Permission To Speak!

Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips.

Psalm 141:3 

 

I remember it as if it were yesterday, standing at attention in front of my assigned bunk, stomach churning, and here came our senior Drill Instructor with his clipboard.  He walked in front of each of us, checking our names against his clipboard.  And for some reason, he chose to stop in front of me, tapping his clipboard.  "St. John....what kind of name is that?  Do you think you are holy or something?"  The split second I opened my mouth to answer, the clipboard was thrown on the floor and the screaming started, reminding me that in HIS Platoon no flea bitten, brain dead, wannabe was to EVER speak without expressed specific permission!  And did I know understand? Fearing to speak again, I nodded, and the barrage began in earnest.  After 10 minutes or so of this onslaught, I was asked, once again, if I understood.  This time, I answered with, "Permission to speak Drill Sergeant!"  and was granted permission to answer.

 

Now, years on, I began thinking about that incident and how there are times I am afraid to tell God what's on my heart and mind because it's not what I figure He wants to hear.  My fear is that He will laugh at me, tell me how ridiculous I am being, or some other punishment.  Take this morning for example, when my alarm sounded, I turned it off and really did NOT want to get out of bed.  I did not want to do anything today except relax.  The last several weeks had been draining for me, and I wanted to just take time to rest and let my mind wander.  I, foolishly, believed that God didn't know what I wasn't saying, but He quickly reminded me that I did need to get up and get moving because He had plans for me.

 

God is not like my Drill Sergeant who was determined to yell and scream in order to make a point.  God works in more subtle ways.  As a matter of fact, because I followed God's prompting to get up and get moving, I was given a free breakfast when some unknown person picked of my tab, I got to work and got to have some great conversations, and the check engine light on my work car finally went out.  All in all, a pretty good day for not wanting to get up.