the deep sounds of an instrument that we normally cannot detect unless they are missing or a wrong note is played.  What happens when a stream gets clogged?  The sound changes! 

 

If we focus on what our inner stream of groanings is sharing, what is God hearing from us?  If we are pretending to be happy and joyful, yet we are seething with hurt, anger and frustration, which do you think God hears?  Here's a hint: God always hears TRUTH!  

 

This was brought home very clearly recently during my quiet time.  No matter how hard I tried, I could not get focused.  No matter how long I prayed, my prayers seemed to fall flat.  Finally, I asked God for help and He showed me that I was angry and frustrated with some people who, I believe, wished me ill.  I was reminded that God will deal with them when I let Him have my anger and frustration (which meant I had to turn loose of it completely). My heart and soul had been meditating (murmuring) against those folks, and God reminded me that I needed to focus on Him and His love for me and let Him deal with the rest.

 

This morning, my time of meditation was VERY different!  Let go of the troubles and focus on the only One who can deal with them.  

Charlie Brown Days

I don't know about you, but I can identify with Charlie Brown more times than not.  He tries so hard and still can't seem to do anything right.  Charlie Brown tries to be a good pitcher for his baseball team and gets nailed every time.  Charlie Brown tried to get a Christmas Tree for the play and was made to feel like a failure there as well.  He just keeps trying and keeps getting reminded that he's not measuring up.  

Every feel like that? I have.  There have been times when I was ready to give up and walk away.  It's not a good feeling!  It's a very hard uphill struggle to slap on a positive attitude and keep going. 

How do you deal with such times in life?  I can only tell you what has helped me.  

First, I remind myself that God made me on purpose for a purpose:
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed."
(Psalm 139:13-16) 

Second, I get out my pen and paper and start writing.  I write my prayers because my mind is stuck in a spiral downward.  Through writing, I am able to get my thoughts out and eventually realize that whatever happens to me here is not the end of God's story for me.

Third, I try to get around positive people.  Not so they can cheer me up, but just being around positive people helps me realize that there really ARE people who aren't discouraging.

Fourth, and this is the MOST important part, I give the negative people over to God and let Him deal with them. Then I give God my negativity and let Him deal with me.

Sometimes I need to do this every single day until God moves and sometimes God moves right away.  It's not about my timing, rather it's God's story for me that He is bringing to pass in His time.

Motives!

When dealing with crimes, one of the questions that is undoubtedly asked is "What's their motive here?"  Think about what motivates you...position?  Power?  Prestige?  People? Politics? Seeing someone else fail?  Helping someone else fail?  Encouragement?  Helpfulness?  

If we peel back all the layers, and got down to the bare raw truth, what would be revealed as out true motive?  Today's verse reminds us that our motives may be pure in our own eyes (we can convince ourselves all we wish) but God KNOWS and examines our true raw motives.  Let our motive become loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and loving others as ourselves.

Despise?

When I was a child and I got disciplined, I thought my parents didn't like me one bit.  That was partly because I seemed to get disciplined a lot.  I would get so frustrated but dared not voice my frustration for fear of even more discipline.

When I got to the Army, the discipline was even harsher and much more frequent.  Again, I was frustrated because it didn't seem fair at the time.  It wasn't until after Basic Training that it all sank in.  I was sitting in a Chapel Service one Sunday, and the Chaplain was talking about discipline.  Just as I was about to stop listening, she said something interesting: "God disciplines us, as well.  Sometimes He allows us to follow our own way and when we end up face down in the mire, He'll reach down and lift us up again and ask us, 'Was this worth it?'."

I don't quote often, but I found a good one in the book I am reading by Chuck Swindoll called "Fascinating Stories of Forgotten Lives": "Sometimes the Lord will let us have our way, knowing we will be hurt. Because He's good, we know that if there were a better way to teach us, He'd use it. Unfortunately, painful experience is usually the only way we will learn. Painful consequences play a major role in maturing us."

My Dad has done this same thing to me before, letting me go right ahead and fail (and fall).  Did it hurt?  NO DOUBT!!  Did I learn? I believe so because I haven't duplicated any of those stunts since.  And God does the same with us.  My Grampa once told me, "The quicker you learn, the quicker you will not do this again."  And, as usual, Grampa was right.

