Thankful for Time

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
    he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Psalm 34:18 

 

I write most of these devotionals based on the things conversations with people or issues I have overheard or have experienced.  I realize that some of the situations presented will not speak to everyone and that's okay. 

Recently, I have tried to help several people process their grief.  Some have been successful and some just aren't ready to proceed.  Let me state right from the beginning, grieving is an individual process!  Each person grieves differently and each progresses at a different pace.  There are no time limits on when you are to reach the next step.  This is not a race or a graded event where the first to reach the goal wins.  Grief is an individual process.

My family has had a rough year with grief this year, and I would like to share my own process for grieving.

1.  I was angry!  I was angry at the person who had died because they died.  They wouldn't be around any longer.  I was angry with God for calling them home, I wanted more time to spend with them.  I was angry with myself for not spending more time with them.  I thought of the person as perfect, without flaws, almost angelic...especially when everyone at the funeral said such wonderful things about them, and it made me angry that such a perfect person was no longer around.

2.  I felt guilty!  I felt guilty for being angry.  I felt guilty for not spending more time with them.  I felt guilty that it was not me the God had called home.  I felt guilty for the memories where the person, in reality, wasn't the pure and perfect person I had envisioned. I felt guilty for being so selfish as to want God to bring them back so I could spend more time with them.

3.   I became depressed!  I didn't care about anything or anyone (myself included).  I had no energy.  I cried a lot.  I spent most of my days just going through the motions answering questions with a monotone monosyllabic responses.  Everything was draining for me.

4.  I began to realize that I should be grateful and thankful for the time I did get to spend with them.  I should be grateful and thankful for the wisdom I had learned from them.  I should be grateful and thankful for all the laughs, dreams, and good times we got to share.  I should be grateful and thankful to God for allowing our paths to cross just when I needed them.

Now this process took years, and I still have times when I go through the process again.  Did God and I talk through the process?  Well, let's just say at first, I did the talking telling God exactly what I thought of Him and His plan that took them from me.  As the process progressed, I began to listen more and talk less.  By the end, I was listening, remembering, celebrating and thankful to God for His gift of that person.

We must learn to be Thankful for the people God brings into our lives, even if it's for a short time, because there's a reason for that season.  Celebrate the relationships!

#dailythankfulchallenge