We Can Work It Out!

This is what you do if one of your brothers or sisters sins: go to him, in private, and tell him just what you perceive the wrong to be. If he listens to you, you’ve won a brother. 

Matthew 18:15 

 

When you have a disagree with someone, how do you handle it?  Do you publicly call them  out?  Do you make a huge deal about the fact that you feel or think differently?  Or do you go to that person, in confidence, and try to work out the differences?

 

Keeping in mind that we are called to build each other up and encourage each other, there will be times when we will disagree.  Believe it or not, the disagreement isn't the issue, how we handle that disagreement IS the issue!  

 

I admit that there have been times when I have handled a disagreement VERY badly.  I have apologized to those who got caught in the explosion, and trust that forgiveness has been granted.  But from these events, I am learning that one of the foundational traits of a Chaplain is CONFIDENTIALITY!  Handle things between you and the other person.  If you can reach an agreement (even if it is to agree to not agree, and also not discuss it further), then you have saved the relationship.

 

There are benefits to reaching a resolution between the two of you....each of you gets to "save face" because no one else will get dragged into the issue; between the two of you, it's easier to discuss calmly; between the two of you, you realize that neither of you is perfect and perhaps even a change of perspective will result.

 

Let's face it, good relationships are very difficult to cultivate.