Mentor Others

Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Ephesians 4:29 

 

Remember the movie "The Karate Kid" when Mister Miyagi taught Daniel about karate?  Mr. Miyagi's approach was not what Daniel was expecting or what he wanted, but it was ultimately successful.  ALL Daniel wanted to learn was how to beat up a bully, Mister Miyagi taught Daniel much so much more.  Daniel learned about respect, hard work, patience, concentration, focus, and self-respect.

 

When we encourage others, should we not do the same?  Just shouting "You can do it" is not exactly helpful.  Clapping and cheering, while they have their place, don't exactly teach.  When we truly encourage, we become teachers helping others either figure out a solution to their dilemma or helping them discover and refine the skills to achieve a goal.

 

You see....true encouragers are mentors!

Restoration?

When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. 

In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before!

Job 42:10 

 

I like to see pictures of how a rested and neglected automobile is given new life with a restoration, and many restorations make the car more valuable than it was originally.  

 

Have you ever felt your life needed a restoration?  Perhaps you feel like a rusting hulk of metal and dirt and a quick wash just doesn't do the trick.  Hmmm......consider Job.  God allowed everything to be taken from him, leaving him a rotten shell of his former self.  Job prayed over and over for God to hear his case.  Before you think God isn't fair...He is always fair just, perhaps, not in our sense of fairness.  

 

But after enduring his crumbling life for as long as God planned, God restored to Job his fortunes and even gave him twice as much!  

 

I get to talk to people who feel their lives are just a boatload of failures and missteps.  Every day when I look in the mirror, I see a face that has over 54 years of screwing life up.   Yet God has never left me even though I walked away from Him for many years.  He never forgot me.  AND He will never leave you or forget you.  

 

"So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you." - 1 Peter 5:6-7

 

Relating to the Relatable

Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:33 

 

Guess who is the one person who can tick you off the most and the quickest?  Before you answer, go to another room (alone) and close the door (and a lock would not be amiss).  The answer is: Your Spouse!  That's right (you can breathe again), your spouse is the one person who can tick you off the most and the quickest!  Why?  Because your spouse knows you better than any other person and they know what your hot buttons are.  So when (yes when) disagreements arise, we have a choice to work it out or walk away.

 

So how do we make our relationships stronger and more peaceful?  Good question!  Actually, this is one of the questions I am asked most often and here's a little secret....I'm still figuring it out too.  But let me share with you a few of the insights I have learned, granted still working on them, but have recognized they are needed.

 

     1.  In order for a relationship to work, each must be relatable. This means you must accept that neither of you is perfect, never have been and never will be, and accept that relationships are not always going to be fun.

     2.  Relationships will take work!  If you ever reach the point where your relationship seems like it's on cruise control and you spend more time doing your own thing than you do with each other...

     3.  Leave work at work!  Bringing work home (especially the work attitude), is never a good idea!  However, when something happens at work that you are either proud of or has irritated you, set 15 minutes aside to talk about it and then send it away from Family Time.

     4.  Date each other!  Put it on your calendar like every other appointment!  

     5.  Allow each spouse a few minutes upon their arrival home from work to decompress, change clothes, and refocus their thoughts and mindset on family.

     6.  Respect and Trust each other!  "Let each man love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." - Ephesians 5:33.  Treat each other in the same way you want to be treated....sound familiar?

     7.   When you have a disagreement, remain calm and discuss it.  Turning a discussion into a shouting match only escalates the situation which leads to slamming of doors, drawers, family gene pool being called into question, and many other ill-mannered events.  And here's the kicker:  DO NOT BE AFRAID TO APOLOGIZE!  

     8.  Laugh together.  Laugh at yourself too.  Let's face it, we can do some really idiotic things sometimes.  Don't be offended or afraid to laugh about it.

     9.  Physically touch each other no fewer than 10 times each day.  Physical touch is healing and healthy.  So hug, hold hands, kiss, cuddle, touch hands in passing....at least 10 touches a day. I know this is difficult for those who are not "touchy feely" types, but it works.

     10.  Be grateful to and for your spouse, their efforts, their accomplishments, their care for you, for who they are....

 

Matthew 22:36-40:

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

³⁷ Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

It's All About Relationship

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Hebrews 10:24-25

Part of my job is to provide a bit of perspective and offer things to be pondered.  Today is no exception.