Faithful

We like to know that our car will start every time we turn the key, don't we? And if it doesn't, we like taking it to someone we know will fix it right the first time, right?  We like it when someone tells us they will meet us at a certain time and they arrive just as they said, don't we?  Yet are we always just as faithful as we want others to be?  I'm not.  Don't get me wrong, I try to be faithful to do what I said, but sometimes there are extenuating circumstances like a train, or an accident holding traffic up, or I forgot to put the appointment in my calendar.

But the good thing about God is that He is faithful 100% of the time.  We are promised that He will never leave us or reject us, and He is true to that...ALWAYS. We are His children and He loves us...ALWAYS.

How would you feel if God was only as faithful as we are? Aren't you glad that God's faithfulness is not dependent on our faithfulness?  I am.

Friend Factor

Jesus replied, "This is the deed God requires - to believe in [cleave to, trust, rely on, have faith in, lean on] Him whom He has sent."

John 6:29

 

What does it mean to "Believe"?  If you're like me, you want some sort of system to believe in Christ.  But systems are for computers, robots, and sales gimmicks!  I've never understood how adding a conditioner to a shampoo offer suddenly makes is a "system" where you are charged more.  Sorry, slight distraction there.  Systems are not for people.  

 

Believing is not a system...it's a RELATIONSHIP! In order to have a relationship with Jesus, you must stay close to Him.  Look at it this way, how do you have and maintain your relationships?  You spend time with them?  Talk with them? Listen to them? Care about them?  The same is true when you want to develop a relationship with Jesus.  Let's face it, He knows you better than you know you, and He loves you anyway.

 

Spend time reading about Jesus. Spend time talking with and listening to Him.  Just like any other relationship you have to give time to it; you have to exclude some things; but the closer your relationship becomes the less that will matter.  Simply stay close to Him and the relationship will grow! 

Dare to be Different?

Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.

James 1:17 

 

I have a cousin who once told me that I should have been a mosquito because I had the gift of irritating people.  I won't speak of that time of many years ago, but I will ask you to think for a moment.  Yes, I do realize it IS Monday, but please try.  Each person has gifts, because God gave them to us.  You may not think you have gifts, but you do.

 

Because God gave us gifts, we have the responsibility to use them to make a positive difference.  You may have the gift of compassion and you give bottles of water out on a hot day.  You may have the gift of empathy and you encourage others by sitting with them in their time of need.  You may have the gift of singing (which I don't) and you share your voice with others.  The list of gifts is endless!  Yet God gives us our specific gifts to be used specifically by us because He knows when and where we need to use it.

 

If you want to make a positive difference in this world, use your gifts!

You Are Chosen

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that remains, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you. This I command you—to love one another.

John 15:16-17 

 

I remember in grade school being one of the smallest kids in class (stop laughing, that was WAY back then).  When we went out for recess, I would wait to be picked for whatever game we were playing that day.  Needless to say, I was always the last one picked....well, not picked exactly as much as the defaulted just to keep the team numbers equal.  I was not, and still am not, athletic by any stretch of the imagination.

 

But there came the day when my best friend was selected by the teacher to be one of the team captains for the day.  When it came time to pick sides, my best friend picked me first.  If you've never been the last one picked, you cannot imagine how wonderful it feels to be the first one picked for the first time in your life.

 

Look what Jesus is telling His Disciples, "You didn't choose Me...I chose YOU!"  When I start getting down on myself for whatever reason, God will remind me not to take myself so seriously and remember that I am chosen!  And because I am chosen, I get to love people who are hard-headed, cynical, crazy, funny, and some of the best people ever...they're called Deputies.

Abound!

There are some words that just jump out at me and give me cause to ponder. In today's verse, the word "Abound" is such a word.  The more I looked at it, studied it, pondered it, and mulled it over, the more I began to understand.  You see, the word translated as "abound" quite literally means "filled to overflowing." 

Read the verse again using "filled to overflowing" in place of "abound".

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in Him, so that you may be filled to overflowing in Hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Be Careful Who You Let Close To You

It is better to take refuge in the Lord
    than to trust in people.

Psalm 118:8 

 

As a child, our family vacations were always times of learning.  I'll just admit it, I love the Southwest!  One of our family trips was to a place called Bandelier National Monument in New Mexico where we could see cliff dwellings and Native American ingenuity.  Our guide happened to be a Native American gentleman who had lots of stories, which also helped keep me from lagging behind because they were interesting and I didn't want to miss any part of it.

