Relating to the Relatable

Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:33 

 

Guess who is the one person who can tick you off the most and the quickest?  Before you answer, go to another room (alone) and close the door (and a lock would not be amiss).  The answer is: Your Spouse!  That's right (you can breathe again), your spouse is the one person who can tick you off the most and the quickest!  Why?  Because your spouse knows you better than any other person and they know what your hot buttons are.  So when (yes when) disagreements arise, we have a choice to work it out or walk away.

 

So how do we make our relationships stronger and more peaceful?  Good question!  Actually, this is one of the questions I am asked most often and here's a little secret....I'm still figuring it out too.  But let me share with you a few of the insights I have learned, granted still working on them, but have recognized they are needed.

 

     1.  In order for a relationship to work, each must be relatable. This means you must accept that neither of you is perfect, never have been and never will be, and accept that relationships are not always going to be fun.

     2.  Relationships will take work!  If you ever reach the point where your relationship seems like it's on cruise control and you spend more time doing your own thing than you do with each other...

     3.  Leave work at work!  Bringing work home (especially the work attitude), is never a good idea!  However, when something happens at work that you are either proud of or has irritated you, set 15 minutes aside to talk about it and then send it away from Family Time.

     4.  Date each other!  Put it on your calendar like every other appointment!  

     5.  Allow each spouse a few minutes upon their arrival home from work to decompress, change clothes, and refocus their thoughts and mindset on family.

     6.  Respect and Trust each other!  "Let each man love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." - Ephesians 5:33.  Treat each other in the same way you want to be treated....sound familiar?

     7.   When you have a disagreement, remain calm and discuss it.  Turning a discussion into a shouting match only escalates the situation which leads to slamming of doors, drawers, family gene pool being called into question, and many other ill-mannered events.  And here's the kicker:  DO NOT BE AFRAID TO APOLOGIZE!  

     8.  Laugh together.  Laugh at yourself too.  Let's face it, we can do some really idiotic things sometimes.  Don't be offended or afraid to laugh about it.

     9.  Physically touch each other no fewer than 10 times each day.  Physical touch is healing and healthy.  So hug, hold hands, kiss, cuddle, touch hands in passing....at least 10 touches a day. I know this is difficult for those who are not "touchy feely" types, but it works.

     10.  Be grateful to and for your spouse, their efforts, their accomplishments, their care for you, for who they are....

 

Matthew 22:36-40:

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

³⁷ Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”