Consider this for a moment, whilst you await the coffee to take hold: We are, by nature, social beings.  We thrive on relationships.  We seek out relationships.  And, if we are smart, we build lasting relationships.

We have relationships with our families.  We have relationships with our friends.  We have relationships with our co-workers.  We have relationships with the people who help us in stores and shops and the mechanic and the postal delivery person and the person who delivers your packages and even your neighbors.  We NEED relationships.  And the better the relationship the stronger it will become.  

One of the most enjoyable parts of my job is that I get to watch the interactions between Law Enforcement and the Communities.  Let me just say this, the deputies who have invested the time and effort to build a relationship of mutual respect and trust with the communities have seem to have fewer issues to deal with within their communities.  Why? Because the community members are willing to help the deputies keep their communities safe!

So to all newer deputies, invest the time and effort to cultivate and build relationships.

And on a little different front, I hear churches wonder why church membership is not growing as quickly as they would like.  I have a perspective on that as well: reach outside the walls and build relationships.  Don't start with "ARE YOU SAVED?".  Let's face it, you don't drop a seed in the ground and expect an apple tree to throw dirt clods so it can grow and apples to appear.  Each relationship must be planted, cultivated, nurtured and built.  And as a result, others will see the relationship and become interested.  People will want to know why your relationships are so strong and long lasting and close!  Why are you willing to do for others when there is no benefit to yourself?  Why are you accepting of people who have done life wrong for so many years?  Why are you different? (I'm not different, I prefer the term "odd" or "weird."  I'm not wealthy enough to be "eccentric.").

Think about it!  Motivate each other to relationships and you will begin to see a change for the better.

What Fruit Is In Your Bowl?

Words kill, words give life;
    they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.

Proverbs 18:21 

 

What is the one thing that can destroy a life, break a heart, crush a spirit, and kill a dream without leaving so much as a bruise?  Words!  Use the words when talking with others that you would want spoken to you if the roles were reversed.

Consider the instructions found in James 1:19:
     1. Be quick to LISTEN!
     2. Slow to SPEAK!
     3. Slower still to get ANGRY! 

Seriously?

Let me be blunt: If one of us—even if an angel from heaven!—were to preach something other than what we preached originally, let him be cursed. I said it once; I’ll say it again: If anyone, regardless of reputation or credentials, preaches something other than what you received originally, let him be cursed.

Galatians 1:8-9 

 

"Money is the root of all evil" - True or False

"Moses brought two of every animal into the ark" - True or False

"Judge not lest ye be judged" - True or False

 

All of these are either false or taken out of context.  

FIRST, according to 1 Timothy 6:10, it is the LOVE of money that is the root of all evil.

SECOND, Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt and had nothing to do with the Ark.

THIRD, this teaching is taken out of context: In Matthew 7:1-2, Jesus said, "Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged." We tend to forget verse 2.

 

How many times have you heard someone preach that the more money you send them, the more you will receive?  I actually heard a televangelist state that for every $5 you sent in, he would say a prayer for you.

 

Look at what Paul is telling the Galatian Church!  If ANYONE or ANYTHING teaches you a different Gospel that Paul preached to them, then that teacher will be cursed!  Credentials, Degrees, Connections to Politicians....irrelevant!  Preach truth or be cursed!

 

Can't really get much clearer than that, except to say when Paul and Silas preached to the church in Berea, the people eagerly listened to them and then CHECKED THE TEACHING OUT FOR THEMSELVES!  They didn't just go along because some person with a known name said so.  They investigated for themselves! 

We Are What We Allow.

Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.

James 4:17

When I first read this verse, I thought it only applied to my actions.  As I grew and my curiosity became more intense, I realized that this verse has a plethora of meanings.
For example, if I know that I should not let someone take advantage of me, yet I choose the path of least resistance and tell myself (and others) "I just couldn't stop myself" then I have committed sin.

Likewise, if I see someone getting mugged and my thought is "Glad that's not me" then I have committed sin.

If I know someone will tempt me to do the wrong thing, and I still hang around with them, I AM WRONG!  It is better to lose a "friend" than have to deal with the consequences of being led astray.

