We Need To Talk About This!

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
    he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

The righteous person faces many troubles,
    but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.

Psalm 34:18-19

 

There is something we NEED to talk about....it's a topic many are uncomfortable discussing for whatever reason...but we MUST address it.  We NEED to discuss Suicide!  

 

Suicide is an act of desperation; an answer to our dilemma when we have run out of answers; the "final escape" from the emotional, physical, spiritual agony.  Do I believe suicide is a sin? Yes I do, but I also understand why some choose that path.  Do I believe suicide is unforgivable and the one who commits suicide will be denied entry into Heaven? No.  There is only ONE unforgivable sin and suicide isn't it.  Besides nothing, absolutely NOTHING, can separate us from the love of God!

 

There is a common comment I have heard when someone has taken their own life: "They didn't give any indication they were even considering suicide."  We can't always know what is going on in someone else's mind.  We don't always know what someone is facing or struggles they face.  What we can do is remind them, every time we interact with them, that they are a valuable part of our lives and we care about them (Show them, don't just tell them).  Will that always change someone's mind? No.  Sadly, once a person has made the decision, they will usually follow through. Yet sometimes, the simple act of showing them how much they matter will give them that spark of hope they so desperately need.

 

Suicide is devastating for those left to cope with the sudden loss.  But I have a confession to make, having been in the darkness of despair on more than one occasion, and with pistol in hand, my own thoughts were not about abandoning my loved ones.  My thoughts were telling me that my loved ones would be better off without me.  There is a difference and it's called PERSPECTIVE!  If you have never been in the darkness of despair to the point you saw no way out, you cannot understand what it is like there.

 

But there is hope!  And THAT is what I want to get across!  How can we help someone who is considering suicide?  

 

Let's get practical:  

STAY WITH THEM! Don't leave them alone if at all possible!  

LISTEN TO THEM! Let them talk about everything that is going on in their hearts and minds, even if it sounds like gibberish to you, in their minds it makes sense so JUST LISTEN!  

DO NOT JUDGE!  Judgmentalism will not achieve a favorable response!

SPEAK IN SOFT TONES! Believe it or not, your tone of voice does have an effect.  Speak in comforting tones and a soft volume.

DO NOT TOUCH THEM WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION!  Sudden movements (even a hug or a hand on the shoulder) can trigger a disastrous nervous reaction.

REMIND THEM OF THEIR VALUE!  People need to feel valued, they need to know that their lives matter, that THEY matter.  Remind them with specifics ("You matter to me because we are friends and I want us to become better friends."  "You are important to me because every time I see you, a smile is your gift to me.")

OFFER THEM HELP!  Offer to contact someone THEY trust to help them.  Offer to go with them to appointments.  If they are hospitalized make it a point to go see them OFTEN!

 

Suicide is not the escape we may think it is.  But when we look beyond ourselves and reach out to love others a Christ loves us, we CAN make a difference!   

 

"He will not crush the weakest reed
    or put out a flickering candle.
    Finally he will cause justice to be victorious."

-Matthew 12:20