The Lord will fight for you. You just keep still.
Exodus 14:14
Last week was one of the worst weeks I have had in a long long time. I was out of town in what was supposed to be a three-day training. Things don't always work out the way we envision them or plan them or hope they will or even how we think they ought to go. You see, I thought I was going to have a chance to get away, learn some very insightful and useful things I could then bring back and use to help my Department, then I could come home and share my wisdom with all.
But....didn't happen that way. On day one, I was trying to answer emails during the breaks, return phone calls during lunch, and when I got back to my lodging a whole new set of issues. I was hoping to review the material and get some rest. There were three reasons that didn't happen: First, hotel mattresses are almost always uncomfortable to me and no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't get comfortable. Second, my neighbors on one side sounded like they were having quite the professional wrestling match, while on the other side the sounds and noises were, shall we say, not something I wanted or needed to hear. Third, the air conditioning was not working.
On the second day of class, more of the same of answering messages during breaks and returning phone calls during lunch, until....I got the message that a dear member of our Department had passed away. I had to read the message several times before it finally sank in. I had just visited the dear lady and now she was gone. So when I got back to my room, I tried to put some thoughts together to deliver her funeral message but couldn't think. I prayed for peace and none came. Suddenly, I got the strong need to get back home to deal with this up close. So, I packed, got in the car, notified my instructor what had happened, and came home.
On the way home, traffic was frustrating and infuriating. At one point, the three lane interstate had been converged into a single slow moving lane due to road construction. Not only that, but I got behind that ONE person.....you know the one....who has to keep half a mile between their car and the vehicle in front of them (and they aren't about to move). So I was stuck behind them for what seemed like hours.
All this time I am letting God have it! I am unloading a barrage of my opinions and perspectives, directives, expectations, and in language I didn't remember learning in the Army. When I finally got home, I was still fuming.
I spent the night tossing and turning and, true to form, at 4:19am, I was wide awake and knew God was ready to have a chat. I began this prayer time with my sincerest apology for my ranting and raving and for my frustration. And guess what I got in return? The peace that I cannot explain, the lightening of my burden because of the forgiveness I had been granted, and such a clarity that I knew what needed to be said at the funeral.
I wrote some things down, let the family read it, and was ready to deliver it on Thursday. Thursday Morning, I got a call from the family asking for a couple of changes to what I had written. Again, I prayed for focus and the help to say what the family wanted. I jotted down the notes given to me by the family, and let God take it from there.
All my ranting, raving, frustration, and anger....and God reminded me to "BE STILL!" God reminded me to let HIM do the fighting for me. Let Him speak through me.
We're never to old to be reminded that God is God and we are not!
No comments:
Post a Comment