 

He told the story of a boy who went to a mountain top to have a spiritual vision.  When he got ready to go back down the mountain, a rattlesnake called to him and said, "Please, it's so cold up here.  Let me inside your shirt so I can stay warm and take me down the mountain out of this cold."  The boy refused, "But you're a rattlesnake!  You could bite me and kill me. No! I won't do it."

 

The rattlesnake continued to beg sounding more and more pitiful until finally the boy relented and said, "Okay, I'll take you down the mountain in my shirt.  BUT...You must PROMISE ME that you will do me no harm."  The rattlesnake promised and off they went back down the mountain.  When they reached the valley, the rattlesnake promptly bit the boy three times.  As the venom did its work, the boy looked at the snake with the light fading from his eyes.  The snake said, "Don't look at me like that.  You knew I was a rattlesnake when you let me next to you.  This is YOUR fault."

 

After that story, the gentleman said, "We have to be careful who we let close to us.  Not all you say nice things are our friends."  Which is true!  But there's also another lesson here, we have to be careful what we allow in our minds because our thoughts will turn into actions which will make or break our ministry.

When Comfort And Healing Feel Far Away

 

These last few weeks have been tough, especially for Law Enforcement in South Carolina.  It's as if the evil in this world has been running rampant.  It's in these times that we begin to feel the seething anger boiling within us and the desire for revenge surging like a storm.  I admit it, I have those dark thoughts too and believe that I am justified in having them.

In this world we have a choice, to become like the evil we see, even if we call it "justified" or we can do what is right even when it goes against every fiber of our heart.  You see, two wrongs do not make it right.  It IS truly as struggle because, in my own heart, I don't seek justice...I seek vengeance, and that is where I am so wrong!  If I follow my heart to vengeance, then I become just like the evil I want to prevent.  

So what can we do?  We must do what is right!  We must learn to use our experiences to bring comfort to others who are also struggling.  

Where is God in all this? Where He always is, right with us...loving us....caring for us....healing us....comforting us.  Why aren't we feeling any sense of comfort?  Let me put it this way, if you have a wound that requires stitches but every day you keep picking at them keeping the wound open, how long do you think it will take to heal?  If we accept the stitches and take the physician's counsel seriously, the wound will heal properly in the right time.

Those with scars have proven they have survived.  And in their surviving are a valuable source of strength and comfort for those walking wounded.  God comforts us so we can comfort others.  It isn't easy to accept comfort, and that's okay.  Healing takes time! 

Even On His Darkest Day, Jesus...

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

 

This story is a great lesson we can take with us, IF WE CHOOSE!  I want you to think about something, when we have a bad day, guess which wolf we are feeding!  We can sit around and get angry, upset, frustrated, and what will that accomplish?  Or we can take a moment to adjust our thinking and focus on the positive.  We can waste our preciously short time on this Earth looking back and raging about things, people, situations we cannot control...OR we can re-focus our energies to make the most of where we are now and take positive steps forward.

Let me give you another way to think about this: Jesus was having a truly horrible day!  He had already been arrested, tortured, beaten, and rejected by the Jews.  In fact, He had been nailed to the cross between two criminals and the only thing they had to look forward to was death, which would not come quickly.  Yet even on His WORST day, Jesus kept positive!  He prayed that God would forgive those who had done all this to Him, because "they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34).  Jesus also told the criminal on the cross next to Him, "today, you will be with me in Paradise" (Luke 23:43).

Which wolf will you feed?

We CAN Learn!

Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

Colossians 3:14 

 

The photo above is of my dog, Woody Bear, who is lounging on me and being a comfort.  Why do I bring that up?  Because I want to make a point.  But first, a couple of nuggets of information.

 

In Genesis 2:19-20 we read: "So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man, Adam, to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him."

 

Adam gave names to all the animals.  And God brought all the animals to Adam because, at that time, Adam had no helper.  So Adam's companions were the animals.  Guess what? Many of us have animals as companions as well.  Did you realize that, while we can teach our companions, they can teach us?  

 

Consider this:  Woody Bear teaches me about unconditional love.  He loves my Bride and I without condition.  He also doesn't hold grudges.  When he does something wrong, he is quick to let us know he is sorry. If we correct him, he is quick to learn. He listens to me pour out my heart and only gets "mouthy" once in a great while.  He is VERY patient with us, especially if I get distracted and forget to let him back inside (he makes the best of his situation and just waits).

 

We can learn much from our companions.  I definitely believe God gave us our companions for comfort and so we can learn from them.   

It's NOT Okay To Pretend To Be Okay, Part 2

When I kept silent,
    my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long.