You see, when we become lazy and chose NOT to think and NOT to act then we are WRONG!  Remember that God has given each of us a brain, and it's for more than just keeping our ear from slapping together.

 

Our Words Have Consequences!

You will have to live with the consequences of everything you say. What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.

Proverbs 18:20-21 

 

When was the last time you said something you regretted the second the words left your mouth?  Have you ever said something hurtful to someone just to hurt them?  Have you ever said something you did not mean?

 

Now, let me ask you something, when a tank fires a round....can that round be unfired?  When we say something we wish we hadn't, can we unsay those words?

Have you ever wished you could have said something when you actually didn't?

Think of the last time you spoke words of caring and support at the right time.

Think of the last time you spoke words of gratitude and you received a smile in return.

 

That great theologian, George Carlin, said, "I love words!  The same words we use to hurt can also heal."  He has a point.  And here's today's point: When we speak, we must live with the consequences, good or bad.  

 

Before speaking your mind, make sure to use your mind to filter your words. Choose your words wisely.    

Quit Your Griping!

“What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator.
    Does a clay pot argue with its maker?
Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying,
    ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’
Does the pot exclaim,
    ‘How clumsy can you be?’

Isaiah 45:9

 

We like to complain, don't we?  We even invent little quips to support our "need" to complain, such as: "The squeaky wheel gets the grease!"  And we rant about this, we moan and groan about that, we rail against the people we don't like or disagree with their decisions.  We complain about service (yet what service do WE give).  We complain about prices (Yet we want increased wages).  We complain about the weather (as if we have the ability to change it). We complain about EVERYTHING!

 

When I was in High School, I worked for a fast food franchise (which shall remain nameless), and learned VERY quickly what the cooks thought of those who complained about their food.

 

I have also learned that if you raise a big enough stink, you may get what you want....at first, but rest assured somewhere along the way retribution will be sought.  Why?  Because that's how we operate!  And, to be honest, there seem to be a growing number of people who only purpose for breathing is to complain.  Know anyone like that?

 

What would happen, do you think, if we consciously made the effort to offer gratitude instead of complaining?  

 

In any situation, there are three options available to us:

     1.  Complain - and face the repercussions.

     2. Change what you can (either your perception or your attitude).

     3. Accept what you cannot change and be grateful.

 

I will be the first to tell you that I love my job!  I cannot imagine doing anything else!  And I am grateful for even the small things, like a place to keep my books, training, the chance to improve my skills, the free coffee, and the list is enormous.  

 

Who will you be today?  Grumpy or Happy? 

Light Isn't Loud!

You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.

Matthew 5:14-16 

 

 

When I was in the Army, we had to sing cadence and we were expected to sing it LOUD!  As a matter of fact...about 90% of everything we did was LOUD! Especially sleeping which sounded like a cave full of hibernating Grizzlies.

 

When I was growing up, I remember hearing pastors preach (yell, brow beat, shout) sermons reminding us (hammering with much guilt) that we should ALWAYS announce to the world that we are believers and that if we don't then the world won't know and cannot become enlightened.  I will admit, the guilt weighed very heavily on me being that I was painfully introverted.  I struggled with this for years.

 

Let me ask you something: When was the list time you turned on the lights and you heard: "I AM LIGHT AND I AM BRIGHT AND I AM HERE TO ILLUMINATE YOUR WORLD!"  While it's true some cars will remind you that "lights are on" should you forget to turn the headlights off before exiting the vehicle.  I have never heard even so much as a flashlight announce itself to the world.  EVER!

 

Jesus tells us that we are the light of the world.  But He didn't tell us we have to go around announcing it.  Because here's the thing about light....it can be seen in the darkness without anything being said.  Jesus reminds us to let our good deeds shine out for all to see, He doesn't tell us to go around proclaiming: "LOOK HOW AWESOME I AM FOR DOING ALL THESE GOOD THINGS!"

 

This is why I love the quote accredited to St. Francis of Assisi: "Preach the Gospel every day!  And if you must, use words."  

