The Art of Presence

When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw dust into the air over their heads to show their grief. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.

Job 2:12-13 

 

I held his hand as he drew his last breath.  I didn't want to let go of his hand.  My best friend in the world was gone and the pain was excruciating!  I could manage only tears, which burned like acid.  I could barely breathe, mainly because I didn't want to breathe any longer.  Then a nurse came in.  I figured he was there to tell me I had to leave, but he simply pulled up a chair, and sat with me without saying a word.  How long we sat, I couldn't say, but the comfort of someone who cared enough about the turmoil I was enduring to just sit with me brought so much peace.

 

Job's friends heard about Job's troubles (he lost everything, except his wife who told him to "Curse God and die), and they came to try to comfort him in his misery.  When they saw Job's misery, they tore their clothes, threw dust on their heads, and wailed loudly.  Then, they sat on the ground with Job for SEVEN DAYS AND NIGHTS.  And here's the kicker: "No one said a word to Job."  

 

My point is this, comfort does not require words!  As a matter of fact, two of the most inane things a person can say to one who is grieving...

*    "It could have been worse" - Yes, it could have been, but right now I don't care because THIS is the worst if could be. 

 

*    "I know how you feel."  - You know how YOU felt, but YOU have NO idea how I feel, because you are not me.

 

The best thing to be said, "I love you" and "I'm here" and then sit quietly...THIS is the Art of Presence!