Mentor Others

Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Ephesians 4:29 

 

Remember the movie "The Karate Kid" when Mister Miyagi taught Daniel about karate?  Mr. Miyagi's approach was not what Daniel was expecting or what he wanted, but it was ultimately successful.  ALL Daniel wanted to learn was how to beat up a bully, Mister Miyagi taught Daniel much so much more.  Daniel learned about respect, hard work, patience, concentration, focus, and self-respect.

 

When we encourage others, should we not do the same?  Just shouting "You can do it" is not exactly helpful.  Clapping and cheering, while they have their place, don't exactly teach.  When we truly encourage, we become teachers helping others either figure out a solution to their dilemma or helping them discover and refine the skills to achieve a goal.

 

You see....true encouragers are mentors!

Restoration?

When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. 

In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before!

Job 42:10 

 

I like to see pictures of how a rested and neglected automobile is given new life with a restoration, and many restorations make the car more valuable than it was originally.  

 

Have you ever felt your life needed a restoration?  Perhaps you feel like a rusting hulk of metal and dirt and a quick wash just doesn't do the trick.  Hmmm......consider Job.  God allowed everything to be taken from him, leaving him a rotten shell of his former self.  Job prayed over and over for God to hear his case.  Before you think God isn't fair...He is always fair just, perhaps, not in our sense of fairness.  

 

But after enduring his crumbling life for as long as God planned, God restored to Job his fortunes and even gave him twice as much!  

 

I get to talk to people who feel their lives are just a boatload of failures and missteps.  Every day when I look in the mirror, I see a face that has over 54 years of screwing life up.   Yet God has never left me even though I walked away from Him for many years.  He never forgot me.  AND He will never leave you or forget you.  

 

"So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you." - 1 Peter 5:6-7

 

Relating to the Relatable

Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:33 

 

Guess who is the one person who can tick you off the most and the quickest?  Before you answer, go to another room (alone) and close the door (and a lock would not be amiss).  The answer is: Your Spouse!  That's right (you can breathe again), your spouse is the one person who can tick you off the most and the quickest!  Why?  Because your spouse knows you better than any other person and they know what your hot buttons are.  So when (yes when) disagreements arise, we have a choice to work it out or walk away.

 

So how do we make our relationships stronger and more peaceful?  Good question!  Actually, this is one of the questions I am asked most often and here's a little secret....I'm still figuring it out too.  But let me share with you a few of the insights I have learned, granted still working on them, but have recognized they are needed.

 

     1.  In order for a relationship to work, each must be relatable. This means you must accept that neither of you is perfect, never have been and never will be, and accept that relationships are not always going to be fun.

     2.  Relationships will take work!  If you ever reach the point where your relationship seems like it's on cruise control and you spend more time doing your own thing than you do with each other...

     3.  Leave work at work!  Bringing work home (especially the work attitude), is never a good idea!  However, when something happens at work that you are either proud of or has irritated you, set 15 minutes aside to talk about it and then send it away from Family Time.

     4.  Date each other!  Put it on your calendar like every other appointment!  

     5.  Allow each spouse a few minutes upon their arrival home from work to decompress, change clothes, and refocus their thoughts and mindset on family.

     6.  Respect and Trust each other!  "Let each man love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." - Ephesians 5:33.  Treat each other in the same way you want to be treated....sound familiar?

     7.   When you have a disagreement, remain calm and discuss it.  Turning a discussion into a shouting match only escalates the situation which leads to slamming of doors, drawers, family gene pool being called into question, and many other ill-mannered events.  And here's the kicker:  DO NOT BE AFRAID TO APOLOGIZE!  

     8.  Laugh together.  Laugh at yourself too.  Let's face it, we can do some really idiotic things sometimes.  Don't be offended or afraid to laugh about it.

     9.  Physically touch each other no fewer than 10 times each day.  Physical touch is healing and healthy.  So hug, hold hands, kiss, cuddle, touch hands in passing....at least 10 touches a day. I know this is difficult for those who are not "touchy feely" types, but it works.

     10.  Be grateful to and for your spouse, their efforts, their accomplishments, their care for you, for who they are....

 

Matthew 22:36-40:

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

³⁷ Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

It's All About Relationship

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Hebrews 10:24-25

Part of my job is to provide a bit of perspective and offer things to be pondered.  Today is no exception.