Wouldn't Want To Be A Guard

Meanwhile, the guards had scattered, but a few of them went into the city and told the high priests everything that had happened. They called a meeting of the religious leaders and came up with a plan: They took a large sum of money and gave it to the soldiers, bribing them to say, “His disciples came in the night and stole the body while we were sleeping.” They assured them, “If the governor hears about your sleeping on duty, we will make sure you don’t get blamed.” The soldiers took the bribe and did as they were told. That story, cooked up in the Jewish High Council, is still going around.

Matthew 28:11-15

Imagine you are one of the soldiers who had been ordered to guard the tomb of Jesus. As a soldier, you have been trained to do as you are told, but in the back of your mind you are thinking this is the craziest duty ever.  And then, the tomb has Roman Seals placed on it so the stone cover cannot be moved without the seals being broken.  When everyone has gone and you are on guard duty with your buddies and night falls and the longer you're stuck on this assignment, the more tired and bored you become so you doze off.

You are awakened to find that not only has the stone been rolled away, but the tomb is empty all what you were supposed to make sure that doesn't happen. What do you do?  You have been given a simple assignment and you have failed.  You know your military career, and most likely your life, is over.  So you run to the High Priests and tell them what has happened.

When the High Priests hear what has happened, they panic and get together to create a cover story that will keep their authority in place as well as keep the guards from telling anyone what really happened.  So they know that if the governor finds out the guards were sleeping on duty, the guards will be tortured and will probably tell all they know, so they promise the guards that if they stick to the cover story that Jesus' Disciples stole the body, everyone wins....and oh, by the way, here's a HUGE bag of cash for your efforts.

Honestly, I can tell you that I would NOT want to be one of the guards.....or one of the High Priests either.

Listen to the Hammer Ring!

 Along the way they came on a man from Cyrene named Simon and made him carry Jesus’ cross. Arriving at Golgotha, the place they call “Skull Hill,” they offered him a mild painkiller (a mixture of wine and myrrh), but when he tasted it he wouldn’t drink it.

After they had finished nailing him to the cross and were waiting for him to die, they whiled away the time by throwing dice for his clothes. Above his head they had posted the criminal charge against him: this is jesus, the king of the jews. Along with him, they also crucified two criminals, one to his right, the other to his left.

Matthew 27:32-38 

As today is Good Friday, let's take a look at a couple of things:

     FIRST, according to Roman Law, any person could be ordered to carry a burden for a limited distance.  So Simon of Cyrene was ordered to carry the cross of Christ because Jesus' had been beaten so badly that He could not continue.  

     SECOND, it would not go well for the soldiers who had beaten Jesus if He died on the way to His execution.  Executions were very Public Events where the might of Rome was put on display to subdue the conquered.

     THIRD, the nails used to hold a prisoner to the cross was a spike about 7" long and they were actually hammered through the wrist because the hand would not be able to hold the weight of the body.

     FOURTH, the guards actually offered Jesus a mild sedative/painkiller so Jesus would be drugged into submission.  Jesus didn't need to be chemically subdued, Jesus willingly was crucified.

     FINALLY, while the soldiers were waiting for the prisoners to die, they would gamble for the possessions of the condemned right in front of them.  This was yet another insult and shame because the family of the condemned person was not allowed the possessions.

When I was younger, I read a poem that comes to mind when I think of Jesus' sacrifice to save me and claim me as His own:

Listen to the hammer ring

and rejoice!

Listen to the hammer ring

and thank Jesus!

Listen to the hammer ring

knowing He's taken everything

that was against us

and nailed it to the Cross!  

Need A Dip or a Bath?

³ Jesus knew that the Father had given him power over everything and that he had come from God and was going back to God. ⁴ So during the meal Jesus stood up and took off his outer clothing. Taking a towel, he wrapped it around his waist. ⁵ Then he poured water into a bowl and began to wash the followers’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
⁶ Jesus came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”
⁷ Jesus answered, “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but you will understand later.”
⁸ Peter said, “No, you will never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “If I don’t wash your feet, you are not one of my people.”
⁹ Simon Peter answered, “Lord, then wash not only my feet, but wash my hands and my head, too!”
¹⁰ Jesus said, “After a person has had a bath, his whole body is clean. He needs only to wash his feet. And you men are clean, but not all of you.” ¹¹ Jesus knew who would turn against him, and that is why he said, “Not all of you are clean.”
John 13:3-11 

