"Do You Have Permission To Give Up?"

So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while.

1 Peter 1:6

It was the middle fire watch in our Basic Training Barracks, when my Squad mate began to cry quietly.  I asked him what was wrong.  I guess every platoon has a guy like this, who managed to drop his rifle during the Colonel's Inspection, put Future Floor Wax on the toes of his boots because it was easier than polishing them which had cracked by the time the Colonel made it around to him.  He was that guy who actually tried harder than almost everyone else in the platoon to do a good job, but always managed to miss the mark.

As we sat in the reception area between rounds, I did my best to bring him some comfort but had know idea what to say.  He finally got angry with my efforts and said, "Look, I'm a lost cause!  I have had enough! I can't go ANY further!"  It was at this moment that I noticed our Senior Drill Instructor walking up to check to make sure we weren't sleeping.  He had overheard our discussion, which we did not know until now, and came to share "a few words" with my buddy.

His name was Sergeant First Class Oliver Wendell Taylor.  He stood 6'8" and was built like a tank. He locked Brian in his glare, pulled up a chair (without looking), sat down nose to nose with Brian and just stared into his soul.

SFC Taylor: "Did I just hear you say 'I can't go ANY further'?"

PV1 Birnabei: (shaking so much that his flashlight beam looked more like a strobe light) "Y-y-y-yes Drill Sergeant."

SFC Taylor: (Poked Brian in the chest with the tree branch that was his finger) "Tell me, is your heart still pumping?"

PV1 Birnabei: (sweating profusely) "Y-y-y-y-yes Drill Sergeant."

SFC Taylor: "Iz you dayad?" (he hissed).

PV1 Birnabei: "No Drill Sergeant."

SFC Taylor: "Iz your heart still pumpin'?"

PV1 Birnabei: "Y-y-y-y-yes Drill Sergeant."

SFC Taylor:  "What's the worst day you have had in Basic so far?"

PV1 Birnabei: "Colonel's Inspection."

SFC Taylor: "Go to your bunk and bring back that Bible I've seen you reading."

Brian literally ran to his bunk grabbed his Bible and ran back in less than 15 seconds.

SFC Taylor: "You believe what this book says?"

PV1 Birnabei: "Yes Drill Sergeant."

SFC Taylor: "Open that Bible to 1 Peter 1:6 and read it to me."

PV1 Birnabei: "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials."

SFC Taylor: "And YOU believe what this book says?"

PV1 Birnabei: "Yes Drill Sergeant!"

SFC Taylor: "Hear me and hear me well Soldier...You WILL go through a lot of things you won't like.  You WILL endure things you have never had to deal with before. I have been a Drill Sergeant for 4 years now. This is my last tour.  God has put you in my care just like He did with all my other recruits.  God has not let any of them leave, instead He has pushed them even harder.  God did not give YOU permission to give up!  God did NOT give ME permission to give up on you!  YOU are GOING to make it through this and I am going to do whatever I gots ta do to make that happen!  Now, your Fire Watch is over, go to bed, and it might behoove you to talk to God before you shut yo eyez."

Brian and I walked back to our area, crawled into our bunks, and I heard Brian praying from the top bunk.  I prayed for Brian and told God how He had surprised us both with SFC Taylor.  For the next 3 weeks, Brian had become a different kind of soldier.  This "washout" that so many were willing to give up on, had turned around and outdone all of us.  God doesn't give us permission to give up, wandering through life miserable, angry, or begrudging others.  He has given us permission to lean on Him, come to Him in bold faith, and remember that He will be with us ALWAYS!!