Psalm 32:3 

 

I remember being told to "Suck it up!" when I was dealing with an emotionally traumatic situation.  "Stop acting weak!" was another one I've been told.  Then there's the ever popular "Don't be a wuss! Be A MAN!".  Why do we think such things are good advice?  Is it because emotions can get messy and inconvenient and we don't know how to deal with them?  Are we afraid of feelings?

 

When we suppress our emotions in order to pretend to appear okay to the casual observer, our bodies will eventually rebel and we will begin to display the symptoms such as Depression, Despair, Unending Sadness.  We will begin to gravitate toward self destructive behaviors like alcoholism, overeating, not eating, etc. in an attempt to dull the pain.  We will become mechanical, unable to genuinely laugh or smile.  We will experience inability to sleep or sleep too much.  We will feel constantly fatigued with then inability to get restful sleep.

 

We suppress our feelings so we don't appear weak or foolish. We suppress our feelings so we won't be a bother or burden to others who "won't understand."  But let me tell you something I have learned, and am learning, the hard way: I may not understand exactly how you feel, but I do understand how I feel when I am overwhelmed and that allows me to be of help if permitted.

 

When God breathed life into Adam and Eve, He infused us with feelings and emotions.  God could very well have created us as little emotionless robots.  

 

When Jesus walked among us, He was not devoid of emotions.  

*  Jesus prayed with loud cries and tears before His crucifixion. 

*  He wept for His friend Lazarus.  

*  He wept loudly for Jerusalem's pending destruction.

 

"In the days of His flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to Him who was able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverence" - Hebrews 5:7

 

"Jesus wept" John 11:35

 

Jesus didn't worry about what people thought about Him, so why should we? So how should we deal with this issue?  

 

1.  Take of the mask!

2. If you feel more comfortable, write it out.  I do this quite a lot.  I have lots of books I have filled with my thoughts, writing helps me get things into perspective.

3. Talk with people you trust.  This may mean actually reaching out and asking "Can we talk?"

4. Be aware of how you are acting.  If you find you are withdrawing from people, reach out to people you trust. To be honest, if I know someone is intentionally shutting me out, I will give them the courtesy of keeping my distance until they are ready.

5. Pray!  I cannot emphasize this enough.  We are told over and over to turn everything over to God and let Him deal with it, that includes our emotions.  

 

This list isn't exhaustive, by any means, but it's a start.

 

While it may seem more challenging to face our pain and sorrow instead of simply suppressing it, when we suppress it, we are telling God that He isn't good enough or strong enough to handle our burden.  We are telling God that we are better at handling it than Him and, in so doing, we build a wall between God and us.  The choice is yours.

It's NOT Okay To Pretend To Be Okay Part 1

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

"It's Okay Not To Be Okay. It's NOT Okay To Pretend To Be Okay When You're Not Okay."  I posted this on Facebook earlier this week and discovered that a number of people actually said it was easier to pretend than to be honest about how they felt.  Here's something to consider, easier isn't always the best plan.  For example, if you got a cut while preparing a meal, it's easier to pretend it didn't hurt or happen than it is to stop what you're doing, find a bandage, get some first-aid medicine, bandage the wound, and put everything back....right?  

 

Society tells us that we should not burden everyone else with our emotions, especially when we are overwhelmed, hurting, shocked, horrified, or anything else other than happy.  Why? Because people have this mentality that we are less than human if we have emotions.  If we aren't happy, then it's our fault!  Therefore, we try to cauterize our emotions, slap on a fake smile and go through the motions of our day, even if we are an wreck on the inside.  Where did we get that idea?

 

I am guilty of pushing people away when I am trying to deal with emotional situations, because I need to figure things out before I share what's on my mind.  I will reach out if I begin to feel overwhelmed or need some perspective. But for the most part, I need to internalize things until I can make some sense of them.  That's part of my being an Introvert. 

 

Now I can tell you from my experience and observations, that when we pretend we're okay when we're not, over time some weird things will begin to happen:  

• We will eventually develop a jaded perception of everything and everyone, believing no one will help because no one cares.
• We also begin to become cynical having little patience with others.
•  We will withdraw from everyone because they don't understand or because we don't want to be hurt again.
• We will, in a perceived act of self preservation, give the impression of being cold and unfeeling.

The list goes on and on, but the fact remains: We are humans, thus we have feelings.

 

Let me leave you with one last thought for today: "Speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor, for we are members of one another" (Ephesians 4:25).