I was talking with some friends the other day and we began reminiscing about our childhoods, when one of the guys asked us if any of us had taken that washtub bath on the back porch.  We all laughed and said we had done that.  Then he told us the rule in his family was the oldest child got first bath and then the next oldest and so on down the line.  He said he was the youngest of 6 children so he always got the last bath.  He said he was fortunate that hot water was added regularly and the old water was dumped out regularly as well.  He said, "I knew my brothers and I knew they were not the cleanest people in the world, so when I got last bath....there was no telling what would be in that water."

 

Picture the scene....the Disciples are with Jesus in the room where they were to begin the Feast of the Unleavened Bread.  Jesus gets us, removes his outer clothing, pours water into a basin, takes a towel and begins washing the feet of His Disciples.  Going from one to the next, changing out the water as needed (look at the feet above and you'll have an inkling of what Jesus was handling).

Jesus goes from Disciple to Disciple and even washes the feet of Judas, who was about to betray Him, and then Jesus comes to Peter.  Ah Peter, that Disciple who tried so hard but seemed to be too stubborn to change.  Jesus knelt before Peter, as a servant, with the basin of water and towel, reached for Peter's feet and then Peter's stubbornness kicks in.  He tells Jesus, "YOU will never wash my feet." 

On the surface, we might say Peter could not bear to see the Savior doing such a menial task, and we might agree with Peter's response.  But Jesus tells Peter, "If I don't wash your feet, you are not one of My people."  Which smacks Peter between the eyes!  Peter's response is typical of his overreacting personality when he tells Jesus to wash him completely.  I can almost hear Jesus chuckle when he reminds Peter, "After a person has had a bath, the whole body is clean, he only needs to wash his feet."

Jesus tells Peter, in the hearing of the other Disciples, "And you men are clean, but not all of you."  Why? Because Jesus knew Judas was about to earn his thirty pieces of silver.  

 Psalm 51:10: "Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me."  

Father, 

Clean us inside and out from all that keeps us from You!

What's Your Price?

¹⁴ Then Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve disciples, went to the leading priests ¹⁵ and asked, “How much will you pay me to betray Jesus to you?” And they gave him thirty pieces of silver. ¹⁶ From that time on, Judas began looking for an opportunity to betray Jesus.

Matthew 26:14-16 

When we accept a job, one of the factors that is foremost in the decision is the salary.  We want to know that our wages will be worth our time and effort.  And for the right price, we will do just about anything.  Remember the commercial "What would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?"

Judas Iscariot was the treasurer for the Disciples.  He was the one who kept track of the funds given to them and their expenditures.  If they needed food, Judas was the one who paid the bill....I often wondered why they didn't let Matthew, who was a tax collector, keep the money....but that's just another of my wonderings.

Not sure when Judas decided to sell Jesus out, possibly he was mad a Jesus about the whole expensive perfume issue or maybe he had taken all the money himself and he was afraid he would have to give an accounting to the Disciples for his embezzlement.  But Judas approached the Chief Priests, who had been looking for a reason to get rid of Jesus, and offered his services.  He asked, rather bluntly, "How much will you pay me to betray Jesus to you?"  

It's bad enough that a member of Jesus' Disciples decided to sell Him out, but then to be bold enough to seek out the Chief Priests and as them how much Jesus' life was worth to them?  Guess how much they offered?  Thirty Pieces of Silver!  Why that specific amount?  Well, according to the Law, thirty pieces of silver was the price of a slave.  Judas sold Jesus for the cost of a slave!  Judas readily accepted the funds and then began looking for the right time to earn the money.   

Let me ask you (and me), what's your price?  If someone stuck a gun to your head and told you to deny Christ or die....which would you do?  We may bravely say we would be strong, but that's all talk.    When the bank account is empty and there's no food, what's your price?  When you lose your job, what's your price?  When your spouse decides the marriage is over, what's your price? 

When the chips are down, what's your price? 

How Much Do We Care?