Consider this for a moment, whilst you await the coffee to take hold: We are, by nature, social beings.  We thrive on relationships.  We seek out relationships.  And, if we are smart, we build lasting relationships.

We have relationships with our families.  We have relationships with our friends.  We have relationships with our co-workers.  We have relationships with the people who help us in stores and shops and the mechanic and the postal delivery person and the person who delivers your packages and even your neighbors.  We NEED relationships.  And the better the relationship the stronger it will become.  

One of the most enjoyable parts of my job is that I get to watch the interactions between Law Enforcement and the Communities.  Let me just say this, the deputies who have invested the time and effort to build a relationship of mutual respect and trust with the communities have seem to have fewer issues to deal with within their communities.  Why? Because the community members are willing to help the deputies keep their communities safe!

So to all newer deputies, invest the time and effort to cultivate and build relationships.

And on a little different front, I hear churches wonder why church membership is not growing as quickly as they would like.  I have a perspective on that as well: reach outside the walls and build relationships.  Don't start with "ARE YOU SAVED?".  Let's face it, you don't drop a seed in the ground and expect an apple tree to throw dirt clods so it can grow and apples to appear.  Each relationship must be planted, cultivated, nurtured and built.  And as a result, others will see the relationship and become interested.  People will want to know why your relationships are so strong and long lasting and close!  Why are you willing to do for others when there is no benefit to yourself?  Why are you accepting of people who have done life wrong for so many years?  Why are you different? (I'm not different, I prefer the term "odd" or "weird."  I'm not wealthy enough to be "eccentric.").

Think about it!  Motivate each other to relationships and you will begin to see a change for the better.

What Fruit Is In Your Bowl?

Words kill, words give life;
    they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.

Proverbs 18:21 

 

What is the one thing that can destroy a life, break a heart, crush a spirit, and kill a dream without leaving so much as a bruise?  Words!  Use the words when talking with others that you would want spoken to you if the roles were reversed.

Consider the instructions found in James 1:19:
     1. Be quick to LISTEN!
     2. Slow to SPEAK!
     3. Slower still to get ANGRY! 

Seriously?

Let me be blunt: If one of us—even if an angel from heaven!—were to preach something other than what we preached originally, let him be cursed. I said it once; I’ll say it again: If anyone, regardless of reputation or credentials, preaches something other than what you received originally, let him be cursed.

Galatians 1:8-9 

 

"Money is the root of all evil" - True or False

"Moses brought two of every animal into the ark" - True or False

"Judge not lest ye be judged" - True or False

 

All of these are either false or taken out of context.  

FIRST, according to 1 Timothy 6:10, it is the LOVE of money that is the root of all evil.

SECOND, Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt and had nothing to do with the Ark.

THIRD, this teaching is taken out of context: In Matthew 7:1-2, Jesus said, "Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged." We tend to forget verse 2.

 

How many times have you heard someone preach that the more money you send them, the more you will receive?  I actually heard a televangelist state that for every $5 you sent in, he would say a prayer for you.

 

Look at what Paul is telling the Galatian Church!  If ANYONE or ANYTHING teaches you a different Gospel that Paul preached to them, then that teacher will be cursed!  Credentials, Degrees, Connections to Politicians....irrelevant!  Preach truth or be cursed!

 

Can't really get much clearer than that, except to say when Paul and Silas preached to the church in Berea, the people eagerly listened to them and then CHECKED THE TEACHING OUT FOR THEMSELVES!  They didn't just go along because some person with a known name said so.  They investigated for themselves! 

We Are What We Allow.

Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.

James 4:17

When I first read this verse, I thought it only applied to my actions.  As I grew and my curiosity became more intense, I realized that this verse has a plethora of meanings.
For example, if I know that I should not let someone take advantage of me, yet I choose the path of least resistance and tell myself (and others) "I just couldn't stop myself" then I have committed sin.

Likewise, if I see someone getting mugged and my thought is "Glad that's not me" then I have committed sin.

If I know someone will tempt me to do the wrong thing, and I still hang around with them, I AM WRONG!  It is better to lose a "friend" than have to deal with the consequences of being led astray.

You see, when we become lazy and chose NOT to think and NOT to act then we are WRONG!  Remember that God has given each of us a brain, and it's for more than just keeping our ear from slapping together.