"You Just Don't Get It!"

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Hebrews 4:15-16 

 

During my growing up years, I admit that believed that God had no clue what it felt like to be me.  I was almost always the smallest person in my classes, and was bullied because of it.  While most of the others were engaged in sports of some sort, I preferred to spend my time reading about, and learning, things which weren't necessarily taught in school.  My musical preferences were FAR different from most of my contemporaries. When our church youth group went to the beach, I enjoyed just wandering along the shoreline looking for shark teeth and anything else that caught my eye.  I was, and still am, a socially awkward introvert.  All in all, I never have felt as if I truly "fit-in" anywhere.  Even today, I still struggle with the whole "fitting-in" wondering.

 

I told God, on numerous occasions, that "You Just Don't Get How I Feel!"  On one particular Youth Group Trip, I was, once again, just walking along by myself and thinking.  The more I thought, the more angry I became with God, until I finally out of anger, pain, frustration, and heartbreak, I shouted "You've got 10 seconds to PROVE to ME that You get it!"  And for several seconds, I got absolutely NOTHING!  Just as I was ready to snort derisively and give God the finger, from behind me I head a raspy voice chuckle and say, "Boy, God don't work like that."  

 

When I turned around, I saw this skinny, grey haired old man who looked and smelled like he had just crawled out of a dumpster.  Yet this man proceeded to remind me that Jesus understands how I felt because He was a weird kid as well.  How many 12 year olds can teach the Scribes and Pharisees on the Scriptures? How many people do you think would meet the challenge of the Scribes and Pharisees on a matter of Religious Law regarding an adulterous woman?  When Jesus became an adult, he walked away from His father's carpentry business to begin teaching and preaching.  Even then, the people in His hometown said, "Isn't this the carpenter's boy?" and they refused to listen to Him.

This old, stinky man, gently walked me through the life of Jesus in a way I had never heard before, and I hung on his every word. When he finished, he looked me in the eye and said, "So yeah, God gets it. And He's gonna bring you through it."  Then he stood up, stretched, and toddled off down the road.  It took me a while, but I finally figured out that it doesn't matter whether I actually SEE God working or not, because I KNOW He's working in my life out of His love for me.