Six days before the Passover celebration began, Jesus arrived in Bethany, the home of Lazarus—the man he had raised from the dead. ² A dinner was prepared in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, and Lazarus was among those who ate with him. ³ Then Mary took a twelve-ounce jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard, and she anointed Jesus’ feet with it, wiping his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance. ⁴ But Judas Iscariot, the disciple who would soon betray him, said, ⁵ “That perfume was worth a year’s wages. It should have been sold and the money given to the poor.” ⁶ Not that he cared for the poor—he was a thief, and since he was in charge of the disciples’ money, he often stole some for himself.
John 12:1-6

As we go through this week leading up to Easter, let's take a look at some of the interesting things about Jesus' life during this week that we often overlook because we don't really understand or they seem to be mere footnotes in history.

In this passage, Jesus is at the home of the same Lazarus whom He raised from the dead.  Martha prepared a dinner in Jesus' honor and Lazarus ate with Him.  Now Mary, who had sat at the feet of Jesus and listened intently to Him teach.  As the they are eating, she takes a HUGE jar of EXPENSIVE perfume and washes Jesus' feet with it and then dries His feet with her hair.

Okay.....saddle up......'What's so big about dabbing a bit of perfume on Jesus' feet?'  Well, in Jesus' time, the feet were the most unclean part of the human body because people and animals tended to leave everything in the roadways, so as one is traveling from place to place the feet stepped in all sorts of detritus. Which is why one of the hallmarks of a gracious host was to make sure the traveler had their feet washed BEFORE entering the home.  Mary not only washed Jesus' feet, she washed them with an entire pound of perfume that cost a laborer an entire year's salary.  How many of us would give up a year's wages to perform a single act of graciousness to Jesus?   

Mary also dried Jesus' feet with her own hair.  Now she has washed the journey's crud from Jesus feet with this expensive perfume, and now she's wiping with her hair which would perfume her hair as well as pick up much of the road gunk from Jesus' feet.  How many of us would be so humble as to take care of someone with in such a way?

Enter Judas (yes, THAT Judas), who complains about the "wasting" of this perfume which he claimed could be sold and the money used to help the poor.  Well, let's consider this for a moment.  IF Mary had surrendered this perfume to be sold, because of the cost, selling it would be a challenge.  Not to mention the fact that John pulls no punches when he calls Judas a thief.

Beginning to get the picture? 

Finally, yes I'm almost finished, Mary made a sacrifice by doing the unthinkable while Judas' only act was to complain.  Are we Mary or Judas?

In Times Of Stress

Depend on the Lord in whatever you do,
    and your plans will succeed.

Proverbs 16:3 

 

Today I am talking to myself and letting you listen in.  Over the last several weeks, there have been quite a number of stressful challenges.  Most of which I did not handle as well as I should have.  Why? Because I tried to make MY plan work.....and when it failed, I was even more stressed.

 

I know we were promised that there will be trials, troubles, tribulations, and any other negative "T" word, in our lives.  I could accept that, but when they seem to drop on me all at once.....

 

But I was reminded that I teach a class on Law Enforcement Stress and I was not using the same tools I teach on how to handle stress, so the smack to the face was quite a wake-up call.

Here are some of the things that have helped me in the past, and will continue to help when I remember not to rely on me:

 

     1.  Face facts.  If I walk around with a smile on my face and my heart is racing because I am stressed, I'm lying to everyone!  The first step to any resolution is admitting and identifying the problem.  So the problem I was having was ME.

 

    2.  Write it out.  Writing things down helps your mind process and begin to put the situation in order.  When your mind is able to begin to put things in order, the strain of the situation will lessen.

 

    3. Talk it out. If you see me talking to myself in the car, I'm having a conversation with God about what's on my mind and heart.  If you see me with my head down walking quickly, I am on my way to the car to talk with God about what's on my mind and heart.  Why talk to God?  Because He understands how I feel, what I think, and already has worked out a resolution to the issue.  

 

     4.  Talk with your loved ones.  When we are enduring stress, our human response tends to be to isolate ourselves and push others away.  But when we talk with loved ones about what's going on with us, we have a support system that God has given us to help us.

 

The key to all of this is that I understand I cannot (and should not, given the results of many of my plans) try to handle stressful situations by myself.  God has given us so much and has so much He wants to give us when we depend on Him!